I have to: pay the bills buy the food deal with repairs make the appointments drive all the time cook the meals worry about where the money is coming from worry about where the money is going take out the trash bring in the paper check teeth and toothbrush check for a wet towel do the laundry fold the clothes clean the house wash the dishes make sure proper clothes are worn cover and tuck him in at bedtime make excuses for behavior keep everybody happy forget about my dreams change my life try and keep my sanity try and keep myself going remember my responsibilities remember I, also, am a person with needs
I am Lois, and I am the caretaker of a grown toddler and I am VERY LUCKY I have NOT yet had to deal with: violence, physical abuse, mental abuse, incontenance, wheelchair or bedbound, shadowing, wandering.
Fantastic list; I don't have verbal or physical abuse, incontinence, wheelchair, shadowing or wandering. Except for the following, my list would be the same:
I have to: cook the meals EXCEPT he makes his breakfast and lunch take out the trash - He will take it out if I ask bring in the paper - He usually brings it in fold the clothes - He will fold if I ask clean the house- he vacumns and will do anything else I ask Wash dishes - he rinses dishes and loads dishwasher; removes dishes and hides them where I can't find them! cover and tuck him in at bedtime - Don't have to do this make excuses for behavior - I never do this keep everybody happy - I always am trying to do this! remember I, also, am a person with needs.
CHeck back here in a year, Vickie. I could have written what you wrote about a year and a half ago. Now I'm on Lois' page except that I have the incontinence, the cats, the lost walker, to deal with..
Briegull, I'll still be here in a year, I know! He was DX'd in 2003 - since that first year, he really has not declined any. Just has some days worse than others, but mostly okay. EXCEPT traveling - can't handle that at all. My son is going on the national transplant list for pancreas and kidney transplants in the next couple of weeks, and I do want to be there. He says he does too - but don't know if we can manage it or not. We'll see.
I feel for all of you going through the "worsening", the incontinence, etc. bless you all.
Oh --- I have the Shih Tzu to take care of too! (Yes, I'm a dog person).
Well, I don't have the incontinence and as a rule don't have to make excuses for him. And he's pretty meticulous about brushing his teeth. I do have to remind him to shower and change his clothes. Oh, yes, I do take care of the cat's litter box and feed the cat.
I've gradually come to the conclusion that this isn't going to get any better. Right now, I'm praying for strength and patience. That incontinence thing scares me. But, I'm not going to 'borrow sorrow from tomorrow.' Today is a good day and we're going to be just fine.
You guys all work so hard. We all do. It's good we're all so strong.
Shadowing !!! Finder of all things...especially those that are in front of him, that he does not see Explainer of all things... especially what is happening on all TV shows that I can not get to see or hear because he is chattering every waking moment nagger...to convince him that "YES" taking your meds is very important, changing clothes is healthier etc...
My goodness, there's no end to this list. I forgot that I made arrangements for roofers, had the furnace repaired, hired a contractor to do kitchen makeover and living room. I've neverdone any of this before. But I'm an expert now.
I forgot all about the explaining things, finding things,
No end to it. Sheeze--is it any wonder we get weary???
Sounds to me like what it has been most of my married life except some of the maintenance chores. When kids came along, that tripled the work.
I do realize it is much more draining though than raising kids - we are not as young. There is a reason only the young have kids - someone forgot to tell this ugly disease though.
Hello out there.. I posted a comment that didn't go.. But woke up this morning feeling completely overwhelmed and nearly hyperventilating because I feel that I NEED to get out of here for a while. Makes me feel silly to see that so many of you have all the 'nursing' duties as well as supervision, when My DH is physically able to do so much for himself. He needs provision of meals, medication and supervision of laundry (mixes dirty clothes with clean in the closet and hangs dirty with clean in his room)..and a driver to take him to feed the cows (grandson) or errands (me). That said..the new years optimism for making a fresh attempt to set up a home art studio and etc. is fading fast.
I find that I can't have a conversation on the phone about art business without explanations that DH doesn't understand. He read a title on an art show application and misunderstood it to mean that I was going somewhere on a plane because one word in that title said 'southwest'..as in Southwest Art. For some reason I feel exhausted trying to explain these things and finally feel that its not going to be possible to do much of anything here.
Anyway, thats a whine for this day...and its early..maybe it will be better.