I had a call yesterday from our social worker, informing me that because of DH's diagnosis of AD, there was good news as we qualified for financial assistance with the purchase of incontinence products. She said she would drop by today and I could sign the paperwork. Well, she dropped by, and I signed, and then she said - there is a 2 YEAR wait time to get on the program! And I thought, at the rate my dH is declining, we won't need the program in 2 years! Alrighty then!
bqd - that sounds like one of those "good news/bad news things. Personally I think she should have told you the whole story before she got your hopes up. (any help is better than no help.......especially when it comes to $$$$$$!)
My DH is watching a favorite Sunday night TV show. As usual, he asks me if it is a new one. As usual, I say yes and show him the red box in info that says NEW. As usual, partway through he insists he's seen it. As usual, he tells me "they just say that so you will watch it again." As usual, my stomach sinks...
Lorrie, mine is the opposite! Every show on TV is a new one to him. He's easily entertained that way, but it bores me silly sometimes. I don't know which is worse?
Here we go again. Just want to relax a bit and watch Castle. The tv announces an all new Castle, I show him it's new on the guide. Still complaining now that he has "seen this one".
There is no reasoning ability left! Find myself needing to stay up later than he does, just to have time to relax.
We are opposite, Lorrie :-) I get up early in the morning to have some quiet time. DH stays up late to watch reruns of "Just for Laughs" I am sorry you are missing out on the new shows you want to watch!
While DH was at Caregiver's Morning Out at a local church this morning, I had an event with a huge snake. Trying to share my morning with him I told him there was a great big snake in the carport...over 3 feet long. I was afraid to go back to the car to bring groceries in. It had bumps and I suspect that's what has been getting the bird eggs and little newly hatched birds. The garbage truck came in the driveway about that time and he took care of the snake for me. He got a hoe out of the corner, picked it up, threw it out in the yard, killed it and put it in the back of the garbage truck. A pretty eventful morning for me. After telling DH about this, he looked very upset and said "poor little dog". I said "It wasn't a dog, honey, it was a snake." He said "Well, what happened to the dog?" There was no dog, honey, it was a snake. He just looked confused. Why do we try to share anything with them at this stage?
I was hosing off the "astro-turf" in our backyard were my little dog had peed. You know the "fake grass" ...okay husband says, "you know that isn't real grass you don't need to water it to make it stay green" .....well Alright then...... thank your for helpful advice I would have never known!
I didn't mean to be insensitive. I remember the feeling of realizing how much is being lost at so many different moments. We all do. We went through a short period where my wife thought I was a musician. I've never played an instrument. My wife did. That was more fun than the "how am I going to get home?" period. That was followed by a series of tours she conducted explaining things to her audience as she went and that was followed by long discussions into mirrors.
lullie that was hilarious. not having to water fake grass. aww. yes they say and do such strange things. sometimes it can be a smile. this thread is just great for those newbies who have never seen it. trying not to be insensitive either Wolf, but some of my best smiles were those conversations in the mirror. esp the one where DH was looking at us both in the long mirror and waved and said that 'you have a wife just like mine. ' divvi
Oh Wolf, don't be concerned about being insensitive on this thread. Laughing is what this thread is about. Yes, I had to laugh too. Divvi, we've also had lots of conversations with the guy or couple in the mirror. The funniest thing with mirrors was when he was in therapy to strengthen his arms and legs. The therapist would sit him in the corner to work with him...mirrors all around on both sides. DH thought he was in a class. He would turn and talk to the people on the left then turn and talk to the people on the right. He had the therapist laughing so much it was hard for him to do the exercises. DH just laughed with him, not knowing what they were laughing about.
A few days ago I was trying to get my wife into the chair for dinner. This meant she had to take a couple of steps sideways, which she couldn't figure out. She started to sit before getting all the way in and landed on the arm of the chair, bounced onto the seat, and fell across the other arm. She has not really spoken anything but gibberish in over a year, but as she sat up again she said, very clearly, "it wasn't supposed to work that way".
marsh - I love that! Wolf - I love everything you write. A couple of weeks ago at the memory care center, I was sitting feeding my husband his dinner. The center is definitely crazy-town at dinner time due to the sundowning of the residents, but I love going there at that time. I was sitting across from a dear little old lady with whom I've always been very friendly. Halfway through dinner, she suddenly glared at me and shouted "You KNEW there was no baby here!" and then she threw her full glass of juice right into my face! The great part of it was that there was also a woman sitting at the table who hasn't spoken in the two and a half months my husband has been there. As soon as the other woman threw the juice in my face, the other woman said "She did that intentionally, you know." It really made me laugh! I said to her "Yes, she certainly did, didn't she?" Your wife's comment, marsh, reminded me of that.
I loved the juice-throwing and the comment of the other woman. I would someday like to start a thread about interesting/funny/touching moments we have experienced not just with our spouses at home, but also with the residents of LTC facilities. I've actually learned a great deal about life from the memory care center residents. And, of course, I DID know there was no baby there, but I had no idea it would be held against me! :-)
They have their moments there is no doubt because I've seen quite a few of them. Carlos bursting into opera with a beautiful voice in pants that are too big held up by suspenders and a haircut and little boy look that scriptwriters would die for. The thing is to see and to hear the music in the jazz like following the horn for a while or just the lead guitar. When we see the situation and our role and transcend them to decide the moment for ourselves - one hopes, and I am reading, that we hear our own music.
I'll tell you what I've learned from my years with LTC facilities with my father, then my mother, and now my wife. It's better out here (although good luck dropping all the anchors and chains anytime soon).
Just let a smile be your umbrella and don't make mister frown because nobody cares if you're dead inside - don't be a poop. Alrighty then.
We use to discuss lack of sex here. This is a joke 'mammie' posted on facebook.
Daughter's Vibrator
A mother was walking down the hall when she heard a humming sound coming from her daughter's bedroom. When she opened the door she found her daughter naked on the bed with a vibrator.
What are you doing?" she exclaimed.
The daughter replied, "I'm 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I'll ever get to a husband."
Later that week the father was in the kitchen and heard a humming sound coming from the basement. When he went downstairs, he found his daughter naked on the sofa with her vibrator.
"What are you doing?" he exclaimed.
The daughter replied, "I'm 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I'll ever get to a husband."
A couple of days later the mother heard the humming sound again, this time in the living room. In there, she found her husband watching the Super Bowl on television with the vibrator buzzing away beside him.
"What are you doing?" she exclaimed.
He replied............"Watching the game with my son-in-law."
I found this to be hilarious but maybe it's just a regional thing. (Like many New Englanders, I'm beyond appalled by the unpreparedness of the City of Boston.)
EDITED 4 hours later: A friend just emailed me that this funny video was removed from youtube due to a copyright claim on the music. (The background music was the violin solo of, "Ashokan Farewell," from the PBS mini-series, "The Civil War," by Ken Burns.) As the late, great Gilda Radner said, "Never mind!"