Hello everyone: this is my first time writting in, My DH has been diagnosed severe/mod..I think it all started back in '95, when we lost our Son to A.L.S.he went into depression, and slowly has gone into Alz.He is 87 and I am 80. He doesn't enjoy doing very many things...he has forgotten all the things he enjoyed before, such as gardening, and fixing anything that needed fixing. He will sit and read some of his Italian books.He gets more confused when he leaves the house and we come back...even though he thinks this isn't our home.As you all know, this is a very Sad desease. I have been reading Joans Blog for some time now, and have found it very helpfull. Any ideas on how to keep him busy?
I would be interested in any suggestions also. My husband has been diagnosed with FTD and is 59 years old. The only thing he seems to be interested in is walking around the mall. I have tried getting him to do puzzles, models, paint-by-number, color even. I did get him to play a couple of games with me one day. We played Sorry but he wouldn't play a second game because he beat me and felt bad. The next was connect4 (a tic tac do kind of game) and that was good for about a half hour. I even tried to get him books on tape. Now nothing. He is not interested in anything. I need to find things for during the day. At night he is content to watch tv.
It just is so individual. Might he be interested in going to a senior center or "daddy day care" ? Mine's not, but he's now (currently) interested in watching tv, which he never liked to do. Can you take him to the mall and wait while he walks around, or would you lose him? And what works today won't work tomorrow.
I take my husband to the mall every morning. I do my walk while he wanders around. He is still in early stages so I don't have problems with him wandering or getting lost. One time a day is not enough for him. It drives me crazy and you know you can't reason with him. He sometimes forgets he was already at the mall and will insist its the first time of the day.
Roz13 - my DH loves to garden. He doesn't do anything heavy, I just leave the watering can in the back yard, and he spends hours watering the plants. Whether they need it or not, it makes him feel useful. He also loves to walk our dogs. Welcome, and God bless.
Roz. Welcome! Sorry don't have any suggestions. Wish I did, cause it would help if Dh was busy doing something that I didn't have to worry that he was gonna hurt himself doing. Have you tried some of the hand held games? My Dh is a little to far along to really enjoy. But I keep searching for one that might interest him. Rk
Roz and Deb, you need to think of a 2 - 4 year old when choosing activities. I have the same problem you do. Mine read for a while (he had been a voracious reader before AD), then pretended to read before giving it up because he couldn't comprehend any more; he put together four sailing ship kits (the last one he did so poorly on that he threw it away - we have the three good ones on the bookshelf in the den so he can look at them); he played card games on the computer until about 3 months ago when he stopped trying because he couldn't figure out the plays; and DVDs are beginning to lose his attention as well. I'm thinking of getting a robot (like Wall-E) that he can maneuver around the den and bother the dogs with. <grin>
He loves to go riding in the car, and when we go in somewhere and have to wait (like yesterday when my grandson took his driving test), I got him a Coke and a Snickers to keep him occupied. Just as if he were a child. It worked.
When the weather warms up again, I'll let him back in the garden to pull weeds. <grin>
Its very hard to keep them entertained in those inbetween stages. Can he play cards ie-solitaire maybe online or by hand with real cards? the remote control robot toy may be a good idea? i got my DH a large toolbox early on and put lots of 'stuff' in it from lowes, things he could fool around with not hurt himself, automatic tape measures, a wrench with differnt heads to put on/off..things like that seemed to keep him busy. just opening up the big toolbox and locking/unlocking it facinated him for hrs..:) Mary, congrats your GS is driving! it will be a big help another driver now. and didnt i say the other post how i always give candy bars/drink to pacify DH when i want him occupied? it works everytime..:) i keep candy in my glovebox in car! it comes in handy if i have to run in for stamps or mail etc. plus i think the sugar fix starts his endorphins/seratonin flowing!:ha
hope you find something DH likes to do for entertainment soon! you will be surprised what can make them happy..i don tthink i could go to the mall everyday! whew..divvi
Hello to everyone..so nice of you all to offer so many ideas....He is not one to go for a drive, or a walk...it seems like when we do go out, for gas and stamps, he is more confused when we get home...saying its not his home, and won't get out of the car..he made a scene the other day, so now i think its not worth the touble taking him out.... We use to play cards.but he gave up on that... When it warms up a bit, he will go out and pull some weeds in the planater He takes a nap...and around 6:00 pm he is ready for bed. He will sleep the whole night, except for potty trips...is up at 8:00Am...He is on Zoloft (200mg) in the morn...and Xanax 0,5 3times a day. When I read some of the messages...there are those that are worse off, and those that are so young. My heart goes out to those families..
My husband had a PhD. At the end this is what I remember he enjoyed - making the bed, walking the dog, wiping down the shower. It is sad, but if you find anything like that it is wonderful. All those things take more time than you can imagine. Whatever works is the reality of life with AD.
Would adult daycare be appropriate? They are in the business of doing exactly what you are asking about--providing activities for people with dementia. If you find the right fit, it can't be beat.
I think frand has a good idea if you can get them interested in something but I can't think of a thing that my dh could do that would hold his attention. This evening he is watching the WVU game on TV. Watches 5 minute then gets up to do something else. No attention span and little interest.
Mine will watch some tv or dvd, morning or afternoon but not both. He doesn't seem to mind just sitting, so I'm gradually coming to the conclusion that I should let him do just that. That, and spread mustard on pretzels.
My DH was a workaholic with no hobbies. My kids talked about inventing a hobby for him to make gift giving easier. Last year, after his internet scam involvement, we put lots of restrictions (software) on his laptop. He didn't use it too much and complained about the restrictions. After another psych hospital stay, we put the laptop away. He spent his time watching tv, doing some chores around the house he hadn't done before (laundry, floors, etc.). Now, he watches tv. TV news. The same news channel ALL day. The one I hate to watch at all. No laundry or any chores anymore. Just the tv news. And napping. If you ask him, he is bored so he naps. We go out to breakfast every morning and lately he falls asleep the minute we get home. After all, he says, he can't work. Therefore there is nothing he can do.
Pat - my dh does the same, except he never used a computer. Just sits and naps and we go out to breakfast every day. At least the time out to breakfast gets them outside for a while, so that is good and it also helps us.
My DH seems to also have slowed down some lately. he doesnt have interest in TV or movies either but seems to like to hear the TV on all day so i leave it on constantly maybe because i also like it on for company. He has been more on his fav leather couch and i have one of those overstuffed pillows from bedbathbeyond on it to prop him up enough during the day. he likes to eat at the little table next to the sofa and naps when i let him. he gets up alot during the day and walks and visits and such. then eachpm i get him into the car we pick up my grandkids from school and he enjoys the ride out in the car daily. we get dinner out every day -its come to the point where i dont insist he be doing things that appease me, but i am learning to adjust to his situtation and his abilities which arent that much -as long as he seems happy that is what i strive for-divvi
My DH sounds like Pat's. He worked in computers, even has patents. He had a personal computer before almost anyone. Now, if he can't get his computer to work, I have to help him. He enjoys TV,any program.Sometimes, he watches C-span. Usually, he naps while he has TV on. We don't have much social life. We may visit friends, or go out to eat. Last month we went on a cruise. He was okay, but it was hard for him in the dining room and the buffet line. He mostly likes staying home. He can't shop, no longer does laundry or vacuums. For me, it is easier to not put pressure on him or ask him to do anything challenging. I do worry about what might happen if I couldn't drive or cook, shop, take care of out financials.
Roz13, welcome. My DH with FTD doesn't do much all day but watch TV (he's always been a sports fanatic). We go shopping occassionally and out to lunch both of which he seems to enjoy. I got him a Nintendo Wii console for the holidays and we play the sports games on the dvd which came with the console. Actually now that it's winter and the driveway is treacherous, it gives him some exercise he otherwise wouldn't get. Besides, he's very competitive and when I beat him he gets fired up and wants to play until he beats me. So far he's better at bowling, sometimes at golf. It's a tie on golf and tennis. He likes to watch Millionaire on TV so I'm thinking about purchasing the game. I've also had success at crossword puzzles (Amazon has the NY Times easy crossword puzzle books). He likes nature so we go to local parks (or feed the birds at home) so he can see them. Unfortunately everything he does has to include me, so that becomes burdensome, particularly since I will be returning to work shortly.
I also would like to find something for my husband to do. He watches a little Sports Center in the morning. Then goes into the garage to line golf clubs up over & over again. Comes in to eat lunch, then back to the garage to line the clubs up. Around 1:00 he comes in to nap for about 3 hours, then we normally go out to dinner...my treat to myself. When we come home he goes back into the garage to line those same clubs up. Then back in to shower, watch a little TV...not really interested. Then another nap, maybe a little TV until I go to bed. He will never go to bed alone. His hobby was golf & sports, he cannot do either anymore for that's out. He did play some games on the computer, however, doesn't remember how to do that anymore. Seems like such a boring day, but he doesn't complain so I guess it's okay for him.
Hi to all of you...It seems we all have so much in common..My DH. has no interest in doing any of the things he did before, he use to play tennis, but when you ask him he says he never did..What makes it hard for us, is that we moved here to Jax,Fl. to be near our daughters (for help) we lived in Clw. Fl. for 50 years, we have family here, but no friends, so there is no social life to speak of. He use to love gardening, but has no interest in that. He spends a lot of time looking over all the Big Picture books of Italy, no interest in T.V. Enjoys his meals. He gets more confused if we take a ride in the car.We do visit our daughters, but only for a short time. He will watch me prepare meals, then he will say "where did my wife go?''that comes and goes, for now, he doesn't know our daughters, or grand-children. ONe day at a time, is what I say...each day is a new challenge...
Roz13 I live in Port Saint Lucie, Fl. My husband used to play tennis, too. That is why we moved here. Good times lasted a few years, then were gone. I used to drive myself crazy trying to find activities for my husband. Daughter is a therapeutic programs consultalt for a large nursing home chain and she couldn't come up with anything either. I'm not sure they are bored. My husband will look at family pictures that I bring in-but I don't think he processes them as anyone he ever knew. Don't tear yourself to pieces trying to find things for him to do-he won't remember a minute later. You can only live for the moment.
Bluedaze, you are so right, we live one moment at a time...He enjoys looking at his Picture Books..spends time napping, sometimes I find something on TV that will interest him for a short time..thats about it..He is going on 87 and his energy is slipping...My DH also played Tennis for many years and we enjoyed watching all the matches...he doesn't remember any of that.ao we take one minute at a time...