Today is my birthday. I am feeling sorry for myself, this is the first year even after my husband seeing my birthday cards that he could care less what day it is. I really don't care for a big fuss over my birthday, but kind of hurt. Oh well! It's really just another day.
Happy Birthday to You Kadee, My husband hasn't remembered my birthday or our anniversary (same month) for a few years. I don't care for a fuss to be made about birthdays, either; but this is just another sad sign of his deterioration.
I hope that the thoughts and birthday wishes of others helped a little.
Happy Birthday, Kadee. My husband has not remembered my birthday for two years, nor our anniversery. The first year, I just couldn't believe it because, bless his heart, he always made a fuss for me. The day came and went and I asked if he knew what day it was. He was blank! It hurt then. Not now. Know that I feel for you. Cheers!
My wife M hasn't remembered birthdays, etc for several years. I suppose I will get used to it someday. This December I am trying to get into the Christmas spirit for our grandchildren. I have their gifts in a big box awaiting wrapping. Perhaps I will put up our tree in a few days. I am thankful that she can still be at home with me this Christmas.
Happy Bday, Kadee. My DH hasn't know it was my b-day the last 3 years straight (maybe 4). I always just ask my kids not to mention it around him anymore. It hurts enough that AD caused him to ever forget it at all. He used to go overboard every holiday, especially my bday.
Thank you all for the birthday wishes. I know I shouldn't whine and I really don't care for a fuss. Just thought after he saw the birthday cards, he would at least say Happy Birthday. I did take myself out to dinner, however, no dinner conversation at my table. I just listened to the folks around me. I am sure my next birthday, I will not think a thing about it. With this disease you seem to get accustomed to things not happening.....or happening.
Happy Birthday, Kaydee! Mine hasn't remembered in years, long before I recognized the AZ! But he does tell me about one of his nice "keepers." (me) "Keeper" is a word I've used as well because of my involvement with the zoo and its keepers, so it's not intended to refer to asylum keepers or anything!
Mine may remember my Birthday and mention it but not wish me a Happy Birthday or anything else. He hasn't did anything for my Birthday for years. Mine is next week. We will see, but I am not losing any sleep over it because I am used to that being the way things are. I invited my daughters out for lunch on my day. Actually, one is teaching and we will take the lunch to her because she only has a half hour.
Happy Birthday Kadee and to all us others whose husbands forget or forgot.
Happy Birthday Kadee. My birthday is 11/24, our anniversary is 12/23. DH told me he needed to get some cards so I took him to the store. The day AFTER my BD, he gave me the Anniversary card; by the time 12/23 gets here, he probably won't be able to find the BD card! (grin)
We were to leave today from KY to go to FL to see my 91 yr. old Mom in NH where my sister lives; from there to Atlanta to Emory where my son is being evaluated for kidney/pancreas transplant. WELL! Tues. night he was up and down all night (unusual because he normally sleeps well). Next morning he says he's sick and he can't go on a trip. And he literally was sick. He gets absolutely paranoid whenever we get ready to leave on a trip out of town. He says he's going to end up in the hospital 700 miles from home. He was in such a state, I told him we would cancel the trip and not go. It was like a heavy burden had been lifted from him. I'm so dissappointed - but it's one more thing we have to "live" through. No more out of town trips for us.
Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday dear Kaydee, Happy Birthday to you!. I'm sure you would be glad you don't have to listen to me sing if you could hear me. Charlie remembered my birthday last year. He even walked across the street to the little store there, but that had moved the rack where they keep the cards and he couldn't find them and since he can't talk, he couldn't ask. They told me he was in and how badly they felt because they didn't know what he wanted. It took me 2 or 3 days of trial and error questions to finally figure out what it was. This year he didn't even remember (even after I told him) so I took HIM out to dinner.
Happy Birthday from those of us who know exactly how it feels -yes i guess thankfully you do get to the point where it doesnt hurt quite like the first times. this is what yrs of AD can do rob the caregivers of feelings as well on top of our spouse. sigh.. anyway, know that we care here and everyone (i guess including me too, miy bday was thanksgiving:) and i got myself a very pricey pair of diamond hoops from DH,) he was happy i gave him the box and said say HAppy bday darling!! he cried bless his heart like he knew he had forgot...gotta luv em, right?? they cant help whats happening to them..soolong story short, we will be family to each other and remind each other that ARE people out here in cyber world who do care!! best wishes and a huge warm hug! divvi
Happy Birthday, Kadee. DH forgot our 58th anniv in March and my b'day in April. I couldn't believe it. He ALWAYS gets the prettiest cards for me. He was just clueless when he saw the cards others gave me on the mantle. Didn't phase him at all. It hurt then but not now. Just sort of makes me sad to remember those days.
It hurt the first time my birthday and our anniversary were forgotten. Bill always got me flowers on our anniversary no matter where in the world we were. Roses in Paris. The hurt is gone but in it's place desolation. The monster has us both.
Another Happy Birthday wish, Kadee! My husband hasn't remembered for three years now. I go out and get my gifts and give them to him wrapped and tell him I shopped for him for my birthday. He smiles and gives it to me and and smiles and nods when I open it, as if he approved of my choice for his gift to me. My birthday is December 19. I've already bought my birthday and Christmas presents for him to give me this year. He would feel bad if he didn't have anything to give me when everyone else got their gifts. That much he can remember. Of course, I'm his sweetie...haven't been Mary or his wife in over a year. <grin>
Bluedaze, I'm so sorry for your situation! I will be reaching your place in about a year, if my husband keeps going downhill at his present rate.
Happy birthday, Kadee. My DH's birthday is the day before mine and he still forgets. I am getting used to it. Sometimes our daughter reminds him or takes him out to shop. One time he gave me a birthday card on Valentine's Day. He could not find the valentines. We get used to it after a while. It is not his fault . It is the disease. Maryd
I have the last birthday card i got from DH while he was still able to write and sign. it was a 'love letter' and it is maybe my MOST prized possession at this point. i take it out and read it on my bday and when i get sad of our situation..i treat it like gold as it can never be replaced. Divvi
Well, heck, Kadee, maybe you don't have to have a birthday any more, and you can stay young!
Both my husband and I have forgotten my birthday even before the AD, so it wouldn't hurt now. Last year, he kept fussing about wanting to take me to dinner, for weeks before the big event ... then forgot on the day, and I was so stressed out at work, I was actually relieved and didn't remind him. This year, he consulted the calendar twenty times a day for at least a month. We did go out on the right day. <grin>
Gosh, Vickie ... what stress you must be under. Please let us know how things go for your son.
Happy Birthday (a day late) Kadee. As several have said, maybe the first year the spouse forgets is the hardest, and that was this year for us. He actually saw both of my daughters' birthdays on his blackberry/palm pilot (his coping mechanism), first in April and then in August, and for both, asked me if I had made a "contribution" to them. We assume that he meant bought a present!!! When I said yes, I had bought them something, he quickly moved on and never mentioned the birthdays again. Then, In July, when I got him a present and card for our 25th anniversary, he thanked me for both, but obviously had no earthly idea what they were for. I cried for days, but then found an old anniversary card he had given me several years ago, and like divvi, I've put it in a special place. So when my birthday rolled around last month, and he said nothing, not even when my high school daughter got a cake for me and it sat on the counter with several cards surrounding it, I got out that old card and the tears dried up a little faster. No recognition of what Thanksgiving was either, so my daughters and I are a little worried about him recognizing Christmas? He's been visiting relatives this week, and we've put the decorations up, so we'll see what he says when he comes home Sunday. (Since my daughters are still "at home", although one in college, I'm keeping our Xmas decorations the same as long as possible for their sake....) His family always made a much bigger deal of Xmas than of birthdays, so we are hopeful that memory is still there.... Anyway, hugs from another "forgotten" birthday girl......Texasmom ps---actually I just remembered something funny. Before this year, when he not only remembered our birthdays but bought a card, he always signed the cards with his FULL name, not Dad or his first name, but his formal name. We did learn to chuckle about that!
Thank you again for all the nice birthday wishes. Also, thank you to ehamilton for the song. lol Texasmom, I did chuckle when you said your husband signed his full name. It reminded me of the time I was hurrying wrapping presents & signed my oldest son's present Dad & my full name. Thankfully, I caught it before giving him his present.
Thanks, Sunshyne, will post when I find out about my son. Stress...who, me?? Actually, I don't have it nearly as bad with my hubby as most on this board. And I love reading your posts and research. I've learned so much from you and all the others here.