My DH has been hospitalized for 2 months to get his meds adjusted to make him less agitated and aggressive. Now he is going to be discharged next week and I have made arrangements for him to come back home. I truly believe that home is the best place for him both physically, emotionally, and most of all for his brain. I've fought to have him come home for months and now that he is, I am second guessing if it's the right decision. How will he adjust, will he remember home, who is the man/person who is returning, do I know him, will home really be the best place for him and many other questions. I've hired a live-in so I am confident that we can get him on a good home schedule, provide him opportunties to be outside, with the dog, playing basketball (he's 58 and very physically healthy and sports minded) and doing things he liked to do. Unfortunately he's significantly medicated to control behaviors and only seeing him 3 hours a week, I am not sure if he can get through the drug fog. Anyway, I'm excited and anxious at the same time, but I am hoping this is successful. I've been so afraid that while he was away he wouldn't remember me, but that hasn't happened. I guess I am selfish in a way, I know there will come a time when he will need more assistance than I can provide and we will have to make the facility decision, but until then I want to spend all the time I possibly can with him.
Thank you for listening - I know the members here understand the wild ride of dementia and the emotional ups and downs; family members no matter how caring and loving cannot fully understand what the disease does to a marriage. May each of you celebrate Thanksgiving in the way that is best for you and your LO's. Happy Thanksgiving - you are a wonderful community.
LFL, your DH is so young to be going through this. Hopefully his meds will work and you can have some quality time with him at home. Wishing you the best and hoping some others who have been through this will be along with some suggestions for you. I agree that this is a wonderful community.
LFL. I truly hope they have worked out his medications so you can have him at home. only time will tell if you made the right decision of course, if you see he has returning issues then you can take him in and rethink that scenario again. in the meantime wishing you the best of luck and hoping things work out for the best!divvi
LFL, we all have to make decisions for our spouses, and then try to second guess ourselves. You can only do what you think is best and try to make it work. Hopefully, you will have a Happy Thanksgiving, and this will turn out to be the right decision for this point of time. Remember that time and people change, and a few months from now, or a year or so from now, it might be time to make another decision. I'm with the others in wishing you the best and hoping things work out for you!
The only way to find out is to try. Bless you for looking at what is best for him, rather than worrying about what might be worse for you. That takes courage, and a lot of love.
It is so sweet, that you feel you are being selfish by wanting him home with you, even though you know it's going to be a challenge. I hope you have a wonderful and blessed Thanksgiving, and that homecoming next week is a joyous event.
Dear LFL: My DH was also confined for violent behavior, the decision was not mine--it was the police, but it was best for everyone, his meds were adjusted, he was calm, but as has already been stated, things continued to change. Did I ever 2nd guess myself? Oh, sure, 2nd, 3rd, 19th, 25th--on and on. One thing I learned for certain about AD is never criticize anyone for what they do, there is NO right or wrong, there is only a decision to be made at any given moment based on many, many different conditions for each of us at a particular time. You are looking at the options and doing the right thing for now and that's all you can do. You will always be able to change your mind, follow your instincts, trust yourself.
Thank you all for your wisdom and support. God bless you and your famlies. Happy Thanksgiving. And thanks for taking the time out of your busy schedules to help me with this transition and my doubts.
I am praying for the joyous homecoming event. Thanks, Sunshyne.