Today at the support group the neurologist who's administering some local trials was there to answer general questions about handling AD patients, etc. One poor guy is obviously intimidated by his mother. He keeps trying to get her to go to the neurologist, or her own doctor, and when the time comes she won't go. What should he do? The neurologist suggested that he take her for a drive, stop for some errand and then stop off at the doctor's saying that HE had something that needed to be checked out, and get her in that way. In other words, LIE about what was going on so she didn't get uptight about it ahead of time. He said he had a great nurse practitioner who worked with him who would use similar deceptions; she was a Dominican NUN. (I think FROM Dominica, not from the Dominican order if there is such for women) And so if the NUN would lie, we can too. I liked that. All of us who are going down the road nodded in agreement.
briegull, if it wasn't for all the white lies I tell my DH, I probably would be in the loony bin. This is the only way I can live with him and this dreaded disease.
Ever heard of "putting a spin" on something?--Spin Doctor's. Editing? Poetic license? Creative phrasing? Omission?
It's all about getting from here to there with the least upset and as much truth as possible. Not always the total truth.
Yet, sometimes a flat straight out truth is the best--to get the hurt of it out and adjusted to. "Your Alz means you can't drive anymore. It's not fair, but that's the way it is." Perhaps later followed with definitions of dangers--accidents, people hurt, lawsuits.
Just as with everything else about this disease--NOTHING STAYS THE SAME FOR LONG AND NOTHING WORKS FOR VERY LONG. We do what we must to get our LOs through and keep ourselves safe and sane in the process.
Yes, you are correct...there is such a thing as the Dominican Order of Nuns. I had them as teachers in primary school and a cousin who belonged to this order. They were/are among the last to give up the habit and many still where a full habit.
And, you are right about all of the other things regarding "creative" ways to get our LOs to do what needs to be done. As the saying goes...ya gotta do what ya gotta do.