I'm not usually one for "inspirational" tales, but here's one that we spouses could take to heart:
Subject: Attitude is Everything
Jerry was the kind of guy you love to hate. He was always in a good mood and always had something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!" He was a unique manager because he had several waiters who had followed him around from restaurant to restaurant.
The reason the waiters followed Jerry was because of his attitude. He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, Jerry was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.
Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Jerry and asked him, "I don't get it! You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?"
Jerry replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, Jerry, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or you can choose to be in a bad mood.
I choose to be in a good mood. Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life."
"Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested. "Yes it is," Jerry said. "Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations.
You choose how people will affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live life."
I reflected on what Jerry said. Soon thereafter, I left the restaurant industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.
Several years later, I heard that Jerry did something you are never supposed to do in a restaurant business: he left the back door open one morning and was held up at gunpoint by three armed robbers.
While trying to open the safe, his hand, shaking from nervousness, slipped off the combination. The robbers panicked and shot him. Luckily, Jerry was found relatively quickly and rushed to the local trauma center.
After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Jerry was released from the hospital with fragments of the bullets still in his body. I saw Jerry about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins. Wanna see my scars?"
I declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone through his mind as the robbery took place. "The first thing that went through my mind was that I should have locked the back door," Jerry replied. "Then, as I lay on the floor, I remembered that I had two choices:
I could choose to live, or I could choose to die. I chose to live."
"Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked. Jerry continued, "The paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the emergency room and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared.
I read, 'He's a dead man.' I knew I needed to take action." "What did you do?" I asked. "Well, there was a big, burly nurse shouting questions at me," said Jerry. "She asked if I was allergic to anything." "Yes," I replied.
The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled,"Bullets!"
Over their laughter, I told them, "I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead."
Jerry lived thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude. I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully.
Kind of hard to look at much positive when your standing there covered in pee or your hands are full of poop ...... and you've got a grey haired 2 year old walking through more mess on the floor ........ it's just kinda hard .......... I don't think, even looking back on this journey, in years to come, that I'll see much positive in it 'cuz it's just so damned tragic !
Do I need respite ? ........ you bet I do but the powers that be say "oh, too bad ...... 7 month wait" ........ how many 7 month waiting periods of time do they think I can withstand ........ it'll be interesting to see :(
Bar-bra, I feel for you. It IS tough and there is no positive in this damned disease. But the positive is that you and I have REALLY GOOD friends here that understand what we are going through. What a blessing they are! Hang in there, please.
Bar-bra, I really feel for you, I'm not walking in your shoes right now, but...
Every day I type the following out. I started to write it when things were pretty bad around here. It has grown over time, but this is the center of what I'm affirming. And it is strange, but although it took a long time, it really did work.
I know that my attitude is my decision and I know I deserve the best. I choose to be happy, healthy and strong, kind, patient and forgiving, calm, serene and flexible, aware, thoughtful and wise, but most of all I choose to be grateful for the joys and blessings in my life.
My attitude is my decision and the first thing I choose to be was happy. The rest of the list were things I knew I also needed to cultivate.
There are joys and blessings in my life. I have a wonderful daughter who has a great husband. He is one of the good guys. I have a really special grandson who is learning and growing more wonderful every day. And they came to visit me this weekend. There are people in my community who go out of their way to do nice things for me. I was having problems with my mail order pharmacy and the customer service rep went out of her way to kick my sealed prescriptions into action and got me my drugs before I ran out. Etc., etc., etc.
Right now I'm not dealing with pee and poop, and I don't know how I will handle it when I do need to do that. But I'm hoping I will still be able to find the joy in the flowers and the beauty in the evergreens that have snow all over them.
MMarshal reminded all of us that we have people here who can understand when we need to vent. And they are a blessing. One more blessing to count when I need to remind myself of the good things in my life.
THANK YOU ALL for your kind and wise words ..... I guess I'm just a little down today. I shouldn't be ....... there are so many world wide who are suffering through such awful things ..... I'm just being real self-centered I guess ! I've got a warm and dry place to live, a roof over my head, food on the table and even a little jingle in my jeans ....... so really I don't have anything to be down about ....... there's no point in being down about my husband having Alzheimers 'cuz ...... it is what it is and there ain't no fix'n it.
I've noticed the last few days that my husband has started standing up and then pacing around - when I ask him what he would like, can I get him something, what is he looking for etc he just responds ...... "I don't know what I'm doing". When I'm not in the room with him I can hear him pacing around as he sort of shuffles rather than takes definite steps and we have hardwood so I hear the swooshing noise as he moves around - its so disconcerting not to be able to do something positive for them and heartbreaking when you think how little they have going on in their minds ...... do you suppose they know their minds are empty for the most part? I just can't imagine what it must be like ..... my mind is so full and running on over-load every day ...... just trying to keep all the balls in the air.
briegull, that really is beautiful but Bar-bra, I can understand your not having a positive attitude with pee all over you and a handful of poop! Bless your heart. I hope today is a better day for you. {{{{Hugs}}}}
Not to cross Threads, but there was just a full moon. This is proving to be an identifiable connection with my hubby's behavior. I think it's worth tracking. If you see the same restlessness, etc. during the next full moon, you may be able to then recognize what's going on with him and not be so concerned.