Well, as I've stated elsewhere, Jeff is confabulating to beat the band lately. Recently Rick Steves (the host of the PBS travel series) has been, in Jeff's mind, the purveyor of all things bad. (Poor Rick Steves, he has no idea.) For example, if Jeff's bottom hurts he blames it on his "Rick Steves pants." When there was a lot of loud tree work going on on our street yesterday, it was the "Rick Steves Tree Company."
Today, our grass cutting people came for the first time this year. They are SJR Lawncare. Afterwards, it was shower time, and Jeff found his blue jeans to be lumpy as he was pulling them on. "These are SJR pants," he said. Apparently, the torch of bad things has been passed along. Rick Steves can relax now.
(meanwhile, it's time for me to find Jeff some easier to wear pants than jeans.)
And let me just add this: Jeff is busy "reading Googles," which are invisible messages he finds written everywhere...the floor, his pants, the road, etc. The latest one informed him that eating "nose dirt" (aka boogies) has the same nutritional content as apples. Thought you'd want to know.
My DH is in a Nursing home. Most of the time, he just rambles on constantly about whatever. When I get there, I always say "How about a kiss?" He alway put his lips up and I give him a small kiss. Today when I kissed him, he said "You can do better than that" After I finished laughing, I gave him another kiss.
Here's the wiki (free encyclopedia on the internet maintained by volunteers):
A flash mob (or flashmob) is a group of people who assemble suddenly in a public place, perform an unusual and seemingly pointless act for a brief time, then disperse, often for the purposes of entertainment, satire, and artistic expression. (usually arranged over their cellphones)
Here is a flashmob arranged in an ordinary shopping mall that might very well touch your heart. If you don't know how to cut and paste these addresses just type 'help' here and I'll give a step by step. This features a handel chorus
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXh7JR9oKVE
If you didn't before, now you know what a flash mob is. They're doing them all over the world.
Here is the annual no pants subway ride caught in NYC.
I am having a hard time getting Lloyd to take a drink and wash his pills down. I put them in his mouth and give him a sip or 2 and ask if they're down. He says yes and proceeds to chew them up and make the most awful face. He will eat anything I feed to him. He has always disliked rice and shrimp and clam chowder and eats them all now. Go figure!
I had to laugh. Usually, when DH does something not right and it's funny, I can keep from laughing, but today it just hit me and I cracked up.
He was sitting across the room in recliner, I was on the loveseat and had the remote. TV was on. He lifted his arm and pointed it at the TV and was moving his fingers. I didn't really notice until he said, "what's the matter with this, I can't get anything." He thought he had the remote! Actually, he does better with his fingers than the remote - at least it doesn't mess up Dish!
Today it was a Jackie Gleason day...."one of these days Alice, POW right in the kisser....To the moon Alice. "(JOKINGLY) THIS AM: I'm in the shower and I hear our door open alarm go off.. I leapt out of the shower to discover dw has snitched the towels and my bathrobe. Dripping, I throw on a pair of shorts and find her in the trash room just down the hall from our apt. putting all the towels down the trash shoot. The master bath has 10 bath & hand towels guepst bath has 6 set into the dumpster below --down into 8 floors of accumulated garbage. One of our handy men retrieved them, a real good guy. I had tipped him heavily at Xmas, he wouldn't take a dime for pulling these out ans hauling them to the laundry room wash sink. He just kept saying such a nice lady so sad. Spent the the AM doing multi loads of wash. Mixed emotions about using top mounted security lock when I'm in the shower, that could impede access if I'm in a help I've fallen situation, but hence forth the bathroom shower door gets locked. There was a new addition to this behavior. She took my unread newspapers and tossed then too. No morning coffee on the terrace reading the papers today grrrrrrrrrr. DON'T PLAY WITH MY MORNING PAPERS"...... TO THE MOON DW. LOL
nelsons can you put a lock on the bedroom door and keep her within eye sight from the bathroom while you shower? its what i did. at least i knew he couldnt get out while i was busy. keep your cell phone within reach when you shower. and leave a key to the bedroom hanging on a nail or such outside of the area you lock. i swear they seem to WAIT til we are occupied to make a run to get into trouble. i am glad you recovered the towels. nothing a couple of washloads wont fix. put a lock on those cabinets too! seems she loves towels. or better yet get her set to mess with! and leave them out for her to find. :)
its always a worry if something happens to us, but leaving a key with someone, even a neighbor or relative to check would work.
Divvi. Thks for the tips. Planting her in the locked bedroom in front of the TV should work for the few moments necessary. Re cell phone. I always used to put it on top of the toilet where I could reach out of the shower and grab it. Then came the day I forgot to put the lid down on the toilet seat. Cell phones are very poor swimmers
Living in a condo there is always a key at the front desk and an ER call button, assuming one or the other of us is capable of pushing it. Most of pur neighbors are snow birds. By May there will only be 8 unis out of 96 occupied by a tight knit group of year 'rounders. It's like living in your own private ocean front resort. Best security is all the door personnel (24x7) know DW, her photo is posted at all access points " don't allow out unattended" We've had only two employees leave in the 10 years we"ve lived here, they know DW & I on a far more personal level than one would expect. Thanks again
well then, put that cell phone on a hanger OVER the toilet where you can reach:)))))) oh i know all about swimming phones. if shes at all like most of our AD spouses they do love their sweets. give her a candy bar or treat to eat at the time shes in front of the tv to occupy her.
Went to six months appt. with neuro doc. He was giving the usual tests and asked dh to draw a clock. DW drew a grandfather clock complete with face, hands, numbers and all. Doc's only comment "interesting".
Today is the Kentucky Derby. That means mint juleps and Derby Pie! Was watching the pre-derby coverage and DH asked if we were going. Told him no, not this year - we've been prior. After a few minutes he said, "Well, remind me next time, since you've never been." Guess I have something to look forward to next year! NOT. But I think that's an Alrighty Then moment. LOL
ha vickie i would love to go with you then!! what a fantastic finish! wow loved this years race. that horse came outta nowhere!! mint julep. umm.. send some over please!
So we go to McDonalds for lunch & DH went into the restroom & I stayed close to the door. He was in there longer then normal & I thought about going in there because I didn't see any other men go in there, when all of a sudden I heard him yell my name. I cracked the door open & as he came out he said, “That guy in there was going to kill me.” I told him that I didn't think anyone was going to kill him & he said, “Well he looked like he was mad at me.” It was then that I realized that he was talking about the “man in the mirror.” It took all I had not to laugh out loud.
If we don't chuckle to ourselves, there is something wrong with US. Took dh to the dentist. The dental practice is in an old house. When we were leaving and walking through the foyer, dh saw himself in the mirror and said, "Bye there." Didn't realize it was himself.
ElaineH--your story reminded me of the time we went out to dinner, I took DH in with me to the ladies room. When he saw himself in the mirror, he said "How are you doing" and smiled. Then, when we came out, he told me he had seen a guy he knew. At that point, it was funny. Later on, at home he started conversations with the man in the mirror, but it got to the stage that the image in the mirror angered him--that meant it was time for new meds. Now, he is oblivious to mirrors--just a with everything else, there is a progression.
A few times recently when we ride in our van I see him look out the window & smile & sometimes give the 2 thumbs up to someone, I finally figured out that it was the “guy” in the rear view mirror. However, I think his mood with that “guy” depends on the expression on his face, because once he got upset & asked me who the “guy” was, because he said the “guy” had a mean look on his face & was angry with him. So I guess it will start soon with the mirrors in the bathroom. Marilyn, was it you who had to cover up all the mirrors in the house? I remember someone saying that because their DH got upset what he saw the guy in the mirror. & yes I know it's only a Stage & “this too shall pass.”
Yes, Elaine, I did cover the mirrors and took down artwork that had reflective glass, covered as many windows as possible, etc. This helped for a few mos., but then non-compliance with personal care entered the picture, and thus, geripsych unit was the solution. I don't want to scare you--your husband may not go that route.
my dear husband would see his /our reflection in the mirrors and tell the 'guy 'his wife was pretty. this was an obvious bonus for me:)) sometimes they can be very endearing and give us a smile.
I don't know what I said to DH,but he wagged his finger at me and said, "You wait 'til my mother gets here,she'll straighten you out,Missy".Alrighty then.
So, Lynn beamed when he saw me in the doorway, just as he does every day. As always he said something beautiful to me, today it was “ it is so So good to see you! I love you all the way through”
I then leaned down for a kiss, just as I do every day.
Except today, Lynn “slipped me the tongue!”
HOLY COW!!! LOL
I was a bit more than shocked and couldn’t stop my exclamation of “Lynn!”
He mildly replies with an innocent “What?”
I decided to ignore it. He puckered up for another kiss, so I leaned in, and yep! He did it again!!
So this time giggling I said “Hey now! what do you think you’re doing?”
With a sparkle in his eye, and all cool and macho man style said “ You’re my wife right? …. Reeelaaaax”
Cracked me up! And is still making me chuckle. Alrighty Then!
Hay Shirley, I can identify with that " by there" to the person in the mirror...I don't recognize me either anymore..In my mind's eye I look like I did when I was 30 something..not like a dented, tarnished trophy wife that I am now.
Two weeks ago wife came out of the bathroom just before bed with a pasty white coating on her face. She couldnt say what it was and even denied it was there. She has never used make up or cold creams so I am not used to her having anything covering her face.
I took her back into the bathroom to clean off whatever it was and turns out it was TOOTHPASTE(!) Thankfully she has not put toothpaste on her face again. . . .
Anxiety and crying is our current problem and for whatever reason she is calmed by going for a ride in a car. Sometimes she will pull me (or the home care aides) to the car in the driveway to just sit in it hoping that we wanted to drive somewhere. Not understanding (and sometimes becoming angry) that there is no place to go.
On Friday night I noticed that our 20 y/o cat was not sleeping on wife's pillow as she always does. (but we got 6 cats and I got better things to do than search for them) Next I noticed that the 20 y/o cat was not lined up waiting for breakfast the next morning but again I have more to think about than a cat.
Saturday meant that it was shopping time and it is always easier for wife to go in the morning. So we go out to the car and (SURPRISE!) find the missing cat on the front seat crying(!) Fortunately it was shopping day or the little thing wouda been locked in all day in the heat and I woudda had a more to clean up than just one little 'gift' on the seat. Not the cats fault, but something else I gotta look out for.
DH just got in bed. I'm in the next room on the computer. He asked me if I slept in his bed. I said yes, I'll be in a little later. He said, " well, that's good, because I don't want any of those other women in this bed with me". Alrighty, then!
Today I made my daily visit to the ALF, and after a while, it was time to leave. So I said the same thing I always do "I'm need to go to the bathroom honey." DH replied "I need to go too." So we walked to his room--no aides around--so I helped him do both things. While I was wiping his bottom, he suddenly started shaking it and dancing! Do you know how hard it is to wipe someone's bottom while they're moving it around? And you're both cracking up laughing? I think he's really happy I'm back from vacation.
More competition in the romance arena: Jeff's brother was visiting him at the ALF. Another resident, Mary, stopped Gordon (my bro-in-law) as he walked Jeff along the hallway. "Who are you?" she asked. Gordon explained that he was Jeff's brother. Mary then asked him, somewhat conspiratorially, whether Gordon could arrange for her to have some "private time" alone with Jeff. Gordon didn't respond in a very meaningful way, as he was perplexed by this request, but Mary gave him a sort of wink of acknowledgement as he was leaving, that more or less said "we have an agreement, right?"