Well, I guess I have a place to sleep tonight. DH is in bed and called me - by my name - and asked if I wanted to sleep here tonight. I told him yes, I'd be in to bed in a little while. He said - Oh, good, I hoped you would stay!
Another one. We have all talked about when we are sick, not feeling good, how unhelpful our spice are. I have had the stomach bug going around here for a couple of days and have felt absolutely miserable. Last night when I got in bed, DH got up and bought me his after shave bottle and told me to put it on - that it would make me feel better! Kept insisting,so I did. Woke up smelling like my husband. Alrighty then!
I don't know if this is an “alrighty then” but I'm writing it here. When I go & visit Tom in the Veterans Home I always take him something to eat & 2 cans of diet soda. So today I made him a hot dog & grabbed 2 cans of drink out of the frig & put them in an insulated bag. When I got to the Veterans Home I gave him his hot dog & diet soda. My daughter was sitting across from me & we were talking & I absentmindedly took the other can out of the bag to give to him & my daughter's eyes got big & I looked down & it was a can of beer! Both of us burst out laughing as I quickly shoved it back in the bag. By now I have a good relationship with the aids, so I took the bag over by 2 of them & said, “I was about to give Tom his soda, but I don't think I should give him this.” & I took the can of beer out of the bag just enough so that they could see what it was. Well they also burst out laughing. Then one of them said, “Well maybe he WOULD like that instead!” So now when I take the sodas out of the frig I will pay attention to what I am doing!
Just had to share this. I asked DH to set the table for our lunch today and told him "Don't forget the napkins." He asked where they were and I told him on the counter in a basket. He asked "Over here?" I said yes, but I really didn't see where he was pointing. So when I checked to see if the table was set ok, he had very neatly placed piles of cosmetic squares I use to remove my eye makeup next to the plates! And being the former engineer that he was, he made sure each pile was balanced with the same number of squares! It was a definite LOL, but rather poignant at the same time.
Thanks for sharing this, Elaine. Isn't it amazing what they can come up with?
DH is getting worse at putting sentences together, coming up with the right words, etc. Usually I can tell what he means, but when I can't, I'll tell him I didn't hear him, or say "what", or something so that he will repeat it- and it's usually different! Anyway, the other morning was particularly hard for him and we went back and forth several times. Finally, he asked ME if I had a hearing problem! I told him no I didn't think so, but why did he ask? Very clearly, he said, "I've noticed recently you aren't hearing what I say, and asking me over and over to repeat what I say, so I think you have a hearing problem"!
After 2-3 nights of very little sleep due in part to DHs tossing, turning and talking to me in the middle of the night...also due in part to me running back and forth to help him with little problems and many, many questions, I sat down on the couch with a big sigh and said "I am so tired!". He turned to me and said "You should see the doctor about that. It seems like you're tired a lot". Alrighty then.
I have to be sure to be in the bedroom when DH is dressing. One morning he came out all dressed. The only problem is he had the Depends on over his pants. My daughter and I were choking because we were trying so hard not to laugh out loud.
blue nice to see you had a smile, I know you have been sad.
Today we had the home visit for Dado, with our wonderful VA nurse that drives 2 hours each way to be here. It has been about 6 weeks and she has seen the change in him.
After she examined him, took his vitals, asked him questions, asked us questions,- she did the motor skill tests with him as he sat in his wheelchair. He could not seem to understand when she asked him to touch his nose, so she took his arm and hand and manually lifted his finger up to touch his nose. Put his hand back on his lap, and said, now can you touch your nose like I showed you.
He grabbed her hand and touched his nose with her hand!!! Not only that but his poor nose is quite runny and she put her hand there. We could not help it, me, her, Reno his caregiver, and even Dado just roared with laughter. Then he did some really funny things with his legs, that were...not how she showed him.
I always try to tell him we are not laughing with meaness at him....but it was so funny.
Makeup pads, hearing problems that do not exist, amazement that we are tired, shadows in the night, fashion challenges, and sore paws....you can't make this up.
On one of the recent visits of our Hospice nurse. DH was laying in bed and as she bent over to listen to his lungs, he reached up and grabbed the stethoscope and put the end near his mouth and said....hello, hello, hello..... We all laughed. And she is much more careful around him now!
Blue that made me laugh right out loud! Thank you all for sharing these moments with us. I look back on some of the things Lynn did and I can not help the smile that comes. I remember once, long ago Divvi saying something her DH did was endearing, I believe it was how he talked to the man in mirror. And I remember thinking at the time, bless her heart for being able to see this as endearing! It took me a bit longer to get to where I can see these things through Divvi's eyes. Years later, these memories are not all bad, and I am remembering more and more the endearing ones. ♥
What my DW has been doing recently is just prior to us going to bed, she will take out all of her clothes from the closet and lay them on the bed and try to select an outfit for the next day. She will spend an hour or two doing this. At first I would let her go through it and help her select the right color or patterns that go together (she used to be very good at coordinating outfits and a great eye for color, but that is all gone now). What I have learned however, is in the morning she will select a completely different outfit than what she did the night before. I tell her not to spend that time at night doing it is she will only pick something else in the a.m., but it seems to be an OCD behavior. Usually, she will either put her clothes on backwards or inside out. We usually get a good laugh at this, especially when it involves a hoodie.
aww all these stories are indeed too odd for us to make up. (((Nikki))) I still find them endearing even the ones from every one here.! we just cant be afraid of the loss in their abilities, or it makes it so much more difficult to adjust. 'blue the paw story was cute. we just need to try to see the humor in the adjustments for just about every phase of this horrible disease. if it makes us or them smile its all good:) nikki dear -I so wish I could talk to the man in the mirror today. its been 2 yrs now since then and no more walking talking or waving to the mirror people. aww. but I still get smiles and soft rubs on my arm from the hospital bed. its almost as good and its now my good memories for today. divvi
Well hell, that made me cry Divvi. I have always admired your strength and your will to see the best. You have been a great mentor my friend ♥ I see these moments as endearing too, I think perhaps it comes with the progression of the disease and has a lot to do with the gentling of our hearts. We have lost so much, we cling to what we do still have. I am thankful you still get the smiles, I know how much they mean. And the soft rubs on your arm, precious. *more tears*
I was saying on another thread that Dianne would get up in the middle of the night and wander around doing things like 'rearranging' her closet. It reminded me of the night I woke up hearing a strange and pitiful moaning. Not distress. I listened to be sure I was hearing something because it was faint.
So I got up and went into her (our) bedroom and there she was on the floor in a quandry with at least ten different sets of clothes in various states of being 'on' including over her head and tangled in her arms, laying in a large pile of half her closet.
"I see you're busy. I can come back." I might have said I don't remember.
10 days ago I went shopping for some "new" clothes to wear on my trip to FL to see my dying friend. Usually when we go my hb and his aide shop but I just look. This time I really needed to buy a few new things, so I left them and started shopping on my own in the intimates department. About 10 minutes a sales woman found me and said that the rest of my party was looking for me and I could find them in the ladies dept in the front of the store. When I got to the place they were supposed to be waiting for me they weren't there. Another sales person said she would find them. When I met up with them again, apparently my hb (size XL) had put on a womens size small or medium blouse over his clothes and could not get out of it. He kept screaming "get me out of this" until after several minutes 2 sales people and the aide were able to extricate him from the blouse. I'm sorry I missed the show (which was quite considerable), but in another way I'm glad I wasn't there so I can still shop shamelessly the next time.
We watch a lot of soccer on television. This afternoon we were watching the Confederation cup soccer match between Spain and Italy. At the end of regulation time, the score was tied at 0, so I knew it was going to be going into an extra 30 minutes. I got up to go to the bathroom, knowing that the break was going to be short. I barely got in there with my pants down when I hear screaming from my DH " Bonnie you need to get out here right away and see this - there has been a major pile up!" Not knowing exactly what he meant,(was there an accident out on the road?) I rushed through my bathroom duties and came out to the living room. He said " there must have been a big pile up, because there are at least 5 players down on the pitch getting medical attention!, but they haven't shown the pile up on the telecast". One look told me that what he was looking at was not some altercation on the soccer pitch, but the players, resting on the field and getting some of their sore muscles tended to before the overtime started!. I managed not to laugh, and didn't have the heart to tell him what he was really looking at!
Was at the mall yesterday with husband. As he was shuffling along with this cane he spotted the Air Force Recruitment Office. Husband opens the door and speaks with the recruiter asking him if he could apply? Watching though the window the young airman's face was priceless!
I don't know where to put this, so I'll add to this thread. Last week was our 36th anniversary, which I mentioned while visiting Steve at the ALF. Of course, to the caregiving staff (mostly whom are in their 20's) a 36-year marriage is an eternity. One commented on that, so I replied "Well, I was 3 when I married him." Steve started laughing heartily, so I added "and Steve was 6". That made him laugh even more, the staff joined in, tickled at seeing him laugh that way. A few good moments of happiness are always welcomed.
I got up tonight after my H went to bed and he peeked around the corner and told me that the computer was broken and I needed to look at it. There was a cord unplugged but that is not why I am writing. He looked like he had taken a shower! He has not taken a shower in MONths! I asked him if he had taken a shower and he said "yes" and I don't know why but I asked him "why?" He said " the computer was broke and he didn't have anything better to do" I laughed so hard, I haven't had a good laugh like that in a looong time!
Dazed's post reminds me of my favorite Alzheimer story.
For reasons unknown, the husband became extremely amorous and loving with his dear caregiver/wife. He took her in his arms, kissed her gently and he murmured the sweetest words she had heard in a very long time. Soon, he suggested they go into the bedroom. It was totally surreal, because it had been over two years since he had shown such affection toward her.
They enjoyed the sweetest lovemaking and she was resting in his arms, basking in the afterglow. Suddenly, he raised up and said, "Oh my goodness, you need to get dressed. My wife will be coming home any minute!"
The other day we got a phone call from someone (we do business with them from time to time) asking for DH. I told them he had AZ and was unable to communicate or talk on the phone, could I help, she said she needed to talk to DH. This went back and forth for a bit. Finally the caller said she would call back later. I wanted to slap my forehead.
A week or so ago. DH was in the bathroom, standing at the toilet. He did not know I was at the door. He said to no one but himself. "I wish I had a bigger one" I had to walk away........
Next time try saying that your husband is dead and see if they will call back later. OK, maybe not so smart if you do business with them.
One time, after my mother died, someone called our home and asked for my mother (telemarketer). Was very insistent. My father offered to go to the cemetery and dig her up. Ended the call real fast.
My husband has been gone for over three years. I still get mail wanting him to renew various memberships. Telemarketers asking for him drive me nuts. When they call for him I ask if I can help. When they say no-they need to speak to Bill I finally got up the courage to say-HE'S DEAD!! Sometimes their responses are really funny.
But, bluedaze, do they quit calling? My sister-in-law died almost 20 years ago, and we still get mail for her. I've tried everything I can think of, but I can't get them to stop sending it. We've moved three times since she died, but they keep up with our current address somehow. It's all from groups wanting money.
Janet-some of them keep coming. I hang up on the calls and trash the mail without opening. A while ago an envelope from a credit card I never had came to each of us. Something made me open them this time. Inside each was a small check-the result of a class action suit against Travelers' checks. I took them to the bank in person because I didn't believe they were legit. Reminds me-don't take your spouses' name off joint checking accounts. I couldn't have deposited the check if I had.
Bluedaze is correct! I still have a small joint account with my late husband. I occasionally get a check made out to him from one of his former investments, and I can deposit it without any questions asked.
Jim is having a terrible time with aphasia. His search for word substitutes sometimes results in a strange haiku-like poetry. A few days ago, he wanted to use "fart" in a sentence, couldn't find it, and came up with "poop wind." Alrighty then, close enough!
Just a little levity tonight. DH just informed me that he is not going to leave here tomorrow to go home, that he does not want to travel tomorrow. (We are home). And, further, that they make the best coffee here!
I told him that was fine with me - that I like the coffee, too. However, if any of you want to take him for the weekend, I'll see if he will travel!
Vickie if I was closer I would surely take him for a bit to give you some time out! that's a wonderful testament to your caring he doesn't want to leave:) I like my coffee too!! take care friend. divvi
Steve is Stage 7/on hospice/supposed to stay in wheelchair because of fall risk, etc. New recreational therapist at ALF said to me the other day "I didn't know your husband could stand!" I asked her what she meant and she responded "I played the Star Spangled Banner and Steve bolted upright out of the wheelchair and stood up. Coincidence??? Who knows!
Marilyn, I don't think it's a coincidence. Rich salutes every flag when we're out (no military service) and when he hears the Star Spangled Banner on TV, he stands and puts his hand over his heart. I chalk it up to all those sporting events (hockey, baseball, basketball, football,etc) he attended or watched on TV. Sometimes he even removes his hat!
When I woke up today my H was asleep and I found toilet paper along the baseboard and it had bug spray all over it and it led out the front door. I think he has some kind of bug fixation because when he is outside all he does is kill flies and he says he is feeding them to the big ants! {{{shrug}}}