well we have a black lab that is about 50#s overweight from LO feeding her anything from cheeseburgers to bacon ice cream whatever,anything LO eats she shares with lab,after visiting the vet she was told no more milk bones or treats,since nothing makes sense to her she continued to feed anything an everything an I made it known to her in no uncertain terms that she was killing the dog,she went into a rage an told me it was HER dog an she'd feed it anything she wanted whenever she wanted,I remined her that we had each paid half for the dog,she left the room an came back in a few minutes an threw $25 at me an said she wanted to buy my half,after stifling a laugh,I told her my half was the front thats what made me so angry,she was using my half without permission,this seemed to calm her down for the time being but I knew we wern't done with this saga,the following day I caught her looking thru the telephone book,thinking I could help her I asked whose number she was looking for she informed me the number of a good attorney as she was going to try an get custody of the front end of the dog,she still feeds dog anything an everything but I've lost the will to argue,if she wants to use my half without permission so be it
Sorry, ol don, I am laughing out loud. I needed some comedy to day. You have a wonderful sense of humor and without that it would be a miserable world. We really need the moments that we can laugh. Hey, watch the game today.
Okay Ol Don, it has been quite awhile since anyone sent me a story for my "Humor" section on the home page, but yours qualifies hands down. I am putting it up in that section today (if it's okay with you).
Ol Don, thanks for the laugh. My hb has a very small terrier that he feeds as your wife feeds your half of the dog. I've had no success in telling him or asking him NOT to feed the dog anything except "proper" dog food. Have lost the will to argue, too. Only hangs out by him when we're eating anything; so she's learned "the source" and who has a sharing personality.
well as you all know theres never a dull moment with our LO,s so instead getting all upset we might as well make the most of it an hope someday we get some relief,an yes Bama I will be watching an rooting for Tim Tebow lol,an Mary 75 give Eric my best I think of his wit often
Ol Don - this sounds like those emails that make the rounds of the world wide web. It would be so funny to take out any identify words and start something around the world that is actually a true story.
Old don...I did some legal research about the dogs, and it seems that the courts have ruled that you can only get custody of equal parts of the dog, that is either the right side or the left side. Front and back ownership is not permissible because of the unfair burdens it places on the owners. One has to feed it, while the other must clean up. It was a decision that took years for the courts to decide, but in essence, all body parts and weight must be divided equally, and that can only occur if it is done from side to side, not front to back.Arguments for this came from Biblical times, such as Solomon's decision to give equal halfs of the baby to each mother who claimed to be the mother, and also from Noah, who ran into custody problems when he loaded the animals in the arc. Therefore, you cannot claim the front half as being your half of the dog. Legally, you can only get either the right side or the left side. You cannot have front or back. I just want you to know your legal rights, before you get stuck with the back half.....
phranque,I would like to take this time to thank you for all your legal research,however,may I speak phranuely? as wise as King Solomon was an the courts that be, they failed to take into consideration that what goes in the front end of a dog doesn't nessasarily split in half when it leaves said hound,thus leaving said owners of each half with the overwhelming task of decieding which half belongs to which owner,I can visulize the two of us one very cold morning trying to split a big pile of used cheeseburger so that neither owner would be more equal than the other,by next spring the proponderence of evidence of said decision would be readily observered all over the back yard whilst two litigants were still at odds over which half of the pile belonged to the other,I agree King Soloman was a wise old bird but the fact remains a turd is a turd,we're not splitting hairs here,this may go to a higher court,I leave it in your hands.... the decision I mean
Ol Don, if you do have to go to court over this matter, I advise you to retain Divvi as your legal counsel. But she'll need to know if there is a contract, written or oral, that you do indeed own the front half of the dog. By the way, what is the name of the dog in question?
well Mary 75 my memory was never one of my strong points so since I was a young fellow all my dawgs have been named Babe an this one is no exception,altho she answers to the refridgerator being opened,the microwave bell going off,she responds well to the pizza delivery guy also,she is a good watch dog tho,she watches the dinner table an the fridge an if there appears to be any movement toward either she is there with bells on
Olddon. my legal briefs also determined that custody may be assigned as alternating days....One day you own the front, and the next you own the rear. I am awaiting precedents for this, but in my infinite wisdom, this may be the most agreeable form of split custody, and joint ownership. The judges that are deciding this matter are in session, but they are unable to announce their decision until they find the dart for their dartboard......
75 I never had to worry about calling any of my ex wives I just waved a Visa card at them an they came running the dogs on the other hand were more selective,they expected at the very least a scratch behind the ears,something that the ex's didn't find appealing
Thanks, phranque and ol don for the humor. I was having a lousy day after being awakened prior to 5 a.m by DH (I'm not a morning person) and then getting a call that my brother was taking my Dad to the ER. Reading this thread has put a smile back on my face.
Olddon- More legal complications with the dog. My legal associates have just informed me of another legal issue, confirming why you cannot split the dog from front to back, Since barking is primarily controlled by the front part of the dog, that feature must be available to both parties. Furthermore, licking is also an essential part of the dog's affection, along with biting and growling. Therefore, if one party is deprived of these essential features, the other party is entitled to compensation. Our judges agreed and are rescinding their ruling about front to back custody. Again, it must be awarded from right side or left side.
apparently the powers that be found their dart an have made(to me) a very unfair decision,I assume the splitting of the used cheesbergers didn't weigh heavilly in their decision,I think that I shall capitulate,perhaps buy myself a nice gerbil or maybe even a bird,on second thought a bird is out,I believe thats what the judges gave me with this horrific miscarraige of justice ruling,I want to thank phranque for his legal expertise,altho I'd prefer he helped with the cheeseburgers next spring,onward an upward to the next crisis,ain't it fun living like this?
Olddon- the decision was based solely on the used cheeseburgers. Additionally, if you owned the rear half and tried to put a leash on the dog, you could be charged with illegal restraining, and possibly dognapping....There is consolation in the fact that there is a legal loophole if he chews slippers or bites someone, you could claim that it was the side that you do not own. The decision protects you, and I urge you to accept it.
an methinks the smoke from the sugar can fields has drifted north an has caused a serious malfunction in the judical process,caution phranque if you must go out today wear a mask,the fumes could seriously affect your astute judgement,(from the cane fields no the cheeseburgers)
The smoke from the sugar cane fields is a government effort to introduce sweetness to the American public....Unlike cigarette smoke or marijuana, sugar cane affects only people's disposition, and causes them to be sweeter.....
Bluedaze..I can tell you have been here before....Upscale living at redneck prices.. Sebring is famous for its "Sebring shuffle", (from the way that most residents here walk), it's racetrack (that is only used once a year), its extreme 5 star dining (a 7 course meal at McDonalds, banquet dining at Homer's , ), its exclusive upscale shopping at WalMart, and its famous art gallery (when the train goes by, you can see some exclusive artwork) Culturally, there is several theaters. including famous broadway shows at the Highlands Little theater, featuring "Arsenic and old lace I think... Don....I will send some smoke your way because I think you can use some.... Mary---Phranque is a car that drives around a race track for 24 hrs a day........(it mostly just goes around in circles)
75 I think pharanque is one of the most amazing legal minds in the whole county of Okeecobee,why I'll bet if he had more time he could seek an win the highest office in the country(its been said he has his own darts an dart board so he has a leg up on anyone else)as for the swinging twon talk I believe the only thing swinging there are the canes used by most residents
Old don- I am not in okeechobee county....it's HIGHlands county (and I will let you guess the reason for that) also, you are correct about the canes.....we have hurrycanes, mexicanes, puerto ricanes, chicanes, americanes, etc... And I already hold the highest office in the country......heck I am a CAREGIVER (on the Kamikaze level). Perhaps you may want to borrow my dartboard..........
I hate to change the subject, but to get back to "Alrighty Then!" moments: Today as I was driving my wife home from Day Care she was talking constantly, but I really couldn't make out what she was saying. Finally I asked her "what are you talking about?" Her reply: "I'm just being silly!!" Alrighty Then!!!!
I was sitting at the dinner table at the nursing home last night feeding Charlie and talking with the aide who was feeding the lady who shares Charlie's table. Apparently I was talking so much that is was distracting the aide. Finally Mary Jane spoke up and said "Will you shut up so I can eat!"
Ol Don, Eric read your story about Babe today and was chuckling all the way through. He asked if it were a true story. "Great fun," he said. Phranque, no doubt the car is red to match your flamboyant spirit
I finished writing our Christmas letter (one page back & front with lots of pictures) yesterday. We experimented with different pictures and text before deciding on the final version. "We" decided who was going to be on the mailing list this year and I printed labels and he helped paste them on the envelopes. Finally I turned on the printer to do a large batch of letters and went out to the kitchen to cook dinner. Usually DH comes right out to the kitchen with me, but the printer (a huge laser color printer which does double-sided all in one go) is HIS baby. In years gone by he used it to print long photo-reports of our vacation and outings, and he doesn't like to let it out of his sight when it's working. And I was happy with that, because if things go wrong it's good to catch it before lots of good paper is messed up. I had just got everything on the stove when he came out to the kitchen all upset and told me to come quick because it "wasn't good." I turned off all my burners, expecting a major paper jam, and followed him back to the office. At first sight everything looked fine to me, there was already a small pile of colorful shiny pages that he had taken out of the printer and lined up on the desk. But he was angry, pointing at the pages. "Jeanette, look now, they are ALL THE SAME."
took wife out to dinner tonight,she was the last one out of the house while I waited in the car,when we got home I found a note on the inside of the front door that said we'll be right back,I guess that was for anyone in the house that might of wondered where we had gone,oh yes by the way we live alone
Tonight when my hb was going to bed, he stopped in the doorway, kissed and hugged me and said, "I love you even when I don't love you." My interpretation: he loves me even tho' he "doesn't" when I frustrate him by asking him to do or not do something, correct him, or am unable to understand him. I could say the same thing to him. :)