DH is going to go by ambulance for an MRI tomorrow at the MRI Center. The NH will send him by ambulance and I'll go with him.
The MRI is a special "water diffusion MRI" which may tell us if he has Creutzfeldt Jakob Disease, as the neurologist suspects. I'm nervous about finding out, but I feel like I need to know. Meanwhile, DH continues to have Parkinsonism but has had some improvement since the Dr. upped his Cinnamet. He constantly moves his legs and sticks his arms out at regular intervals, like he's pointing to something. His speech is barely intelligible.
I went to visit yesterday and he was lying down. I sat with him for over an hour. I told him about the kids. He's not able to really respond. I often feel like I'm talking to myself, but he says "Love you" back when I say it.
There are times when I do feel he still knows me. Yesterday, he kind of pulled me towards him when I was up close. When I kissed him, he kind of kissed me back.
The other night, I dreamt that he was gone, really gone. I woke up feeling horrible. I think I've been feeling that I'm losing him more and more, but the fear that he may be completely gone soon is unbearable.
I just wanted to post today. My middle son is home sick. He checked out the afateens.org site and I think he'll get a lot out of it, even though he's only 8. It'll help to know that others are coping with the same feelings.