We left for Miami on Sunday, February 8th, arriving at the Embassy Suites Hotel around 6:30 p.m. My husband made the trip without any mishaps. Once we got to the hotel and the shuttle driver unloaded the luggage, he tried to help by bringing in a suitcase (it had rollers) but then he turned around and tried to put it back in the van! My daughter stopped him before he got it loaded! Patrick met us at the front desk to welcome us, and invite us to join them at the reception and then for dinner with the other couples and Countrygirl. We had a very pleasant dinner together and forged the beginning of a bond that will continue. My daughter slept in the comfortable chair and ottoman in front of the door in case my husband decided to take a stroll during the night. She claimed she wanted to and that she was comfortable, so I stopped trying to talk her out of it.
Monday morning we had our buffet breakfast, then gathered our belongings and met in the lobby to board the shuttle for the ship. We had a very speedy embarkation, and were met with champagne or orange juice as a welcome drink, as we boarded the ship. We were invited to enjoy the lunch buffet until it was time to go to our rooms at 3 p.m.. The view of Miami from the Veranda Grill was great! We then checked out our room before going up to the pool to visit with others. We had our lifeboat drill, during which my husband fell down the last three steps and twisted his foot. He refused to go to the doctor, refused a wheelchair and chose to limp back to the room. Since he could move it, and said he was okay, I didn’t push it.
At dinner that evening we met the Florida group, who had come down by van. I saw Joan and Sid for the first time, along with several other couples of our caregiver cruise. There were several couples of Joan’s group along with the web group, and we were all happy to be there! By the time dinner was over, my husband had to lean on me to get back to the room.
On Tuesday morning and each succeeding morning we had breakfast on our balcony and loved every bite of it! We landed at Key West this morning. My husband finally agreed to use a wheelchair, thank goodness! The crew assisted us in getting the wheelchair off the boat to where we met our tour group for a tour of Key West. We enjoyed seeing the town and hearing of the history of Key West. After the tour, we took a taxi back to the Hemingway House, which we wanted to see (along with the beautiful gardens and the famous cats). We would have walked, but pushing the wheelchair was not easy on those streets, so we opted for comfort. Almost every café served Key Lime Pie! The whole area is made for tourists, and to offer a fun time for all visitors. The weather was perfect. Teena Cahill was the Tuesday morning speaker and she is a fabulous person with more strength of will than anyone I have ever met. I truly admire her! Her story is one that I highly recommend that you read. She has a wonderful outlook on life and we had a lot of fun too!
We made our way back to the ship for our meeting with the caregivers group. These sessions (both morning and afternoon for an hour each) were exactly what I needed - to be face to face with others that I knew and be able to say ANYTHING. And some of our experiences on board were shared as well!
We discovered the first afternoon that we were served tea and canapés every afternoon in our room! Boy, were we spoiled!
On Wednesday, a day at sea, Joan gave a talk which was very good. She will have a great future as a speaker on caregiving! Go, Joan! This was also a day spent relaxing and unwinding. I found a sign on my door that said “This is a stress free zone” which, after taking a picture of it, I altered to read “This is not a stress free zone”. My husband had chosen to awaken at 1 a.m. and not go back to sleep, and therefore my daughter and I didn’t get to go back to sleep either!
Thursday, after breakfast on our balcony, we spent most of the day on Grand Cayman. We took a “tender” to shore. The ships can’t dock due to the coral. We were met by the tour guides for the different tours offered on the island. We opted for the tour of the island, followed by the swim with the manta rays. We had a wonderful time, except for the “Queen Elizabeth Gardens” tour, during which our tour guide walked too fast and didn’t allow enough time for us to take all the pictures we wanted, and the temperature and humidity were off the wall! Once we were back on the air conditioned bus, we felt better! The boat trip out to the “swimming with manta rays” was great. I have some video of the petting of the manta rays (I stayed on the boat with my husband (whose ankle had healed enough that he barely limped at all). None of the other caregivers were on our tour for this one. After the tour, we shopped for souvenirs, then boarded the tender for the memorable return trip. We barely made it for our afternoon session (we were only 5 minutes late). It is amazing listening to the husbands discuss their AD and how they are still active in various degrees outside the house. They know they have it, they know we are taking care of them, they support our discussing them to help each other, and really had a good time together. It was amazing and wonderful. Some of the husbands have never discussed their AD with their wives, while others discuss it openly.
Friday was another day at sea, which meant that most chose to spend a lot of time on deck by the pool, either reading, relaxing, visiting or just tanning. We had two more good sessions together, and before dinner Friday night, we met by the grand staircase and had the photographer take a picture of all of us. It turned out very well. Joan’s going to try to put it on the blog. We all took pictures of each other, and hugged, and wished we had more time to spend together. It is a great way to share and get some much needed rest at the same time!
Saturday morning we disembarked and took the shuttle to the airport for the flight home. We were fortunate with no delays and no major problems. It was my husband’s last trip, and he says that he had a good time. That made taking him worthwhile. I’m glad we were able to go.
Mary-It really was a wonderful trip. It was so nice to meet you in person, along with your husband and daughter. Despite all the stress of caring for your husband on the ship, I am so happy to know that you enjoyed yourself! You are an amazing woman!!! You Rock, Girl!!!!!
Mary, welcome back! i am so very glad you all have a lovely time and DH behaved himself. your daughter was a real trooper to help with his care. i know you enjoyed your cruise and we look forward to your pics! divvi
Divvi, I didn't say my husband behaved himself!!! <GRIN> I just won't discuss those incidents here! I DID discuss them in the group sessions though. I was surprised that some of them said that they could not handle a couple of my situations on the trip (that I took with laughter).
ok fess up later Red. you know youve got our interest up now:) we can handle it of course! boy would those guys be shocked to read our posts or what????? haha..i wanna know the good and bad..:)noseydivvi
I do hope more of you will be able to join us on the Alaska cruise. Countrygirl said she was going. Details about that cruise will be posted on the home page in the next few weeks.
Mary, I enjoyed your trip description and am thrilled you all had a good time. Having been on Cruises before I felt like I was right with you on your story.
Well, I got my computer fixed finally! Okay, you want to hear, so I'll tell you. My confessions! <grin>
I had been worried about my husband leaving the room during the night on the ship, and tried to find child guards for the door, but all I could find that looked like they would work required putting a hole in the door, so we didn't get one. He never tried to leave the room without us! That worked out very well! Thank goodness!
Even though I took him to the bathroom at every opportunity (and I must add that the airports and most places we stopped had the handicapped restrooms so that I could go in with him), when we got on the tender to return to the ship when leaving Grand Cayman, as soon as we sat down in the back of the boat, my husband got up and started forward (two story boat). My daughter ran after him, asking if he needed to go to the bathroom (he passed right by it) and he said no and kept walking. He stopped at the second row and sat down, and unzipped and let it go. My daughter turned to look at me with a "what do I do now?" expression followed by an "I don't know him" expression. I started giggling at her expressions until I started laughing at her antics on the way back to where I sat. My husband finished, zipped up, got up and returned to sit by me as if all was totally all right. I laughed even more. (I do sometimes have a weird sense of humor, I guess!) What was I going to do? Be embarrassed? I didn't know anyone on the boat other that my husband and daughter, and no one noticed what he was doing!!!!!!
The next afternoon we had walked around the ship and made a turn around the deck before heading for our room. He was right behind me as we left the deck and entered the hallway toward our room (10 doors down). I turned around and he was gone! I backtracked to where I had left our daughter sunbathing and he wasn't anywhere to be seen! I told her that I lost him, and she hopped up and I turned around to go back to where I had been. And he walked out of a "crew only" door, zipping his pants. I didn't open the door. I didn't say a word. My daughter said "Since you have him again, I'll go back to getting my tan!" and I said "okay" and I led him to our room as if nothing had happened! I have no idea what the "crew" thought when they opened that door! Or what was behind it!
The weird part of this disease is that he doesn't know he has done wrong!!! It wouldn't do me any good to correct him, since he only does it when he feels great pressure and you can see that he is moving by rote. And I think of a two-year old and it then seems like what they do. But those were his two "episodes."
Some of the ladies said that they would die of embarassment, but I choose to look at it as "he can't help it".
He also woke up at 1 a.m. one night and never went back to sleep. He wanted to get dressed, and so he put on our daughters pants and shirt before we realized what he was doing. When he reached for her bra she said "if you put that on I'll take your picture in it and plaster it on Facebook for the world to see!" <grin> He must have figured out what that meant - or her tone of voice, because he put the bra back down! We finally got him to take off her clothes and lay down. We put in a movie so that we could dose while he watched it and hopefully would go to sleep. He didn't. He watched the whole movie and we had to put in a second one. When it was over, it was time to get up. Thank goodness, the next night he slept and so did we!
Mary, i am glad you shared your experiences:) welcome to my world:) these are common daily happenings round here-you do have to watch them in public forany signs they will unzip in public or around kids. that would be bad-thats why if i am taking him out i put 2depends and then the plastic pants over that, he can hardly get anything out its so confining but it works. like you say, what can you do, they dont understand reprimands. Divvi
Mary, your story brings back memories....Once I turned around in line at the public library and saw my husband make a bee line for the ladies room....by the time I got to him he was in the bathroom...pants down around his ankles and peeing in the trash can....thank goodness no one else was in there at the time. Another time he peed right into an electric fan...talk about clearing a room......It was always a surprise where he would be going........
Mary, when I read your post, I thought....there's no way I could handle that. Then I read Joan's blog today and the peeing in public seemed like a minor thing.
I just hope I am never faced with either option. Another reason to keep my dh close to home. He does not handle new environments and travel well. We have did well this week with eating out at 4 different restaurants with no mishaps but one day last week at home I had to help him eat, and clean the floor afterwards.
Right! The others were for bluedaze, Sunshyne and Mawzy! <grin> (I only saw six of the 46 cats that are there. Two were where I couldn't get their pictures.)
Also, for those who are thinking that they couldn't go through what divvi and I go through, when it first starts, you just do it, and later you realize that it isn't that big of a deal in the overall scheme of things. I wouldn't want to handle rages and anger like the others do. I didn't want to handle the mono jerks either. My husband had his first on the right side of his body while sleeping in his reclliner the other night. Every 15 seconds for 15 seconds - and it lasted about 20 minutes. They stopped when he woke up, and he hasn't had them since. It was scary.
oh mary, sorry! to me i can clean floors and baths and everything else. but this jerking and seizure stuff just does me in for sure. its my most anxious times and i have to really concentrate everyday to not 'bring 'it on by thinking alot about it! haha. i am sorry, better check with his neuro if they continue. neurontin in child doses is fab for it in my case. i dont want them to escalate so better sooner than later. divvi ps my DH almost exclusively happen when he wakes up after a deep sleep or nap.