My husband passed yesterday, he went so fast, he stopped eating did not drink very little. I really do not think he gave up because he seems to fight so hard to stay here with us. He went so fast I really not sure what went on. He could talk until the last few days and was happy to see everyone that did visit. His sister came from Wisconsin to see him before he died and she got to talk with him went back the yesterday, I was so happy that she came when she did.
My heart break was I had to place him in a nursing home for the last 5 days of his life as I could not care for him alone, he did not know he was in a nursing home he thought he was in the hospital. I could not get him to move and I could not change his bed or depends or do all the things that he needed very well. One day I got so frustrated that I yelled at him to move his but so I could take care of him, and that was when I told myself I needed help to take care of him. I had to get in his bed to try to move him so I could change that bedding when they got wet. I had him in a hospital bed in the living room. I did have hospice for the last 7 days of his life and they were wonderful.
My husband’s children were of no help, his children were from his first marriage, his one daughter just told me he was old so what do I expect. They did not accept his Alzheimer’s diagnosis and would only talk about his cancer diagnosis. It seems like there is a lot of you out there have that same problem, you would think they would want to be there for there dad, but I guess that was their choice to make.
My daughter-in-law helped and would come when I really needed someone, my son travels a lot and they have three small children, but they were such a big help. I have two daughters but they live in Texas.
I have not posted very much but wanted all of you to know how I think of everyone as family even if you do not know me, and how wonderful this website is just wish I would have found it earlier.
Iowawife, I am so sorry about your husband. I am glad you posted to share with us here on the site. I see you first posted in December. Please continue to use this site for your comfort and to relate your experience. I am glad you did get Hospice for the last few days. Take care of yourself and try to regroup now.
Iowawife, I am so sorry for your loss! I wish you had found us earlier too! I'm glad that your son and his wife were able to be of help you. Most of us realize how hard it is toward the end, and we can't physically lift our spouses and have to have help. we know that he is now at peace. Take care of yourself and continue to visit and post. We want to hear from you. Here is a huge hug for you. I wish I could give it in person. ((((((((HUG)))))))
My sincerest sympathies to you. Such a blessing that his sister was able to come. My prayers are with you for peace and comfort at this difficult time.
I too am so sorry to hear of loss. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers. May god give you strength & wonderful memories during this sad time.
Iowawife, I am so sorry to read of your DH's passing. How wonderful that his sister was able to visit with him. I'm glad you had your son and daughter-in-law to help you. May you find comfort in the knowledge that you did all you could. You're in my prayers.
I am so sorry for the grief you now have at the end of this horrible AD. Did he die from the AD or was it a combination of that and the cancer? My heart aches for you since we all know this day is coming and even though the struggles have been many.......someone earlier said it best when they said nothing is as bad as the last breath. Those words have stuck with me and have in some sort of strange way been a comfort. Please take care of yourself and know that these coming days too will pass. My prayers and deepest sympathy are with you.
I am so very sorry for your loss. No matter how prepared we are, it still comes a shock. As others have said, I hope you can find peace in the knowledge that he is finally released from this horrible disease. Take care.
So sorry for your loss. I can only imagine how you must feel. I too find comfort in this site. It's comforting to know that others truly understand what we are going through. You and your family are in my prayers. Nancy
Iowawife, I am so sorry for your loss. As others have said, I am glad you had hospice for the support near the end of his journey. Take care of yourself, get some much needed rest. Rk
Thanks for sharing your loss. It is obvious you loved your husband very much and took such good care of him. I am glad you found this site and some comfort at this sad and difficult time. I will hold your family in my prayers.
Iowawife: my heart is full of sorrow for your loss. We are never prepared to say goodbye to our dear ones. we must keep hope that we will be connected again after our time is over on this earth .
Iowawife, please accept our profound condolences on your loss of your dear husband. know he is free of this terrible disease and will now be your guardian angel over you and yours. Divvi
My heart goes out to you in your sorrow. Please know we care and do not hesitate to post. We would love to hear about the man you fell in love with. Too many times we don't get the opportunity to remember the good times. It was wonderful that you were able to care for him to the end, no matter where it occurred. Now, it is time for you to heal and move forward in your healing process. Our prayers are with you..
Iowawife, my deepest sympathies over your loss of your husband. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Please let us know what we can do to help you at this time of need.
So very, very sad. Please take pride in the care you gave him, and remember that both of you needed and loved each other for the time you had. Our prayers for your loss.
Iowawife, I am so sorry for your loss, My husband passed in Nov. and I still am reeling. Your husband's children will eventualy understand what a great loss they hve and it is to late to anything about it.You know in your heart you did all you could do. Take comfort in that. NanaPapa
My sympathies as well. I am in a similar position as you with my stepdaughter--it is an additional sadness on top of the disease. I am trying, intead, to focus on all the wonderful people who have been supportive. We are much earlier in the journey here, but I am amazed by stories like yours, how much strength you have had to keep your LO in the home almost to the very end. I don't know if I will have the strength to do that when the time comes--my hat is off to you.