Marilyn, it's pretty common for ADLOs of both genders to accuse their spouses of infidelity. I think it mostly comes from fear and insecurity ... they know, at some level, that they can't possibly survive without us, and they're afraid we'll get tired of nursing them.
Another contributing factor is that they no longer sense the passage of time the same way. If they think the spouse has been gone for a long time -- whether or not the spouse has -- then they may believe something is "going on."
If you haven't read Understanding the Dementia Experience, take a look at it:
It ISN'T funny I know... but I do get a kick out of hearing some of the things your spouses do.. it makes me feel I am not alone in this crazy mixed up AD world.
Lynn decided he was going to help me clean today. He "mopped" the floor with the broom, then proceeded to put the broom in the toilet to wash it off. ACCCCK! Well alrighty then, guess I am buying a new broom today. LOL
I just ran down your "Maturity Checklist", glasses, got em; hearing aids, got two; now the false teeth I have missed. I must have strong teeth, I've got several crowns but most of my own teeth are still in place.
I had a flat top haircut in the late 1950's, remember the Butch Wax, it was pink, but did a great job of keeping the flat top in the preferred bristly and upright position. The Butch Wax had a smell that was as distinctive as Vitalis.
Must have missed the turtle neck thing during the 1960's but did wear them a lot during the 1970's. I still wear turtle necks today, are my fashions behind the times? No, turtle necks are just comfortable and are easy to care for.
I don't know how old you are, but when I went to high school a '57 VW Bug was a new car. :-))
I can remember (I must not have AD) going out with one of my HS sweeties, she wore one of those formal pink ruffly net dresses. I was all I could do to get all of that dress crammed into my dad's '56 Buick. Then somehow some part of it got next to the heater fan and made the strangest noises. I never did figure out what happened, but the noise quit after she got out of the car.
A quick question, was your prom date able to find the gear shift lever buried under all of those pink ruffles? There must not have been much room left in the front seat of that VW Bug.
I do remember the pink layered prom dress and the hoop petticoat. We used to wear crinolines under under our full skirts and try to cram them in our gym lockers. Used to dip them in straight starch and dry them over an open umbrella.
my fav outfit growing up was a pair of purple suede bell bottom pants-hit under the navel pants and a purple stretch long sleeved poly CROP top!!!!(belly exposed of course flat/no fat:)and a floppy purple suede hat to match..i thought i was the cats meouwww...haha..plus we went to clubs where they painted your belly with pscyodelic paints while you where on stage...hummmm...guessing mid 60's!! wowooooo...havent thought of that in a good while..:)Divvi
ps found a 60's pic of DH with an afro hairdo!! redish brown and a black tneck and a large medallion on his neck...he looked hot!for a lawyer..hahaahah...
divvi-sounds like something the cat dragged in. Whenever I see young people in strange get up I remember what we considered "in" and try to be more understanding. Baggy pants showing too much cleavage in the wrong place is just not pretty. We did wear some strange get up didn't we. There is a woman in our community who is stuck in the peace movement. Still has tie dye shirts and more peace jewelry that you want to see. All that is missing is a green VW bus. Thanks for the memory-and it is all good.
RK...We had another" Alrighty Then" moment here the other night. DH said I am going to buy me a car. I reminded him that he does not have a driving license and has not driven in a long time. That's okay he said I am going to buy the car and go to the court house and explain to them that I didn't renew my license in Dec. because I felt like I was not able to drive. Alrighy...Sweetheart.. Go for it.
Another "Alrighty Then" moment last night. We were watching TV and one of the commercials advertising male enhancement came on. It was very explicit. DH said, " Did we ever have sex"? I was floored! I just said yes. He said "where"? I said - whereever we lived. He said "I don't think I know what sex is". Before I got my brain into gear I just said.....well, you know how to hug and kiss and cuddle, that's good enough for me. then he said OK - and went to sleep! Alrighty then!! (Grin-grin)
Jimmy, when I was in High School the '57 VW Bug had not even been designed. My car then was a 1928 Buick touring car that we found in the barn of the house my father bought in Maine in 1945. For various reasons he named it the "Devil Wagon". My girlfriend (now my wife) made a stencil of a devil so I could paint it on the side of the car. We have lots of good memories of times with that car.
divvi, that outfit sounds like ones my cousins wore when I was a little kid, They thought they were soooooo cool. LOL Whenever they start their respect your elders stuff, I pull out old pic's of them in their cooooooooool elephant bell and go go boot outfits............. It shuts them up!
Amazing that divvi's costume came only ten years after all our pink ruffles! (I think mine were actually pale lavender) Yes, crinoline petticoats!
We had a girls' chorus performance once at Christmas time (Lamar HS), and I was, as usual, racing down the hall in my hoop skirt and ruffle dress. The snap on the hoop skirt popped, and the skirt fell down. I just sat down, then and there, in the hall, and spread my dress skirt around me, and over the hoop. Fortunately it was AFTER the concert, but people kept coming along and walking around me, and I wouldn't get up until the coast was clear; I was too embarrassed to have people see me step out of my hoop underskirt.
My DH hasn't started doing funny things yet with food but my Dad has. I visit my Dad twice a week in his dementia wing at his breakfastime when I take my DH to daycare in the same rest home. The other day when I arrived he had put his porridge with milk in his orange juice that had his asprin in can you imagen what it looked like, the staff said he had to drink it! well there was no way I was going to try to get him to drink it I proberly would have worn it but when one of the staff came along & said come on Teddie you have to drink this he drunk it like a lamb. I have seen him put his porridge in his cup of tea & on his toast just as well Mum doesn't visit at meal times she would have a fit she gets upset when he wraps his afternoon tea up in a tissue.
Alrighty—this morning, all dressed up, hair done, makeup on—on our way to church, only to discover the Saturday paper on our doorstep. So who has the problem?
Lori, Alrighty Then! Do we need to come take care of you? Since I quit working I have lost track of days a few times, but your worrying me! LOL................... Hey don't waste a dress up day, Go shopping and out to lunch. Rk
hey! my 6yr old grandaughter got some white patent gogo boots not so long ago!! they are darling -i toldher i used to have some too and she looked at me like i was quite insane:) oh-and lets not forget the one piece jumpsuits either. i had some funky ones as well! and man did they fit..haha..i remember being quite hip actually for the times.HA!
alrighty moment--asked my DH last nite, can i be your girlfriend again?? he says, 'sure!" i said jokingly 'can we have great sex too?"" -he says, let me see, and looks into his pants...""i AWWWWWWW_ ididnt ask anything else but had to raise my eyebrows on that!! who SAYS coconut oil isnt working???????????? hahaha... divvi
Jimmy, I graduated in 1960 so the '57 Bug was fairly new. He evidently was able to find the gear shift under all the ruffles -:)).
I remember the crinoline petticoats too. The cotton ones, we starched with a fish glue if I remember right. They were stiff :-). Some of the other petticoats were made out of net. It was nothing to wear three or four petticoats under our skirts. The fuller the better :-)
I was married, working and raising kids when the "hippie" generation came along so I personally missed all that!!!
Just got back from vacation, and this little thread has made my day. I'll tell all why when i'm up to it. thanks. BTW, I graduated in '61, and remember all very well. those crinolinew were darn uncomfortable to sit on, especially with a garter belt and stockings.
"ONLY YOU CAN MAKE THIS CHANGE IN ME, FOR ITS TRUE YOU ARE MY DESTINY..." THE PLATTERS, ONLY YOU- gotta love this song...sigh....1955! oldie but goodie...to go with those clinolines and bobby sox...:)
Imohr, cherry coke and green river. Green River is sold here now; brought back memories & I bought some to share w/grandkids. I was a soda jerk at the local drugstore back in the day (50s, natch). That term causes raucus lafter mongst the grands. Wore the crinolines to school under felt skirt, but couldn't wear them to work. Imagine 3-4 girls trying to work the soda fountain & work around those vintage round tables and chairs.
Re: Lori2's "Alrighty Then!" moment above, here's a funny.
'WHERE is my SUNDAY paper?' the irate customer calling the newspaper office loudly demanded, wanting to know where her Sunday edition was.
'Ma'am,' said the newspaper employee, 'today is Saturday. The Sunday paper is not delivered until tomorrow, on Sunday.'
There was quite a long pause on the other end of the phone, followed by a ray of recognition… as she was heard to mutter, 'Well, ...... so that's why no one was at church today.'
Root beer floats from the soda fountain weren't all that bad either -- of course my "time" would have been in the mid-forties. And how about a "peanut it" -- did they have those anywhere but McMullan's Drugstore in my home town? An "it" was just two scoops of vanilla ice cream in a coke glass, with a couple of squirts of chocolate syrup from the fountain on top. But if you poured on a bag of Planter's salted peanuts before the syrup, it became a "peanut it".
re the VW bugs: remember the old saying" you can't go too far in a European car" ? (Young'ns, this was because there were gear shifts between the bucket seats. American cars had the shift on the steering wheel and a vast bench seat in both front and back, and no seat belts.)
I remember the circle skirts in 1948. They also required chrinoline petticoats. The one I liked the best was navy blue and ankle length. I wore it with the prettiest blue blouse with cape sleeve, spike heels/platform soles. I had a set of rhinestone earrings and matching necklace. MMM--was I something. I went dancing every Saturday night and never sat out one dance! However, the next day after dancing for 4 hours in those shoes, I could hardly walk. That didn't make much difference to my folks--I still had to get up and go to church on Sunday morning--sore feet or not.
Here in NZ we didn't have drugstores we called ours milkbars. The thing I remember as well as sodas & milkshakes were the icecream sundaes there were alsorts banana spilt was one, my favorite was the showboat they were big enough to have as our lunch when I was first working which my friend & I often did. I remember having a pedicoat that had ring in it that you blew up to make your full skirt stand out. Also had ones that were starched.
I didn't care for the starch. I'd wash mine in the sink. wrap it in a towel to absorb the water and then dip it in this heavy-duty cold water starch. I'd hang it on the line and let it drip for a while and then I'd go out and pluck out the ruffles so they wouldn't dry flat. I'd also stand out there under the line and fluff it up. Sooooo pretty. But, that was a different time and I had lots of time to spend plucking and fluffing starched petticoats. But, wasn't it fun??
Does anyone remember the XXX Barrel? It was a drive in. The waitresses were on roller skates and they had those little trays that hooked onto the driver's lowered window. They made the BEST hamburgers and we usually got a small coke in those cute little glasses.
Gee Wizzzzz! I remember the best root beer floats were at Stuarts (we had Stuarts Root Beer) and they had gals on roller skates. All of us went for hambergers and fries and floats. I guess you might say it was the high school hang out place. We also had a brand of soda, Hoffman's. The best was their cream soda...yes, a cream float. There was a girl in their advertisement and their song was, "The prettiest girl I ever saw was sipping Hoffman's right through a straw". This song was DH's greeting when he came to visit me. Thanks everyone for the memories.
Those 'olden' days ..wow.. Our 'time' was the 50's.. Platters..oh yessss..and gee whiz, I had forgotten.. we danced up a storm. Thanks a bunch..Triple X rootbeer and chopped beef barbeque sandwiches at our local spot.
These comments remind me of the time my wife and I joined another couple at a drive-in movie back in the late 50's. The other wife was nursing her baby. During intermission a young man (early teen) came by to sell us drinks, etc. When he looked in the open car window and saw her nursing the baby he beat a hasty retreat. We laughed about it for weeks afterward.
They can afford to build a new Sonic in your neighborhood because they just closed up my neighbor Sonic. :-( The Sonic they built was probably in the planning stages for a couple of years. I hated to see ours close, my DW loved their Chili-Cheese Dogs.