I am moving my DH to a new facility (our choice) that will hopefully meet his needs as the first one has not. I have not said anything to my DH yet as I did not want to confuse him or did not know if it will upset him. Does anyone have any suggestions on what to say. I know the simpler the better, but sometimes hearing ideas from others really, really helps. We are moving to a residential facility and have found a good doctor who visits. I am hopeful that he will begin to become more content. I have seen two gentleman that this doctor has worked so well with and she has highly recommended this facility. The Alzheimer's Association locally highly recommended this facility also. I am a little nervous about the move, but I know he is not in a good place now. Any suggestions for telling him are welcome. I will be driving him over tomorrow morning. Forgot to ask earlier. Thanks
Alice, I have no experince with this so I have no great words of wisdom. But, I did want to offer you my support and let you know I will be thinking of you tommorow ((hugs))
Alice, I have no experience with this either but I think you were wise not to mention it to him earlier. It sounds like a good move for both of you and I wish you well. I am sure you will have a period of adjustment while he gets used to a new place. Good luck with your move and let us know how things go.
Hi Alice, I know someone will add something helpful soon. I don't know how I would go about getting DH into a facility for the first time..but I am discovering that he is now making comments about 'being here before' when we eat at a unfamiliar place or stay in an unfamiliar hotel. Not sure what that means, but last week we went to our grandson's wedding in a completely unfamiliar place and he thought he'd been at that very wedding chapel before. Same with the hotel..and so if you take him to this new facility MAYBE for a 'few days'(?)..he'll begin to think he's been there 'before'..too. Mercy..I don't know..truly will be thinking of you.
Alice, perhaps if you tell your DH they are renovating the place where he is now he will be okay.
Judy, My DH does that with TV shows saying he has seen it before when it is a new show. The odd part is he doesn't remember seeing some the rerun shows!
Alice, if he wasn't content at the ALF where he was, it may be easier to get him adjusted in a new place. Please let us know how it went this morning.
Judy and Jean, my DH does the same thing about places we've never been before or movies we've never seen before. He "remembers" when we were there before. The brain is a strange thing and this disease is a strange thing.
Alice, take a look at how he responds to things and try and capitalize on behaviors that he is already exhibiting. Did he complain about the food? You can tell him that you have found a new place where the food is much better. Is he aware of what you do for him? You can tell him that the new place is much easier to get to and a better place for you to help him out.
As they are often human emotion barometers, he probably will respond to how you are about the new place. If you are happy and upbeat he will pick up on that and may also respond that way.
I have moved my husband 3 times. Each time and place, he adapted to the change better than I did. He always loved going to new places and new experiences. For me the change was hard because I had to go through the process of getting to know the place and various workers again.
Thanks all for your comments and support. The actual move went very well. I just told him we were going to a new place the doctor wanted him to go to that would help him feel better. Before his illness, he did not think too much about doctors, but now when I tell him the doctor advised something, it seems to make him feel better. I made sure he knew it was not the hospital. He went with me very calmly. He will have a roommate which I think will be good for him. The aide kept him company while I filled out paperwork and then helped us unpack. She paid alot of attention to him. He was wandering around and interacting with her. He did seem concerned when I left like he was supposed to go with me. I asked the aide to distract him and I heard him laughing with her as I left. Time will tell how soon he adjusts, but I know he is in a better place. Now we will see what happens when he refuses to take off his darn pants! or go to the bathroom!
Alice, I'm glad that you had a successful move to the new facility. I hope that he gets excellent care there. And that you get the relief and relaxation that you need.