In the last week we have noticed DH speech is being more affected. He cannot do a complete sentence without stopping to search for a word. If he thinks of the word, he forgets the rest of the sentence. Frustrating for him and whoever he is trying to talk to. He is getting a little upset about it, although he grins and makes a joke about it. Is this the way leading to stopping talking? I know some of you say your DH only says a few words.
Mine goes thru phases of this - sometimes a LOT of trouble finding words, other times not. THis afternoon he sat happily in front of the History CHannel watching an interminable show about WWII and the Werhrmacht, and came in for supper talking about how Nixon and Frost were involved with that. Very vocal, no losing words, but of course completely confusing the ads for the upcoming movie with the WWII story.
My husband's speech was the first to go. He retired in 01 and could barely talk a year later but seemed otherwise healthy, today his entire vocabulary is "yes" or "no". Very very frustrating for both of us.
Imohr, My DH has had trouble for a while either not remembering a word or losing track of what he wants to say. Like the bank dream.....none of that make sense to me and he can't remember enough of it to make sense of it anyway. A couple of nights ago I had to explain a TV commercial to him because he had it all wrong so I hope that doesn't happen too often. Most commercials are irritating if not outright annoying.LOL
Imohr, he makes sounds, he is not mute. He just "lost words" at first but now with the exception of yes and no, nothing he says is understandable, just mumbling noises although seems to understand everything said to him very well. He did use a "speech generating computer" for a while but his eye sight is so poor that he can not see the pictures he needs to see and click the icon to generate his words. I am sure that even though his truly has dementia, a lot of his problems are the result of not being able to communicate.
Girls...my husband has had speech problems for several months. Sometimes he cannot hold the thought long enough to express it and stops talking...other times he loses words completely OR has the word and cannot speak it. He may do this for a week or so...then speak nearly normal a few days. You just never know. His speech is worse when he is stressed, even if he is frustrated with himself. Hope this helps.
Speech problems are the major component of my husband's dementia. He tries to ask questions. Sometimes I've got a clue about what he wants to know and I guess. Just now he wanted to know which day was garbage collection. But unless I've got a reason to know what he wants, there is no way I can guess. The worst is when he wants a particular TV program and I can't figure out which one, or even worse, if it is something that is no longer on.
Conversations are long over. My daughter who speaks to him on the phone says that talking to him on the phone is substantially more difficult now than it used to be. Since he keeps losing more and more words, I'm sure this is how he will lose his ability to speak. There is nothing wrong with his voice at this point. The problem is that he does not have the words he needs to have.
Starling...your are so right. Sometimes when he is having trouble with words, he wants me to help figure it out...other times he gets mad if I try to help with words. My husband cannot hardle handle the remote ...even on a good day, so I change most channels. He has trouble keeping up with a TV program. I spend most of my times explaining programs. At commercials, he thinks I changed the channel. We spend a lot of time explaining at our house!! The strange thing to me is that it is on...and off. Sometimes like it has nothing to do with speech at all, but more a "thinking" problem.
Thank you all for your imput. I can relate to all of you and it sounds like this may be a normal progression of the disease. It is bound to be terribly depressing for them to not be able to express themselves.
Not only depressing Imohr but extremely frustrating ...... when my husband cannot find the words he needs to make a statement I see the frustration level rise and he usually ends up saying 'oh, I can't remember what I wanted to say', or he'll call something a 'whatchmacallit' or a 'thingamebob' ..... Lord only knows what it is he is trying to say 'cuz I sure don't and I'm here all the time .... LoL !!!! It's a real guessing game most days but somehow we manage to get from A to B. He is also having a great deal of difficulty remembering some names - not all but just some - I'm not sure why. Maybe I'll ask him tomorrow what my name is .... he never says it so maybe he can't remember although he remembers our Son's name and my brother's name.
The word "whatchmacallit" brings back memories. Long before my husband became ill, even back when I first met him 24 years ago he was not good with names and had trouble introducing me to people he knew because he could not remember their names. And many times in conversation the word whatchamacallit entered into it when he could not think of what he wanted to say. It became a joke and I would often say "which whatchmacallit are we talking about". Scary to think that this horrible disease was probably starting to take root way back then.
Ny DH has the difficulty that he can understand what i am saying but cant get what he wants to say out. its all mumbo jumbo except for the yes or no that is enough to know he understands the question. he also suffers great hearing loss so i have noticed if i speak slowly and directly to his face he understands much better. the speech /hearing loss is connected. he can say some phrases that have meaning but usually he wants to join in conversations but its all mumbo jumbo..you know what i mean parts of one word mixed witht he ending of another. you have to decifer =remember the navaho code breakers we discussed:)one more talent we require.. Divvi
ehamilton, English is not my husband's first language. He never got the he, she and it thing because there is no gender in Hungarian, not even the little bit we have in English. My daughter says that he ALWAYS used "watsis" as a general term.
It made giving him the mini-mental early on in the diagnosis hard. He also used all of the typical "excuses" that I now know are signals that we are dealing with dementia but which just didn't register even a few years ago as a symptom of something wrong. He used humor as an excuse. I'm not sure if he knows my name or not because the last time I asked him what my name was (months ago) he made a joke out of not answering. He used the typical, "I don't care to remember that!" as an excuse for not knowing his address and phone number. He used calling cards (personal as opposed to business cards) to give people addresses and phone numbers for at least 20 years before we got a diagnosis.
Did he have mild, stage 2 or 3 dementia all the way back then? Don't have a clue. But his main dementia is event driven. It is possible that he also has Alzheimer's and that it goes back 20 years.
My husband began taking longer to answer questions than a normal person would, and I found myself answering for him. He would nod and smile and maybe repeat the last word or two I said. This went on for a year. I honestly didn't think too much of it at the time, but looking back, since we often had finished each other's sentences, it didn't seem out of character. Now I realize it was that his speaking ability had become impaired. He still thinks in sentences, but the sentences get lost in the mesh of wiring in the brain and don't reach the tongue. He's been down to 5 or 6 words for a long time now. The kids and grandkids know to form questions that only require a yes or no response. We still include him in conversations, but it is so difficult not being able to have a conversation with him any more.
We have a lot of "things" in this house. Sometimes I can guess what they are but sometimes I don't have a clue. Language was the first thing to go with AD and like Mary I often finish my husband's sentence or do a lot of detective work to figure out what he is trying to say or ask. Sometimes he just drops it and looks so dejected when the thought just disappears before it can be expressed.
My DH has problem with speech too. He gets words mixed up a lot. He might say, this is too hot, when He really meant to say that it was too cold. Then on other days he mumbles and I can hardly figure out what he is trying to say. He also talks in his sleep and moves his arms and hands. I guess he is working on something. He does do this awake and asleep. And his train of thought is also gone. He cannot say a complete sentence most of the time.
A lot of what goes on here is interpretation. Luckily I was good at languages. I try to figure out what he is saying. I don't think other people might. One of his favorite words is catiwampus. It is something his mother used. It means crooked. It is not something I knew growing up, but picked up after we married. There are other saying he and his mother used that I learned after we married. It was all new to me. He resorts to those more these days. I worry if he is with other people who might not understand him, but he does not talk that much to others. This is is all part of the disease. We go to a wedding in NJ this weekend. My 5 siblings and their spouses will be there. In a way it will be maybe our last family reunion. Pray for me.
When we were first coming to a realization that something was wrong, when he was still in cognitive therapy and we didn't have a diagnosis, I was convinced that part of his problem was that English was not his first language and that there were things he had never had a word for. Certainly my daughter reports that he used "watis" and "thingamagig" instead of the real words for a lot of things way before dementia struck, and I remember it that way too.
I'm not at all sure that was what was happening back then. And what is going on isn't using an all purpose word for something he never had the word for before. He had the words for mail, newspapers and garbage before. But he doesn't have them now.
Aphasia (inability to speak) was my husband's first sign of dementia. I hoped it would only be speach and not mind that was effected. Wrong. He is now diagnosed with Fronto temporal dementia, aphasia and early stages of ALS. Hasn't driven for a year but walks to the store 3 - 4 times a day (small town), buys the same stuff over and over (warehouse is our home now). Have delayed taking $$ away, trying to leave him some degree of dignity. Can still do laundry and take care of cats. I'm still working (mainly for my sanity) but don't think that will last much longer. Hate winter weather - no power yesterday and he was so agitated being cooped up that it was terrible. All of you are saints for your hard work in taking care of your loved ones. I don't know where to turn and feel very alone as I'm sure many of you do. Just one day at a time is how I live.