My DH uses the voice dial on his cell phone rather than try to find who he is looking for in his contacts. He says "call xxx mobile 1".The other day he was going to call his brother and into the voice dialer he said "call Terry.com" I cracked up and when I told him what he said he got a goofy grin on his face. Then he said that he wished he could think of something funny to say. Told him he already had.
HBO currently has a movie running called "Too Big To Fail", about the financial meltdown caused by the housing crisis of 2008. We started watching it several nights ago and it literally put me to sleep. DH, on the other hand, was fascinated by it and watched the whole thing. This movie was so dry and so confusing that they even had to put up captions to tell you who the characters were (and DH no longer reads). However, he was a CPA and I'm sure the mention of all the big investment firms and banks by name, as well as the stock tickers, etc. sparked his interest. This is going to be my go-to movie whenever I want to entertain him and I can do something else!
So....today we drove to town, made 2 stops and then headed home. Hb was sitting in the back seat behind the front passenger seat. For some reason of late he's preferred to sit in back seat. That's okay because if I leave him in the van for a minute, I can engage the childproof lock. I decided to drive through the car wash....now, don't get ahead of me.
Usually, while van is being washed, I don't start engine, but turn it to "accessory" and turn on the windshield wipers for a second to "scrub" windows. I did that today. Didn't turn accessory off when I stopped wipers. Hb's been drinking water from a bottle someone left in the van last night--probably a friend of granddaughter's because she borrowed the van. He kept the lid in his mouth apparently (I determined this later) as he keeps marbles in his mouth when he's able to spirit them there unseen. (You see tho' dementia reigns supreme, it hasn't eliminated sneakiness.)
Suddenly, I hear this "Umh! Umh! Umh!" from the back of the van. The door is open and water is spraying into the van and showering hb (and it's not even Friday, his shower day). For unknown reasons, he opened the door. When I turned, I got sprayed in my face. Then, in my haste to close that door, I inadvertently pushed the button to open the other back door! Quickly punched both buttons again, and the doors closed. Sometimes one doesn't latch, but thankfully today it did. It knew better than to defy me.
Both of us laughed and laughed. I'd had another stop I wanted to make, but that would have to wait. I can only deal with small bits of disconnect at a time.
Yesterday DH called me over to tell me something. He began laying out strips of toilet paper that he fold and unfolds all day and began a story that had me in stitches. He ran his hand over them carefully and began telling me that these were the finest ever made and it was done very carefully by "the people" and that they needed to be treated with care. Went on and on for some time with this story. Finally had to make an excuse to leave so he would see me laughing. He was sooo serious.
This weekend while visiting my husband at the assisted living home, I walked into the living room to find him sitting on the couch holding his slipper to his ear, the other arm folded and holding his elbow. I think he was on hold.
What is it that is so intriguing to these LO's tearing and stacking squares of toilet paper? I noticed dh had placed a stack of them on the back of the toilet. I asked him and all he could say was "I know what I'm doing so leave them alone." My dh was always a very neat person and a little on the obc side so maybe this is a carryover.
Here we have the cutting and stacking of paper towels......they are neatly placed on the table next to his recliner.He always reminds me they are there should I ever need one. They must be cut with scissors, no tearing,they are halves of the half p. towels.!!!!
We have gone through that with TP, paper towels, napkins etc....we have stacks all over the house and he says that it is for "the people" and me. I wish the people would go home!!!! I also found I had to go to plain paper towel and napkins as he would get confused with the designs.
I got an urge to clean out the vanity in DH bathroom and found dozens of small bottle caps.. I ask what they were for and he said,ya never know when you need one that size.... alrighty then.... I threw those out and am now waiting for something else that will be in short supply.... soon I believe they are obsessed with a momentary idea and cannot remember what it was...As someone said on another blog,, the wires are not always connected...
Hey peggy-bottle caps may be like one earring. You never know when you will need one or the lost earring turns up after you've thrown out the one you still have. :-D
omg now I'm scared, I have a little box of misc caps in my bathroom vanity also. And have actually used some from time to time. (I am not a hoarder either)
You're scared? Now I realize "we" have been amassing corks from wine bottles in case we need one. Naturally there are never two the same size. If I toss the whole mess out do you think that is when I will need one?
DH loves honey mustard in the squeeze bottle and puts it on almost everything. This morning I opened the FREEZER - and there was his mustard bottle! I asked him why he put it in the freezer and he said, "I like my MAYO COLD!
Vicki, I think that OTHER person that lives here ate it...I did question but always got "don't know" or I didn't do it" or "I have no idea what you're talking about"... Life is a riddle, isn't it? especially this life...
Just got back from eating lunch out. I left the table to get another plate of food. And when I got back my fork and knife were gone. The waitress had taken my old plate along with my fork. I'm sure DH told her I was done. When I asked where it was he said you only get a fork with a potato......I had not ordered a potato so no fork, he had ordered a potato so he had a fork....
bout a year or so ago LO an I were eating in a bar an I noticed her eating a baked potatoe with a spoon,when I asked her why she was using spoon she told me"cause I can't enough on my damn knife" made sense.....to her
I guess this belongs under the "Alrighty Then" category:
After tending to an emergency with my father and a bunch of errands, I came home to Sid in his usual place - sitting in his lounger in the den. I mentioned that I had a million more things to do, and he couldn't comprehend why I had so much to do. When I listed it all, including taking care of him, he said - " I'm no trouble. You give orders and I do what you tell me."
Hope you laughed, Joan, I did:) My hb doesn't talk much sense these days, but yesterday he said, "I'm tired of you telling me what not to do all the time." I nicely responded, "I'm tired of having to tell you what not to do." Not very nice of me and both our statements were made w/o emotion. HOWEVER, I AM very tired of asking/telling him not to do something, not to move something, not to pour my iced tea in a plate, not to take the dog on his lap and let her eat from his plate....Sorry, I forgot this is the humor thread.
Just the other day I had to tell my wife (again) to not to fill the cats water dishes with soda pop. It was a hot day and she felt they needed a cold drink. . . . .
I have the same type of problem with my husband. We are watching my daughter's cat while she is on vacation. He is on a prescription food and his intake is highly regulated. Everytime his bowl is empty, I catch my husband trying to give him cereal or broken up chips (I hid the cat's food from both my husband and the cat) because he thinks the bowl should never be empty.
When visiting LO at ALF I always bring her a box of Snaps those little licorice candies that she loves,last week daugther went with me an had brought two bags of them,after eating a few daugther took the rest an went to put them in LO's dresser when an aide told her LO was not allowed candy in her room,I was upset about that an was going to question director when daugther sqaid I'll go find out what the problem is,few minutes later she came back an told me it was taken care of so I assumed it was a mistake,when we got out to the car she told me the reason for the "new" rule,seems an aide had taken LO into the shower an while they were giving her her shower noticed Snaps falling to the floor of the shower,seems she had hidden them in the only place she had,I may be somewhat a fault here as the time before she put a handful on the top of her dresser an I told her to put them back in the box,is there anything that surprises me anymore?
A couple of weeks ago, my husband was preparing his usual breakfast (and also lunch) two slices of raisin toast with butter and strawberry marmelade. Unfortunately we had run out of the marmelade. I apologized and told him I would be going to the store later and would pick up a few jars, but that he might just need to make do with butter only. He proceeded to check the pantry, then the refrigerator, then the pantry again, etc. I realized it was a bit quiet in the kitchen and walked in to find him spreading KETCHUP on the toast. My husband absolutely HATES ketchup! I was going to stop him and then my son advised to just let him be. My son was trying not to laugh and it was a bit pathetic to see my husband grimace when he put that toast in his mouth. If we ever have some type of nuclear disaster, I must remember to have several jars of strawberry marmelade in our emergency kit!
Elaine, your story reminds of the time we ran out of peanut butter and I caught my husband pouring crystal lite lemonade powder onto his bread and trying to spread it. I have no idea why that seemed ok to him.
DH asked me this morning what I was going to do today. Told him I had to pay some bills, then would run some errands. He replied, "Well, I guess the best thing I can do is just stay out of your way." YES!!
DH got out clean clothes ready to have a shower..when I thought he'd finished and dressed I went and checked on him..and thought, "they look like the same clothes as yesterday"..right enough, in the laundry basket were the clean ironed clothes...Ok, I just hung them back in the closet!
Have to tell this. My birthday was TG day. DH wasn't aware of it until I got several BD cards on Wednesday. Then he got upset because he didn't have a card for me and insisted we go out so he could get one. Took him to the nearest drug store, parked. When he didn't start to get out, I said do you want me to help you get out? He said, "I'll wait for you."!
I keep the birthday, anniversary, valentine's day cards--the one's from me to my husband and those from him to me. On the appropriate day each year I take the card out and after several days put it away again to use next year.
Vickie, that sounds like something my DH would do. He was helping me look for something that was lost several days ago and every few minutes he would say "Now what is it we're looking for?" Lori, that's a smart thing to do since they don't remember getting the card before.
Just like mine, Dazed. Lost his wallet the other day but couldn't remember what we were looking for. Actually, I had washed it! I told him I had to order new "cards" for him and he hasn't even missed it or mentioned it since. We'll see how long this goes! I do the same for his cards, but even though I save mine - he always wants to pick it out and sign it.
This morning I used the Swifter on the kitchen floor, then DH wanted to do it. So, I gave it to him and walked to the den. I came back in and he had his cane in one hand and was using the Swifter in the other! He rarely uses his cane in the house. Asked him why he was using it and he said, "It's easier to walk on 3 legs"! Alrighty then!
Today I was reading some entries in my journal and found this one.
Today Marv picked up the remote control for the tv and put it to his ear and said, Hello, hello, very loud. He waited a moment, then handed it to me and said, ....."..it's for you". Heeeeee heee heeeeeeeee! I'm still giggling as I write this.
Had an interesting episode at dinner tonight. My wife seemed to be just poking at her food with her fork, but not eating. I would try to "prime the pump" by putting a fork-ful in her mouth, but she would just go back to pushing the food around on the plate. After too long I noticed that she was using her left hand for the fork, and she is right-handed. I tried "priming the pump" again, this time making sure she took the fork with her right hand. With that she started eating and finished most of her meal.
oh yes, most definately marsh. if DH has any food in his left hand he just crumbles it into his fist. he will put it to his mouth with his right hand if i show him how. everything goes with this disease:(