I invite you to log onto the home page- www.thealzheimerspouse.com- and read today's blog about mood swings. It is my guess that many of you have experienced the same situations I wrote about. Please post comments and ideas here. Thank you.
joan-I am so sorry that your peace didn't last. It seems the disease will progress no matter what we do. Don't feel like a failure because you must have drug management for Sid. Coping with a different person everyday keeps us off balance and that is exhausting. Kind of waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I think the reason I read Joan's blog and the message board, is it makes me realize how fortunate I am that my DW stays calm except for the few times she has sundowners. She sleeps most of the day and night and when awake she has a good attitude and thanks me for everything I do. I know things could be so much worse and although I am confined to the house with her I appreciate our time together.
My wife's wild mood swings that began several years ago have been controlled nicely with low dosages of Paxil and Seroquel. Since she started those medications, her mood has been "almost normal." She is now late stage 6.
I recall that as late as the 1960's in Texas where I live, people with wild mood swings were sent to state mental institutions for life. They were judged hopelessly "insane."
Fortunately, the anti-depressant drugs changed everything. Let us be thankful that medications are a powerful option for mood swings.
I know how lucky I am. My husband went through all of the stages of emotion that this disease brings on, but not a new one every day. I experienced one violent episode that scared the living daylights out of me over driving. Mostly he is calm, and these days mostly happy. I get some grumpiness and mean spiritedness, but nothing like what Joan is experiencing.
The drugs are there to help the caregiver survive. Without the drugs we couldn't continue to live with our LOs as long as we do manage to live with them.
I'd like to point out that if Joan's husband is still fighting with her over the driving issue, something is not normal there as well. By now he should have given up and given in on that issue. I'd tell the doctor about that as well as the mood swings. It is very possible that if you get the mood swings under control the driving issue will also quiet down.
I agree with BillH. My DW (stage 6) stays calm most of the time, and usually agrees with whatever I want to do, including taking her to Day Care. When we are home and I am reading or at the computer, she sits in the chair next to me, usually sleeping. She also thanks me for helping her, and frequently states that she wants me to be happy. When we got back from Day Care today she gave me a hug and said "you are wonderful". This morning she even took her pills without too much problem. If I could just solve the night time incontinence my life would be better, but compared with what some of you are going through I have no complaints.
Joan - I am so sorry that you are going through all of the mood swings - that takes a huge toll on the caregiver. Neither my husband or I were the type to go for drugs - we questioned and questioned before even putting them in our mouths. Since the AD monster reared its head, I have developed an incredible appreciation for what the drugs can do.
My rule on the drugs is simple, keep the drugs to a minimum for where he is in the disease but not at the cost of him hurting himself or someone else.
I read somewhere that behavioral therapy can help. So, when my husband does something that isn't nice, I have told him to stop that that it wasn't nice and he is a nice person. Not only did that usually stop him, it would be a while before I saw that behavior again if I even saw it again.
My husband has never had mood swings, so I can't fathom what it must be like. If I try to keep my husband from going outside to pull weeds because it is too wet or cold, he ignores me and tries to go outside anyway. Distraction sometimes works. He has grown to accept the locked bedroom door, never getting mad about it either (a great relief since I can now sleep at night). All in all, my husband is more like Marsh's wife, except I don't have the nighttime incontinence yet. Just an occasional daytime accident.
The doctor gave me a prescription for Respiradol (not sure of the spelling) to give to my husband if he gets agitated over anything, and with the holidays and cruise coming up, I wanted to make certain if it would help him, if needed.
If you don't have any Respiradol, I would ask his doctor if he would prescribe it and try it once and see if it will stop his agitation. Or it could be his testosterone level is off as well. Have you had that checked? Where women have menopause (oh my, do/did we ever!), men have the equivalent, and AD doesn't keep it from happening. That is just a thought.
I'm sorry you are having to go through this. Just remember, this to will pass. Hopefully you won't have pulled your hair out first!
Thankfully my DH mood swings are not so extreme. He is still in the very mild stage tho. It is so difficult to deal with a disease where you have to keep experimenting with drugs to help with the huge mental deficits the disease causes. I am now visualizing that one video you posted Joan that shows the brain and the functions each area controls. It helps me focus on the fact it is a physical brain problem so I don't take all the negative comments personally. It is hard to shift gears tho when one day he is mad and then the next morning doesn't even remember.
I share your pain. My husband's mood swings drive me nuts. It is so hard to just take the disease and live with it in the moment. Although my husband still has his drivers licence, I drive everywhere. He thinks it is because I love to drive. I tell him I love to drive and it seems to work. However, he is the worst back seat driver I've every lived with. He is on me constantly. He points to tire remnants on the side of the highway and wants to miss it. He gets upset when I turn on the blinker - he never did until the last minute. He flies off the handle with any little thing. He gets depressed and the world is ending. Yesterday I hired help for 2 days a week. I had to tell him that my mother needs help (she lives with us) in order to have him consider it. Then, he was depressed because he wasn't helping me enough.
I'm learning new skills now, like plumbing. I've got 2 leaks (toilet and sink) that need to be fixed. He has no idea what to do so I am going through it. He is watching every single thing I'm doing. When I get to a point where I needed help, he wouldn't let me stop. Thank God I was on the alzheimers chat room last night. Someone there chatted with him and distracted him.
His moods are up, down, left, right, happy, crying, sad, angry. I never know what to expect. I agree, this is the male version of Sybil.
We must be married to the same man, Joan. No, actually, he usually calm and pleasant, but last night he finally realized that he will not be driving anymore, so.... now, just like your DH, he's no good, he might as well be dead, he can't do anything, he has nothing to do. yada, yada, yada. I'm getting tired of listening to him today. I just sat him in front of the TV, with an old movie on. i don't know how long that'll last. At least he ate some lunch with me.
Re the driving - For the present he isn't driving and seems to be ok with it. But the mood swings are very tiring. Not so much when they are happening, but my always having to have eyes all around my head 24/7 to see if there is anything that will set him off and try to avoid it. Sometimes they come out of the blue. He is on antidepressants as well as the AD meds. His mood changed for the better when he went on Namenda and Lexapro. He still has the mood swings, but not as often - most times about nothing or something he thought he heard - he bangs his head on the wall, goes into his office ( at home) and stays for about three days. Other than that he is very high functioning and very jolly - always joking, talking to strangers. He used to be very quiet and aloof. All of his doctors know this, so I guess there is nothing more that can be done.
PS - Thank you joang for being so open with your feelings. I had such a sense of relief and feeling understood as I was reading your posting. Knowing I am not alone is what gets me through the day. You are an angel. Don't forget you are to slow down - just a little. :-)