Forgive me if this topic has been covered. I am driving myself crazy thinking I am coming down with the disease. I know I am super stressed, just trying to live life for two people along with the overwhelming financial concerns, the frustrations, the heartbreak, the shock etc. I can't seem to concentrate on one train of thought and I feel like my mind is in a fog. I drove past my exit on the freeway because my mind can't slow down. I can practically do the entire mmse from memory, but I still am so frightened of potentially developing this awful condiditon and the burden it would place on my children. Have any of you gone through this fearful stage?
Hello Beth, I don't remember whether this topic has been covered but I'm sure with you on this one. As caregivers we are all on overload most of the time and I hope that is the reason for our forgetfulness, our inability at times to find the right word in a conversation, tossing and turning in bed with the mind racing and trying to keep ahead of things. I have often found myself wondering where I am while out driving. So far I have always been able to figure it out pretty quickly but it is concerning. I too know the MMSE and often in bed will count backwards in 7's from 100. It is possible, of course, for both spouses to have the disease or some form of dementia however it is probably unlikely. ( At least that's what I tell myself!)
Sounds like you're undergoing a massive stress attack. When we're this stressed, and our brain is having to do the work for two people, along with everything else you mentioned, including the finances, which are a HUGE stressor, it is understandable that we lose concentration. Then we start worrying about getting AD ourselves. I'm sure most of us have gone through that "fearful stage" you mention.
When I get so overwhelmed and stressed that I can't think straight - my head is just a jumble of a million thoughts bumping into one another - I sit down and make a master list of what needs to be done. Then I divide it into categories (finances, tutoring work, website work, etc.); then I prioritize, and plan what will be done for the week. And truthfully, sometimes I am so stressed, I take a Xanax. It calms me down enough so I can make the lists.
I am so glad this topic was started; also to know these things I do are done by other caregivers. I also go thru this "do I have AD too". I even went two years ago and was tested. The neuroligist said no, just stress. But I always quietly worry they might be wrong and my children would have two of us with this unfornute AD. But its something we all may go thru makes me feel so much better. Joan, thanks again and again for rescueing me from that "O" blog I was on. That one is no comparison to the comfort and knowledge that I receive here. Thanks for sharing and GOD bless you, PAT
I am 46, and have no family history. It is highly improbable that my memory is in any way impaired. But, since having a 60 yo AD spouse...yes--I start to question my memory too! I think we develop a little bit of AD-specific hypochondria as a result of being in this caregiver position, and finding that so much is riding on our ability to cope. My pov is that I almost expect all of you to have these same fears occasionally.
What you are describing is quite common and has a name. It's called CD or Caregiver Dementia. It's not a medical term but it certainly occurs. And it's almost always stress, stress & more stress. And those of us who have been AD caregivers live with that 24/7. There are a dozen reasons why someone forgets & most of the time it is not AD. Recently I took a wrong turn at night and was really lost. Well, not exactly lost, I knew where I was but I wasn't where I wanted to be. I thought if anything happened, someone would think that I had dementia. But I was just distracted and mixed up the freeway off-ramp. I wish AD were not called a 'disease of forgetting.' It frightens people needlessly. Everyone forgets something sometimes, that's normal.
There are distinct differences between normal forgetting and a brain condition like AD. If you forget where you left your keys, that's normal; if you forget what your keys are for, that's a problem. If you lose your car at the mall, that's normal, but if you come out of a store and take a bus home, that could be a problem.
If you are taking care of your daily needs, then you are OK. As many of you know, the AD loved one cannot be responsible for his daily needs. If you forget an appointment, but later remember and make a new appointment, you're OK. You forgot for the moment, but when you later recall what you forgot, that's normal. As times goes on, the AD patient doesn't remember what he forgot, even when he is prodded, shown photos, etc. The memory is lost--not forgotten--but lost. And if it's lost, it cannot be recalled.
None of us know when AD may strike--and lots of other terrible things as well. Until you are 85, statistics say you will be OK, then you have a 50/50 chance either way. Sometimes we are forgetful, needing more time to find the answers, but it's not always the beginning of AD. And, yes, I have thought the same thing about myself, but I know I was never like my husband was for decades before the bizarre behaviors came out. I just wish I'd known then what I have since learned about him & AD.
Bettyhere gave my answer. I will add one thing I read recently, of which I am very guilty. Multitasking, slow down and do one thing at a time. Yea I know impossible. Multitasking does not allow the brain to store the memory. Now where are my keys?
You know, one of the things they test our spouses for to rule out other possible causes of the memory dysfunction is B12 deficiency. I wonder if due to all of the extra stress we are under that we don't become deficient in this. One of my new year's resolutions is to take vitamins. I haven't started it yet. But I'm definately gonna get some B12 supplements. We'll see what happens.
Leighanne, ditto, I resolved the same but procrastinating. Today is Jan 15th. We need to start today with the vitamins and supplements. I am so glad to know we can remind and promote each other to take better care of each other. It is odd how my vitamins are right next to my LO's meds and vits., and I give him his twice a day and my vitamin 7 day case sits there prepared and unopened. Will try to improve with that. Thanks for sharing, Pat
Just to add to the vitamin discussion, I understand that the sublingual vitamin B 12 is best as it is absorbed instantly. I have been taking it for about a year, that is on days that I remember. Like the rest of you, I have a cupboard full of vitamins but don't always take them while making sure that my husband gets them. Have to do better in 2008!
Last year was really a stressful year for me. I had to make the heartwrenching decision to put my ADLO in a NH, he was in and out of Neuro-Psych 2 or 3 times last year and then he was having problems walking and fell and broke his hip. This was all in about a 6 mo span. Talk about having memory problems, I felt like I was walking around in a real fog. Nothing felt clear in my mind. I was putting things where they did not belong, etc. It is a scary thing and you imagine all kinds of things happening to you. But, to top it all off, towards the end of the year, my daughter was going through a divorce and her and the two little ones, ages two and three years old moved in with me. I love my daughter and my two little angels, but, as we all know, things can get pretty challenging at times. My daughter and I worked together and managed to get through all of our 2007 challenges.
Back to the topic of Vitamins, around November of last year I decided that I needed to do something and fast. I did research on the internet on B-Complex Vitamins, etc. and also talked with my doctor about this. What I came up with is that "Stress" can cause a Vitamin B shortage in your body. My doctor recommended I take a "Super B-Complex" and also I take one of those Vitamin B-12 dots. They are absorbed instantly and yes, I do see a big difference in my energy level and my thinking. The stress is still there of course, but, I feel I have more energy and clearer thinking to deal with it.
I let myself really get run down the last 3 to 4 years , but, my Resolution for 2008 is to try my best to take better care of myself. So, I will try to exercise more, walk, eat better, etc.. I would say I would try to cut down on my stress level this year, but, we all know that will probably not happen. This AD Journey we are all on will wear the Care Giver down to nothing also if we let it. I know this was happening to me when I decided that I am not going to let that happen, and I was not going to become another victim of this AD Journey. I know I have to be here for my wonderful husband during this long journey, so, that is when I really took this seriously. I read in my AARP magazine an article on AD and the AD Care Giver and it stated that the Care Giver has a very good chance of going before the AD patient with this disease, because of the high level of stress involved. It was a wake-up call for me !!! Hopefully, I can get my health and energy level back the way it should be, but, only time will tell. I know that I am sure going to give it a good try and that is all I can do. I know alot of this is easier said than done dealing with what we encounter day in and day out, but, personally, I know I better do something.
ell while we are on taking care of the caregiver, I will tell what I have found. The last two weeks of Dec. I put my back out twice. Each time it took about 4-5 days to recover. I decided I needed to find someway of exercising that I could do without leaving the house. I have not been able to leave for the last 2-3 months without Gene having an anxiety attack. I even have to be in the same room much of the time. I saw a mini trampoline on sale, Jan 2. It is working! I have worked from 2 min up to 11 min. I do other exercises, stretches, weighted ball, hand weights and bands, for a total of 30-35 mins. I feel stronger and better mentally already. I have a bad knee and it doesn't hurt it.
Barbarakay, You go girl, That is so awesome. Its way past Jan 1st, but I am just getting kicked into my resolution to vitamin up and exercise more. And after getting rid of my treadmill, climber, stepper, and bike, I am left w/ the mini trampoline which I have found to be fantastic in the past. Having ceramic floors, the trampoline gives me the bounce to walk or run in place or twisting (Chubby Checker style) which I had beneficial results in the past. Keep up the good work. You deserve to feel better. Thanks for sharing PAT
Absolutely we neglect ourselves when caring for our ADLO. I know I did and I've paid the price. In the beginning, one doc gave my husband ginko biloba and, while it did not help him, I began to take it myself. For a few months, nothing happened and then one day it was as if my mind had cleared. I didn't get any smarter, didn't remember more, but things were just more clear. Not everyone agrees, but I think it really worked for me.
The other thing is, ladies, get your mammograms! Don't do it like your resolutions for taking vitamins. If you need one now, call for an appointment as soon as you finish reading this. Again, additional stress can do strange things to your body, it's not just a matter of being forgetful from time to time, it can be physical, too. And, yes, many AD caregivers die before their peers, about 15%.
Okay Betty, do you know me or what, I have been putting off mammogram and physical. I had one 2 yrs ago right before I quit working. But no hospitalization anymore. I haven't seen a doctor since then for anything. Thank God I feel okay but I know I should go. Yes I know we need to take care of ourselves. That's why I need to stay taking my vitamins, drinking more water and eating healthy. Thanks for the reminder and thanks for sharing, PAT
There are numerous news articles about how to "prevent" or "ward off" or keep from getting Alzheimer's Disease. Most have to do with keeping our brains active, exercising, and eating properly. That is all around good advice for keeping our whole bodies healthy. I get a daily newletter from realage.com, and I thought I'd share this article with you - it's their advice on what to eat to prevent dementia. My all time favorite food group - chocolate- does not seem to be listed. :( (Yes, I know dark chocolate is supposed to be good for you - in moderation, but I hate the dark stuff - I love the milk chocolate, and who ever heard of the word "moderation" in relation to chocolate????)
Copy and paste into your browser - http://www.realage.com/ct/eat-smart/food-and-nutrition/tip/4687/ If that doesn't work, go to www.realage.com and search for "Anti-Alzheimer Diet" .
I have to add here that I think there is much more involved in who develops Alzheimer's Disease than eating healthy and keeping our brains active. There is a long list of brilliant people whose brains were more actively engaged than most of ours will ever be, who developed Alzheimer's Disease - Judge John O'Connor; Richard Taylor, Ph.D, and a member of my support group who has multiple advanced degrees, to name just a few.
With that in mind, I would say - just live each day to the fullest and never put off your dreams.
I agree with that. I've come to think that using one's brain is a fine thing, valuable in its own right, and it may FORESTALL dementia to a degree. But there's something else determining who gets it and who does not.
Absolutely there is something we can't control (at this time) that causes AD. It makes me so angry when I hear someone say "Do your crossword puzzles and keep your mind active and you will avoid AD." That's as silly as saying "eat your tomatoes and the luteins will protect your vision and your mind." My neighbor is 94, sharp as a tack and walks two miles every day. He has never touched a tomato or most any fruits and vegetables. There is so much we don't know. But I'm not going to dwell on anything my LO did or didn't eat or do. In his case I believe it is in the genes but there is even more to it than that or all his siblings would be affected. We just don't know but I honestly wish bad things to happen to those doctors and nutritionists who claim to know why people get AD and simplify it to being caused by lifestyle. A pox on them all.
I believe no one knows what causes AD. Ralph has a gene and 3 of his sibblings have had AD. Other than that who Knows. My cousin said she heard using aluminum pans would cause AD! Go figure. Darlene
I was researching back posts and thought this sounded interesting. Last week I couldn't get my credit card to work at 2 different car washes. I don't know if is was me or the dang thing wasn't working. Sometimes I say or do the most ridiculous things.
My grandmother and one of her sisters died of Alzheimers and my mother is showing definite signs at age 78. The first thing I did when my husband was diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia was to get long term care insurance on myself (it was too late to get it on him). I also take the MCT oil, as I have mild type-2 diabetes and so I figure I have those glucose metabolism problems that the MCT oil gets around.
But I don't worry very much about how bad my memory is now--I do attribute it to stress and depression. I heard a neurologist say that some people come in with what looks like the beginnings of dementia and he gives them an antidepressant and then their memory is fine. I'm 53, so I'm hoping I've got at least 20 years before I develop Alzheimers. So maybe 10 good years after caregiving?
Some of us have a habit of doing things automatically with out thinking. I know I do and then later I can't remember if I did it or not. We may all get like the two sisters who shared a house. One day the older sister was going up the stairs when she yelled down to the other sister ...."Sister, am I going up or am I coming down" I read years ago that blueberries helped the brain stay active so for the last 10 years I have had them with my morning oatmeal. Then I read that people who drank vegetable juice had less problems with memory so I added V8 juice everyday. Now please, don't tell me to play in the street.
Please forgive me for repeating if someone has already said this--I've only had time to skim this thread. I have been thinking that all the learning I've been doing since the dx has actually been good for my brain. Not the stress, but the learning about finances, investing, taxes, car and house maintenance, the disease itself, technology, on and on. It has been a challenge, but overall, it must be of more benefit than doing crossword puzzles!
A very helpful doctor in the town where we used to live counseled me on my fears of also having AD because I was forgetting so much. What he told me is that the difference between my forgetting and my DH's forgetting is that when I do it, I recognize that I've forgotten something. When DH does it, he never knows he's forgotten. So, now I take comfort in knowing that I know I've forgotten something. I may still not remember to stop on the way home to buy tomatoes for dinner, but I'm glad to know that once I get home and do remember, I also remember that I've had that thought before. That makes the trip to the grocery store a little bit less stressful.
A few weeks ago my husband got up in the night and went to the bathroom. Apparently his depend was wet (or he thought it was). He wears his regular underwear over the depend when he goes to bed. This night he took both off, put the depend in the clothes hamper and threw his underwear in the trash. A few nights later, I took off my socks, rolled them up together and threw them in the trash. Pure and simple caregiver's stress. When my three children were small I often got up in the morning and found that when I cleaned up from supper I had put the butter in the cupboard and the sugar bowl in the refrigerator.
OMG, and here I thought I was the only one that was having these caregiver's stress symptoms. Everyone seems to think I'm this really strong person. They say "I just don't see how you do it." Well, frankly, my dear, I don't either.
A couple of months ago I had to go to my pulmonogist. I have COPD. For some reason I was really cranky with him. He said he thought I needed oxygen and then I tried to pick a fight with him. I think he was just plain chicken and didn't want to fight with a 77 year old woman who was really spoiling for a good fight. He said he was going to write my PCP and let him know I was out of sorts. Ya' think?
So, the next day I took a bus over to my PCP's office. Got right in and told him what I thought of the other guy and tried to pick a fight with him. He is a lot 'smoother' and said he thought we should give the other dr. a break--that he probably was looking out for my best interests and he said "Now, I know this is going to make you upset with me, but I do think you need to try a little anti-depressant. You are a very strong woman BUT it look like you are under a lot of stress and I'd like you to try this and maybe we can smooth things out a little bit. OK? OK!" (FYI, he also treats DH for his AD.)
He was right. I was upset with him, but I have taken the anti-depressants and I do feel a lot better. And it doesn't bother me as much when I forget something or the right word. But it really 'burns my biscuits' when other people think I am dumb or stupid. Perhaps I need to take another one of those little gray pills. :)
Mawzy......I wish you lived next door so we could visit and have coffee and doughnuts. You have been so helpful to me and I love reading your comments.
Mawzy, sometimes an anti-dpressant can work very nicely to just kind of take the edge of things, giving one a bit more patience/frustration tolerance without much by way of side effects. Might be worth trying.
I take 150 mg Wellbutrin (bupropian) twice a day and feel much better. It does take the edge off and I do have more patience/tolerance than I did before. My doc gave it to me several years ago for my fibromyalgia. I took it once a day then. Last fall he upped the dosage to twice a day and it really helps.
redbud, did your Doctor tell you to take the evening pill by 4:00 p.m. so it wouldn't keep you awake? Our Insurance doesn't pay for the Wellbutrin SL but it will pay for the twice a day one. We tried it but for me it was too difficult for me to give it to him before 4 so we are now paying for the delayed release pill. My question is does it effect your sleep?
I was in a study when they were developing use of the delay release Welbutrin. When my part ended , I continued on the Welbutrin for ma while. Instructions were to take it at the same approximate time each day. I linked my dose(s) to certain meals. Never noticed it interfering with sleep either way--going to sleep or stayting awake. It returned me to a better level of functioning when awake and able to get restful sleep at night.
Barna--how do you drink your coffee? Come on over & I'll fix you a nice 'cuppa' and I have some very nice cranberry/orange bread to go with. I think You'll enjoy it. We can sit, drink coffee and settle all kinds of world affairs. I'd love it. Where do you live? I live in Federal Way, Washington--25 miles sough of Seattle. (((Here's a hug)))