Thursday afternoon a friend drove DH and I to a convalescent center to visit two people we knew who were there. One is a lady who broke her hip and is getting therapy/rehabilitation so she can go home. She's very perky and it was a very fun visit.

The other visit wasn't so fun. The gentleman has had lung cancer dementia, diabetes, strokes and other things. He was completely incommunicative. He can no longer walk. Doesn't talk much. needs to be fed. He's very heavy and needs a Hoyer to get hiim in and out of bed and his wheelchair. His wife goes up every day from 10-3 to see that he gets the proper care and attention.

When we got home, DH was very sad. I asked him what was the matter and he said ht thought living in a place like that would be so boring and depressing. I agreed. He said he NEVER would want to go to a place like that. I agreed that I wouldn't either. We talked about taking really good care of ourselves. Good food, exercise, vitimans, etc. He does not seem to realize he has a problem. i just pray he never has to go. But, perhaps if he did, he souldn't realize it and could be relatively happy there.

I felt sad for our gentleman friend and his wife. She told me she is so lonely and tired of going there every day. I asked her if she had to go. She said she felt she did because if she didn't he wouldn't have anyone to visit with. She thinks he quit talking because there's nothing stimulating in the NH. That's not quite true. They have activity directors, games, movies, etc. He's just gone downhill. He refused therapy. She keeps hoping he'll get better and come home. I don't think she's accepted it yet.

((Mawzy)) How is your husband doing today? How are YOU? My step mom had to have major hip surgery this year and had to go into a local nursing home for rehabilitation. Lynn just loves her to pieces and had a very hard time visiting her there. He kept wanting to rescue her, and demanded to know "who put you here!" Every time we had to explain it was just for a couple of weeks. Lynn has zero recall, but let me tell you he didn't forget that!

In reading Understanding the Dementia Experience, I found out this is called emotionally mediated memory. It troubled him enough that he was able to hang onto it. For about four months every time he saw her he said, God I am glad you are out of THAT place! And continues to go on a rant how he would rather die than have to stay there. *sigh, God willing I will be able to keep my promise. My only solace is if I am forced to place him, it will because he had deteriorated to the point where he wouldn't know where he was. *double sigh