Last evening I was seting the table with my best dishes, Christmas placemats etc. and I thought it looked so pretty I had to take a picture. After a while I wondered outloud whether I had put our good cutlery or the kitchen stuff. O said "I don't know what cutlery is" so I went about giving cues, describing what you do with it etc. to no avail. I finally looked at the dining room table and there was no cutlery at all! We both had a chuckle and now O knows for the moment anyway what cutlery is and I know that I'm losing it but am still able to see the humour. Happy New Year everyone and may we all enjoy many humourous, peaceful moments.
We need to find humor in some of this so we don't scream. I need to do this more. i get caught off guard with my LO not knowing what a trellis is or even who is that girl in the picture ( its my daughters wedding picture) so I react shocked or worried and he picks that up. Hard to hide feelings I need to work on that in this new year.. Happy New YEars to you inge and All of our online friends and Peace to us All.
I do the same, Pat and I must work on changing that as well.
Happy New Year to everyone and to echo Inge, may we all have many good times even if they are of short duration( long duration is my personal favourite but you can't be choosy).
We went out to dinner last night with one of our "support groupie couples". We've become very good friends. J. said something to Sid relating to their lack of memory that was very, very funny, and we all laughed. Well, now I CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT HE SAID!!!! I am sitting here laughing about that, because if I didn't, I'd be in big trouble. :)
Joan, this happens to me all the time. Once in a while O remembers something that really blows me away and when I go to tell my mom, I can't remember what it was. I try to keep my sense of humour about it but deep down I worry about my memory. Today we were going to see the opera Hansel and Gretel at a movie theatre and it took me an hour and a lot words that I can't repeat here before I finally found the tickets I had ordered on line months ago. We loved the show.
Boy, I thought it was just me doing this stuff. I found out that I can't think about more than one thing at once. Yesterday I was running around doing laundry and trying to get dinner on the table. I got the cheese out of the refrigerator, and then instead of putting it back when I was finished with it, I ran over to put it in the laundry room! When I told my husband what I had done, he said "I thought I was the one who was supposed to be doing things like that." This has its funny moments, but it's kind of scary when it happens when I'm trying to write checks or figure the income taxes. That's when I wish I still had somebody to run things by.
Things have been so heavy and serious around here for such a long time. We need a little humor to break up the stress. This topic hasn't been added to since January. Anyone out there have any humorous stories to share with us about their life with AD? Check out the "humorous stories" section on the left side of the website to see what others have shared.
Our grand daughter is a professional dancer with a company out of NYC. They were coming to a city close to where we live, so I ordered the tickets online and they came in the mail. I made the motel arrangements, etc. I "put" the tickets away so my husband would not pick them up and do something with them and forget what he did. Well...........guess what, I have yet to find where I hid the tickets. Fortunately since I had ordered them online, we were able to get replacements at the window. I keep telling myself that I have to find ONE hiding place and only use that one as I keep forgetting where I stash things that need to be out of sight in a hurry.
Gosh, I am so glad I am not alone in doing this. I am constantly hiding things on myself after trying to hide it from my LO. I always say I will remember where it is but I find myself having to look for it. Thanks for sharing, PAT.
My husband was amazed to find the bird feeder half-empty yesterday as he had just filled it up the day before. Then he noticed the "thing" (squirrel baffle) had fallen off the post. "oh that explains it", he said, "that frog has been up there again."
I try never to laugh at him, only with him, but I couldn't stop myself - maybe you just had to be there...a FROG on the bird feeder!
Wow, I really have to smile. My husband has unique names for things too, and I find I am starting to know exactly what he is talking about, and even use them myself! He catches me sometimes and I think laughing together about it makes it so much better for both of us.
He calls the remote a blackberry. This has no relation to the electronic gadget that has become popular!! I think it has nubby parts (buttons) that brings the reference to mind.
This disease can be so challenging, I am grateful for any little lightness I can find. Thanks to all for sharing before me.
Laughing is so good for me! Sometimes things that usually annoy me to the max will strike me funny at the oddest moments - thank goodness! Today, my husband had made a huge mess "working" in the kitchen, but he was trying to complete a task for me that I couldn't do myself so all that was OK. But when cleanup time came, he was getting a little tired and grumpy. I suggested that he just use our mini-vac to clean up the powder and dust. He asked me where the vac was. I couldn't figure out how to answer the question b/c he's always misplacing things and he used it to clean one of our vehicles a few days ago. I didn't want to say, "WHEREVER YOU LEFT IT" because I knew he'd get mad and frustrated. So I just kept quiet and kept thinking while I cleaned like crazy hoping he'd forget he asked me - sometimes that works. :) But then he asked me again...I had to say something so I said, "If it isn't in the cupboard where it belongs I really don't know where it might be." (Tactful, and helpful all at the same time, I thought) He says with real irritation and total confidence, "Well it's WHEREVER YOU LEFT IT!! I saw you use it one time." Now why is that so funny? I don't know...but I had to hurry around the corner out of sight and I laughed and laughed. Then I went and found the dustbuster for him - where he'd left it.
One day recently I put out the clothes for my DH to put on, but also left out my blouse. Of course, that's what he put on! It was hilarious to see him in it and reminded me to never have my clothes out before he gets dressed!
Fran, thank you for the laugh! I too, lay out my husband's clothes for him. I'll be extra careful from now on! :)
My husband has refused to eat chicken for 46 years. "I had it at my grandmother's house every Sunday after Church all my life and I'm not eating it any more." - Well, now he's forgotten he refuses to eat it - every once in a while - so I can serve it to him on occasion. This is a major breakthrough for me! I LOVE chicken and always have had to prepare a separate dish for for him in the past!
My husband refused to eat beef for about 5 years. I never really understood why. At some point last year he forgot that he doesn't eat beef. We had steak for dinner tonight. Frankly I'm glad I'm not making pork and turkey meatballs anymore. I got very tired of them.
I have a pen pal whose husband is at the same stage that my husband is at, or a bit further along. She suggested that I buy a tackle box with a lock.
When I was an office manager I put locks on some cabinets for bulk storage so I could control how quickly some supplies went out to the kitchen AND notice when we needed to reorder. Not running out of things was important. If my crew refilled the open cabinets we always knew what we were running out of. A locked drawer or cabinet would also work as a place to put things that we need to "hide away" like drugs, car keys or tickets.
I haven't provided myself with locked storage yet, but I fully intend to do so.
We don't have many humorous episodes but I think this is one. At least its a positive happening. DH does not always dress appropriately. He may wear gardening clothes to go out or his "best" to lounge at home. I can't lay clothes out for him as he does "what he wants to do" He's been wearing shirts that need ironing just to sit at home. I told him if he liked to do that he would have to iron them. Today we had about eight shirts in the laundry. I asked if wanted to iron and he said OK. I set up the board, the iron etc and he ironed all perfectly. Also ironed my slacks.We've been married 19 years. I didn't know he could iron! Of course I should have known since he was in the Navy for 35 years. Finally a positive episode.
Because I needed to get out of the dumps, I went to the Alzheimer's Association's message board for caregivers on humor and have spent the last hour laughing my head off. Boy, did that feel good! I feel better now. :)
Several years ago my wife was being evalated by a speech therapist. One part of the test was to explain some common axioms. One of them was, " No ifs ands or buts." When the therapist asked her what that meant, she said, " I don't know, but it has something to do with asses."
mine always tells the aide that sits with him during the week i have a 'boyfriend' that comes to see me when she leaves. its the 'guy' in the mirror at the end of the hallway, he doesnt recognize his reflection.:)
FYI Everyone - Don't forget about the humor section on the left side of the website. That's where I archive all of the funny stories you send me. It's a fun diversion from caregiving to read them and chuckle.
Baltobob's story about the "No if's, ands, or buts", reminded me - Sid was asked to repeat that phrase during his "mini" testing on Wednesday. He repeated it perfectly, and I didn't think any more of it, until I read baltobob's post.
So of course, after reading the post, I asked Sid if he knew what the phrase meant. No clue. No idea what it meant. Just proves why I was so upset with that "mini" test.
The only mini-test my husband got this time around was draw the clock and how many quarters in a dollar. Of course they had a letter from me and 3 pages of notes on symptoms to go by. They probably didn't need a mini-test under the circumstances.
The new notes sheet is going to be set up differently. This time I'm going to date information and journal it chronologically.
Actually, I was told at the ADRC that they ask patients to repeat the "ifs, ands, or buts" phrase NOT to see if they know what it means, but to see if they pronounce all the "s's" (no, not asses, plural s -- too, too funny). It's one of three "language indicators" (along with being asked to name common items like a pencil and a watch, and being asked to follow simple instructions such as "close your eyes.") My husband is totally unable to pronounce all three of them, although the specific "s" that he drops changes from time to time.
In theory, there is a correlation between general cognitive impairment and the inability to say the phrase correctly, but a number of papers I found questioned whether any such correlation actually exists. Others question whether the level of education and/or the native language of the patient affects the utility of the phrase.
I know the ADRC person gave me a more detailed explanation of what part of "language" the phrase tested, but I've forgotten. I do remember that what she told me didn't make sense to me -- I remember asking how on earth they would have discovered a correlation, because there did not seem to be a logical link.
Anyway, other researchers have suggested that "language" indicators in the MMSE might be useful in differentiating between AD patients and those suffering from Parkinson's and vascular dementias, but recent studies found that to be untrue. (Other types of indicators in the MMSE actually did have some correlation with the type of dementia.)
I also found papers that concluded the MMSE itself has "low sensitivity for detecting changes in cognitive functioning when documenting disease course or changes related to therapy." I.e., it can be useful in determining that there is a problem, but not in necessarily the degree of the problem -- it can NOT be used to monitor the progression of a disease such as AD. In my experience, the scores can bounce all over the place, so the score on any given day doesn't mean much, as far as I can see.
Like Joan, I think the value of the MMSE is totally over-rated, and apparently researchers who have delved into it in detail agree. I suppose a lot of it depends whether the person administering the test really understands the test, or is simply following instructions.
Hum... They did tell my husband to close his eyes. And then to touch his nose. He immediately opened his eyes before he touched his nose. Then touch her finger and touch his nose. He used one hand to touch the finger and the other to touch his nose the first time he did it. Later was able to use one hand, either one as a matter of fact. In his case it wasn't doing the action, it was following the instructions, which were actually given one at a time.
My husband (with MCI) used to be a minister. Today we were going to attend an evening wedding and he wondered aloud who would perform the service, he used to love to do weddings and still gets asked occassionally. We discussed the possibities briefly and then he said, "I could do it but when I pronounce them husband and wife I'll just say 'By the powers vested in me by the state of CONFUSION...'" I loved it!!!
A year ago, the whole family was over for dinner. We had baked potatoes with various toppings. DW took a potato and put on chipped BBQ. When she took a bite, she pushed it away and said it was too hot (spicy) and that she wouldn't eat it. I traded potatos with her because mine wasn't topped yet. She took the potato, and reached again for the BBQ! As she had the spoon in the air ready to spread it on, several people noticed and happened to yell "NO!" at one time! SHe plunked the spoon down and said, "You people are RUDE!" She never did know why we kept her from taking the BBQ!
DH, for some unknown reason, started to do laundry (when he did it) in hot water, long cycle, extra rinse. I tried to suggest this wasn't necessary (with no luck). I just asked that he not use that when doing any laundry other than his. So, he threw in a few extra items last month. Hot water. Discovered the few things he washed of mine were now toooo small.
This week, he decided to do all the laundry he could find. He even washed the sheet the cat spit up on and remade the bed. I took a nap. He told me later he didn't put my bras in the dryer and he only used warm water.
When I got dressed the next day, once again my shirt was toooo small. Ditto my shorts. Checked the washer (electronic controls). Still set for long cycle, hot water. Mentioned this to him and he swore he used warm, and it always "reset" to hot. (Not!).
DS, who is in his 20's, suggested maybe DH just wanted to see me in tighter clothes.
While your DH's are helping with the wash, I am surprised that mine has gone 'on vacation'. Today when we arrived at our new RV Park he sat at the picnic table and WATCHED while I hooked up the water, sewer, and started unhooking the tow car. It actually is much easier if I do it myself, but he has never just sat there watching me! Later he said, "This place reminds me of where we rode horses!" It should, since this IS where we rode horses! What a life, eh?
frand, I know just what you mean. It has amazed me when my husband will just watch me do these things., It's hard to believe that this was a man that could do anything. Now he just sits and does nothing. Actually, he doesn't remember how to do anything now. That's the sad part.
Today I managed to take the garbage out of the kitchen can in the tall garbage bag. It is a first. I've been packing the garbage for each day into its own little grocery store bag and that has been driving me nuts.
I feel like I should be given a gold star for rationality! <grin>
We get our phone messages on our computers. Vonage. Tonight my husband said his brother HAD left a message, he even used your name. I asked why he would use my name if he were calling him. He came into my office & tried to find it, which is easy, because his brother has a different area code. I said, it's not on MY computer. So he brought me into his office, and said, here it is. It was a message my husband had left for me today. He said, Oh, I thought that was my brother, he sounds just like me! And by the way, he does sound more & more like his brother. His brother has quite a Southern accent, being from the Eastern Shore of VA. I guess over the years, my husband has adapted to less of a Southern accent. Just in the last few weeks, I've noticed his accent changing. Probably going back to his past. It was funny in a strange sort of way.
My daughter who is living in England is visiting us this summer for two months, and watching her father while my other daughter and I both work. Tuesday was her first day alone with Daddy. We had made his breakfast and given him his medicine before we left for work. She and her Dad watched a couple of movies and then she fed him lunch. Then, as is his current habit, he went out in the back yard and sat in the flower bed and pulled weeds. She looked outside every once in a while to make sure he was okay. After another 15 minutes, she looked out and couldn't see him. She went out in the front yard and could not find him. She knew he hadn't come back in the house. She was thinking "my first day to watch Daddy and I lost him!" Then she went around the side of the house and could see him behind a large bush in the flower bed still pulling weeds. She was so relieved that she hadn't lost Daddy! :) When she told us, we laughed and said welcome to our world!
This goes back to PatB's post about the laundry and the tight clothes. Sid and I went out to dinner tonight. I told him about PatB's post, and how funny I thought it was. He was following the conversation and paying attention, and he laughed. Then I told him about my post right after Pat's - about my tight clothes. He really thought that was funny.
Not two hours later, he was sitting in the den with his laptop, reading the posts under this humor section, laughing out loud. When I asked what was funny, he read PatB's post to me, and my answer, and kept laughing at how funny they were.
When I said - uh, well, uh, I told you about them in the restaurant, and you laughed, he looked at me as if I was nuts. He had absolutely no memory of the entire restaurant conversation.
Guess there must be something positive about being able to enjoy a joke endlessly, since you never remember it.
I got a call from the March of Dimes yesterday confirming that when they spoke to my husband last week he had volunteered to stuff envelopes. I should tell them to come pick him up and let him work with them for a few hours, huh?!
Great idea....! I remember once having to call to change our home phone service and they would only speak to the person in whose name the line was registered. Well, at that time, my husband was deep in the claws of EOAD and I tried to explain to the customer service person that he was not able to make the call and that I was his wife of many, many years and that I was paying the bill....well, no way they wanted all the paperwork showing that I could talk to them...So, I put my husband on the phone....even one sided, the conversation was pretty funny. After a few minutes I got back on the line and the poor man said that he would make the change and thanked me for calling....LOL!
I have a friend who is in mild stage but rather forgetful. when the two of them, she and my DH are sitting and talking its a riot...every other line is 'did i tell you'?( which of course they told only a few minutes ago), and then they both laugh hysterically EVERY time the same things are told over and over and over...like someone said, 'groundhog day':) divvi
Does anyone remember "Bill Cosby Himself" - it came out before his family sit com - where he told about going into another room, forgetting what he went after, and had to turn around and go back to where he started and sit back down in order to remember. Then he figured out that if he cupped his hand under his tush that he could save himself from having to go back and sit down, since obviously the memory is triggered in the rear end! We have tried it over the years, and had 50/50 luck with it!