I have struggled with that same question. My DH has a tough time finding words to communicate with you. He repeats himself a lot. I have just started cleaning his teeth. I have to tell him to take a shower. He forgets to eat and the list goes on. He is in stage 5. I just ordered a MedicAlert bracelet for him. All of these things together plus I have 2 dogs that need to be cared for caused me to hire someone to come in twice a week. TI work full time and can't be here. I have someone here from 10-4 Monday's and Tuesdays. My mom lives with us and is still working (76). She is here Wednesday through Friday and for now she keeps an eye on him and makes sure he eats.
When you can't leave LO alone anymore? When they can't dial the phone anymore AND/OR they are creating the emergencies resulting in your total loss of peace of mind when they are left alone. Thenneck
2) When he started forgetting that 15 seconds is all it takes to warm his danish in the microwave......and setting it for two minutes.
3) When he started putting 3-4 minutes instead of 30 seconds to warm up an already warm cup of coffee.
4) When he had to keep asking what our phone number is.
5) When he had to ask me how the stove works
6) When he started asking where the milk goes
7) .........started asking how many kids we have
8) .........started asking whose Dog is that? (his dog of 8 years)
9) .........started calling long distance operators to find a listing for me in another state where we used to live...all the while I am just 10 feet away.
10) ........giving our old address as our present address.
11) ....... asking to go see his Mom (died probably 45-50 years ago)
12) ........getting lost
and I could go on, and on, and on!!!!!
He wouldn't have a clue what to do if a fire broke out, a pipe burst, or one of us got hurt.
My DH is in stage 5--I think. I leave him alone while he watches TV when I go grocery shopping. He doesn't want to come with my grandson and I. (GS drives me to the store about every 2 weeks.) But, I don't think I would leave him for any longer than that. Can't tell you why. I just wouldn't feel comfortable.
I don't leave my DH alone more than an hour. I gauge his mood before I go to the Pharmacy or pick us up a fast food.
First he is settled in his recliner looking at TV (Not engaged in the show). I tell him where I am going and answer his questions, ask him if he wants to come, he wants to know how long I will be gone and I tell him a half hour or whatever. He would not want me going to my club meeting or some other places he has in his head that I am going to meet another man (his primary concern is I am going to meet another man) If I feel confident in leaving then I go, otherwise I do not. So really, this is the only way I feel comfortable with leaving him for an hour.
I am not comfortable with him using the faucets, microwave or the stove, while I am with him. Thinking of him doing so while I am away is "unthinkable".
hmmmm I'm wondering myself seems I can't leave her for very long an she's gonna get into trouble,she can't drive anymore but she sure can turn things upside down in the house,move things,hide others an never knows how it happened,it seems I hide things so she won't find things then she find things to hide so both of us can't find them,at this stage its a cat an mouse game,exasperating to be sure,then the questions,how many kids do I have ,where do I spend the day?here with her 24/7 but she doesn't remember me making her breakfast lunch or dinner.......the list goes on.
Less than an hour if my destination is for his benefit. Less than that if someone is coming to be with him very shortly after I've left, and I have to--GoBus to a Dr.'s appt. Even then, if he thinks it's been too long (an errand for him on my scooter) he's been known to start out after me. Scared me--I'm on my way back and he's on his way to me, and potentially could cross paths without connecting--then what? No way any longer than that. Can't/won't use phone. Cooks on HIGH on stove. Microwaves too much time unless directed. "Does projects" he thinks of--sometimes good but safe?
If you are at the point of feeling anxious over leaving them at all for any length of time then its time to get help. theres going to be a 'first' time that they are left and something is going to happen you werent expecting. if you are lucky it may be something minor like smoking the house with a microwave. if you arent so lucky they can leave right after you and have an hrs start to getting lost or worse yet set the home on fire or burn themselves. try not to wait for the time that you prove they need someone to watch over them, try to prepare now knowing its coming. my first sign was DH leaving the house at any opportunity to go 'home'..he wanted to hitchhike. would have gotten in the car with anyone. i found him lots of times heading up the road within 2min of him out of my sight. they can get into trouble so fast. some of us have resorted to deadbolts for that particular problem-i basically never left DH alone after stage 5 began..Divvi
Although my DH has only been diagnosed for less than 3 years, he has progressed into stage6 quickly. The farthest away I get is to walk the dogs around the house! I can't trust him to not fall or open the freezer, etc.
If he were mobile, I'd be uncomfortable leaving him for more than a few minutes. Since he's not very, requires a walker to get around, and especially since I know he's afraid of falling on the ice out the front door (it's just SNOW out the back door), I will leave him for up to maybe an hour and a half watching a video I know he wants to watch, once I've got him settled in. I keep an eye on the clock and make it home. So far so good. I'm feeling highly irritated at the moment: the video I'd counted on him watching this afternoon arrived damaged. So he's watching The Daily Show. DOn't know how much he's getting out of it but he likes to hear audiences laugh!
I haven't actually left him alone for quite a while. He is very early stage 6, speech and cognitive only, otherwise stage 5 as far as physical things go. The difference between some of the people who have answered and my husband is that he is still able to go out for a long walk - one to two hours - and return on his own. He has been doing this several times a week since last May when he stopped driving.
So there is no getting someone in to take care of him while I am out. He would simply leave the premises if I did that. Generally he goes out at times when I am not ready or able to go out myself. Like right now for example. I've done all my errands and gone everywhere I wanted to go during the last two days because of the coming ice storm. And he left half an hour ago.
So at this point, he can leave me alone, but I really don't feel comfortable leaving him home alone for more than an hour. Yesterday I went out to do some errands alone for the first time in more than a month, and he told me he would go for a walk, and did so.
For me it was very clear, he started a fire! He was in later stage 5. Now of course he is so bad I dare not leave him alone for 2 minutes. Just last week he started another fire by putting a glass candle in the microwave. Who knows why! But the metal that holds the wick trashed my micro. accccccck........So I can sleep at night, I shut the breakers off to the stove and oven, and now the microwave too!
As for when do you know? I would think if you are getting nervous, there must be reasons why. Things they are doing that trigger the warning signs. I saw the signs, I guess I just kept hoping it wasn't as bad as it was. *sigh