BTW, when I was in the hospital, the first few days, with the IV etc, they gave me this packet with several wipes in it, that they had put in the micro and it was nice and warm, and the directions told you,... take one and wash your face, another do your bottom, andother do your arms, etc.... Very nice, warm, and gave me a feeling of having bathed. Maybe they sell them in the surgical supply store. also, I have spray on dry shampoo for his hair, when it gets bad, and it does a nice job.

Latest technique for getting DH into the bath/shower:
I am always trying to get him to shower in the morning, since that's what he's always done. But lately it's been almost impossible. He gets up, and seems almost panicky to get dressed. Once he has his shirt on he seems to feel better and slows down. But not willing to get undressed again and bathe.
If I could get his Risperdal into him before he gets up in the morning, that would probably help. But there's no way he would lie in bed and wait for it to work.
A couple times it happened that he got quite sweaty after a bike ride and then was willing to take a shower later in the day. The last few days the weather has been bad for cycling and he's bored, so I've been suggesting a bath and he's been biting! At first he'll shrug his shoulders but a few minutes later it'll be "I thought you wanted to take a bath?"
And I don't mind, not a bad way to spend an hour on a rainy afternoon.

I need some suggestions on how to get the shampoo out of my husband's hair. He will wet it in the shower, shampoo it, however, will not rinse the shampoo out. The last 2 nights after pleading, begging & threatening I have poured water over his head. Not a happy camper! I had his hair cut real short, due to not rinsing it well after washing. But, the shampoo still needs to be rinsed out.

I have to shower my DH and I soap him all over including his hair then rinse all with a hand held shower control. Works good unless he picks up the sponge because then he soaps his hair all over again. We have been trying both showers over the past 2 weeks and now that he is walking better have discovered the regular tub with hand-held shower works best since we have to do all the work. I have a shower chair that extends over the side of the tub so he can slide in and out. Until recently he wouldn't "slide" but the aide today said he did and it was easier. You have to use a hand towel along the top of the seat where it extends outside in order to keep water from your bathroom floor.

kadee can you substitute the no rinse shampoo from the drugstore?? they sell it at walgreens. cvs stores but maybe others will have it. i have a bottle and use it in between showers. you dont have to rinse this one just towel dry it. it works pretty good, then also there are the bags that heat in the microwave and wash the hair as well like they use in the hospitals. i prefer the bottled stuff as its easier and you can have it in the shower and they dont know the difference:)

divvi

Mine doesn't mind standing in the tub with the water running, doesn't mind me washing him with a soapy washcloth. But when I take the shower sprayer off its mount and flip to that, he yells and shouts as I do it. He doesn't resist, he just yells. He LOVES to yell - I think after being the meek quiet professor for so many years, its cathartic for him. Yesterday the visiting nurse was out and I was showing her the rash he's been getting on his lower body and groin - basically diaper rash; we're treating it and it's going away - and he's shouting away, Ai AI AI AI - and she said we're not hurting you, and he grinned and looked sheepish! He just LOVES to make NOISE!! This would be difficult to indulge in a facility, I fear, and I can't get him to stop it unless I sing loudly, or whistle loudly, to drown it out.

As I mentioned above,my husband does not like to wash his hair. I bought the No Rinse Shampoo, even though he hates it, I have managed to use it a couple times a week.
His scalp has became dry & flaky. Any suggestions?

JeanetteB: A few weeks ago, my DW just didn't bathe. I think she just didn't think about it, so I would tell her that we were going to take a shower together and that was OK. This went on for two or three weeks and then, one day, she took a shower by herself. Ever since then, she showers alone, but, she might take two or three in one day and none for next day or two. So far, I just let it be. No harm done.

Oh Well, that will change soon too.

My wife and I have been in our travel trailer down near Corpus Christi enjoying some warmer weather. This morning I suggested that she take a shower while I walked the dog. When I came back I noticed something was wrong. Her Hair was not wet and I have noticed that her hair was not looking very good for a while. We have been down her for a month and she has never washed her hair. I think I am going to have to start bathing her. I do her nails, I dye her hair, I do her facial hair. I might as well bath her too.

DH is getting nearer to the no showering point. Argues that he's already showered, thank you.. when he has not. In re-reading through this topic..it helps to hear of the various remedies.. About the nails.I had not EVEN thought about toenails..until a couple of weeks ago..DH was complaining about his SHOE hurting his foot.. I took off his socks and good heavens..the toenails were wayyy longg. He wears socks constantly.. I can see his fingernails but hadn't actually LOOKED at his feet when he changed socks etc.. Oh mercy...I've never trimmed his toenails..not even when he was in the hospital for weeks.The nurses must have.. but I never even thought about it.. I sure will now. Eeghaddss.

Judy, I agree with Bluedaze. See if you can get a podiatrist to trim the nails. I have both mine and my wife's done by a podiatrist, who will make house calls, every 2 months. Medicare pays for this.

Jud- I have also seen some nail clinics in malls or in WalMart who do pedicures.... You might want to try that

to the top for newcomers

Another thread that has popped out of obscurity! Divvi, you crack me up! You are also after the pee crown, aren't you?!? When it comes to hygiene, I do it all.
Teeth - he has a full plate on top and a partial on the bottom. I put my finger to the side and back of his plate and it will pop right out. The partial I just pull out from the front. I brush the 3 teeth he has left on the bottom and if I take that toothbrush out once I am done because he will never let me put it back in. I use a small piece of paper towel soaked in mouthwash to wipe out the inside of his mouth from time to time since I am afraid he will swallow any mouthwash I pour in there or end up with mouthwash in his lungs. My next purchase will be those Listerine strips because his breath can be really foul.
Bathing - I take him in with me for a shower and that is in a regular tub so there is a little slow dancing going on at times. He is like any small child when it comes to washing the hair so I use shampoo with conditioner or baby shampoo or Avon hair & body when I just want to get it done. I used to try the "girlie smell/boy smell/don't touch me" speech, but that is useless so I have resigned myself to the fact that I may smell like the men's Avon choice of the day until this is over. I used to shower him every day, but less now as he is not doing anything to get dirty or sweaty.
Bathroom - first thing in the morning and the last thing before I try to tuck him in at night and watch for signs during the day. Dummy me used to put Depends on him AFTER he had an accident. Now he pretty much wears them all the time. He does not like them, but I can pull it off with the new gray ones. I have to remind him to poop. I wipe. If he poops, I have those flushable wipes to use.
Hair and nails - I cut the nails. Toenails are a little thicker and more difficult so I use the big clippers for those. Hair may take me several days because he cannot sit still. I am no barber, but it turns out ok. I just comb it and cut it pretty much the same length all over. I may do the top one day, the sides another day, and the back another day. He has a beard and moustache so I trim those too with the clippers with an attachment.
It's kinda like having my own life-size Ken doll with all the attachments that my mom would never buy me. So there, mom!!!

Mine poops, too! Just did. Didn't even rattle me. Lord, I am getting used to this. Sat him on the toilet and there it was! Moved the bath rug. Took off the Depends. Rolled it up. Got the spray cleaner and the paper towels. Cleaned the toilet and the floor. Got the flushable wipes and the toilet paper. Cleaned him up. Washed the hands. Put on a new Depends. Put him to bed. Took the Depends down and put it in a double Walmart bag. Hung it on the basement door. Put the bath rugs in the washer. Came up. Took the Depends out to the garbage. Done! I've got a damn system. Pathetic!!!

Linda Mc, you are one of my HEROES! I know that your journey is as difficult as everyone elses here, but you just seem to (as the commercial says) JUST DO IT! My DH is to the point where he doesn't comprehend most of what I say to him, so when I tell him he has to take a shower he won't. I'll say, “You need to take a shower.” & he says, “ Why? I fought for my country, army, navy, marines.” I tried to “help” him take his shorts off & he started swinging, so for the present time he won't be taking showers. He sleeps fully dressed & the past few days he won't change his clothes (I used to give him clean clothes after his shower), so last night while he was eating his ice cream I convinced him to change his clothes. Just another phase I'll have to adjust to.

divvi, you have served your 'kingdom' well! I guess you do need a 'rest'. LOL Now, LindaMc, you have your work cut out for you! But....I know you will do an outstanding job also!

Wait, Divvi, I think you were too willing to give up that crown!!!!! And after you worked so hard for it!
Elaine, hesitate and you're LOST! JUST DO IT!!! And if they don't comply, try again in five minutes or an hour. Lloyd is unwilling alot, but you would never believe how many times I can come and try the same thing again in five minutes and he has changed his mind...for whatever reason! And I pick my battles. Some are so not worth it. Cleaning up the poop...I fight that one and always win! Sleeping in clothes...nevermind!

Please don't forget your princess Linda, a tiara next to your crown. Yes you certainly deserve it, and I would personally not like to go beyond the Princess role. Loved your poop story!

today he took a poop and I was there to help him clean up. As he stood up from the toilet, another plop hit the floor, and I never even flinched!! Moved him out of the way, cleaned it and him up, and went on my merry way. Who knew?

Why is that?? We all did it for our children. That was one area I didn't have to deal with my dh was continent until the day he died. He also was mobile, though not steady on his feet, up until a week before he passed.

Yes...I understand it is a real problem for so many. I had always said it probably would have been the line in the sand for me, but fortunately I never had to find out what a chore it must be. You all deserve crowns.

You are right, Coco. If someone had asked me before I had to do it, I would've said "NO WAY!". Here I am! Lloyd is still mobile, but he is very unsteady at this point. If he falls, it is generally in the mornings for some reason. Maybe it just takes time for whatever is left of his brain to engage. Lot of headaches lately, too.

MaryinPA, I have been taking Lloyd in the shower with me for over a couple years now. It is the only way I know everything is getting clean. It is not a stall either, but a shower in the tub. He cannot do anything for himself anymore so I figure I may as well get in since I am going to get soaked anyhow. I don't ask. I just do.

Abby*, Lloyd doesn't like the water in his face in the shower. He invariably turns around and then he really ends up with water in his face. Of course, he damn near drowned when he was a teenager jumping in water at a strip mine. I imagine that is one of his memories that will never leave him!

Mim, cutting hair is cake. Getting them to sit still is the hard part. The same length thing all over works for me. Then I trim the bottom in the back and around his ears and shave the back of his neck with the clippers. The hardest thing is his moustache. He gets a little twitchy when I come at his lip with a pair of scissors. I see plenty of men walking around chewing on their moustaches, but I cannot stand it! YUCK!