I take my my husband to the podiatrist to get his toenails trimmed. I help him with his shower. I hand him his washcloth, he bathes himself. Then I make sure he is dry and help him put on his underwear and clothes. What was the lady talking about when she mentioned something fast to bathe with. I'm not familiar with this product. He seems to feel better after his bath. He is a very neat person and still very particular about his appearance. I take him to our dentist regularly for checkups and cleaning. Also check to see that he has put on deodorant. I got him a great Norelco razor that someone on this site recommended. So much easier than him trying to shave himself. He would forget what to put on his face to shave. With the electric razor he can do it all himself. I must say getting him out every day as much as possible helps both him and me. It is so good to go shopping, going to see friends, and having friends come in. If you've noticed, you will soon find out who your real friends are when someone in the family has AD. Very eye-opening! Good luck to any of you who are new to this site. It has done wonders for my depression that was getting so debilitating I could hardly get out of bed let alone get us both out. My husband has had the hardest time not being able to drive. I think after a few months he will get used to my driving. OF course, he's almost worn a hole in the floorboard reaching for a brake. God bless all of you who are living with someone who has this disease.
At present I get into the shower with my wife and we both take showers. I wash her back and she washes mine. Starting in January we won't be able to do that as we are moving to a smaller apartment which does not have a walk-in shower. I mentioned this to the director of the day care center she attends and was told they can give her a shower every time she is there, so I won't have to worry about that. An advantage of having a wife with AD is that we don't have to worry about shaving. For tooth brushing, I put the tooth paste on the brush and give it to her. Then she brushes while I do my teeth. This works very well.
I found that the Braun electric shaver with cleaner base was really easy to clean. You just pull off one piece after shaving and shake it in the sink and then put it in the base. It is easy for me to shave him, and sometimes he can do some of it himself. Somehow I can't help him shower without getting soaked, so the bathtub works well although he gets annoyed when I have to keep repeating in an attempt to get him to wash himself. Liquid soap in the bath helps things along. Am learning how to brush a tall man's teeth.....he only does the front and wonder if that was all he used to do!!! Will now try an electric toothbrush. It is amazing what one gets used to, and am letting go of expectations.....sort of......almost ......kinda...oy.
Does anyone have a recommendation for a showering soap that doesn't burn the eyes. My husband gets the bath wash in his eyes because he complains of his eyes burning. Has anyone tried baby wash? Maybe this is why some of them protest the showers!!!!
Lois, I bought Johnson & Johnson's Baby Bath and used it for my husband. I also used the baby shampoo on his head. But, it won't make the shower experience any better....trust me....been there....done that...!
lois, i have changed from reg soap and using now the cetaphil bar from the drugstore. its for hypo allergics for his skin so it doesnt 'itch' like regualr soap or dry the skin out- and use baby shampoo as well so it doesnt sting. but mostly just the soap on hair as well. its very good soap. 3dol a bar but his skin has improved alot. divvi
Thankfully, my husband LOVES to shower. Every night forever. Plus a sponge bath mornings. Odd, huh. The cetaphil bar divvi mentioned sounds good along with the baby wash, but I doubt if he can handle 2 soaps. He has started complaining of itching lately so I may have to do his hair and see if the cetaphil bar will help with the itching. Thanks all.
lmohr, the cetaphil will absolutely cure the itchy skin and smells devine. use it on his head too then. the baby 'washes' actually sting my husband more for some reason. i have had to give benedryl using some of those washes. they have other things in them that can cause allergy too. divvi
Sounds good. Also the pump - I think-. He has trouble holding to a bar of soap. I used to see a net bag to hold a bar of soap and I think you hung it around your neck but I haven't seen one lately.
Weirdly enough, many baby shampoos have formaldehyde in them -- incredibly toxic. If you're going to use baby shampoo, get some from Whole Foods or a natural food store, and make sure it doesn't have toxic chemicals in it.
Are you serious?? The government has taken formaldehyde out of carpet and upholstery products, I cannot believe they'd leave it in a product designed for use by a baby.
Yep. People who are chemically sensitive cannot use Johnson and Johnson's. Quaternium-15 is formaldehyde.
From Wikipedia:
Quaternium-15 is a quaternary ammonium salt used as a preservative in many cosmetics and industrial substances. It acts as a formaldehyde releaser. It can cause contact dermatitis, a symptom of an allergic reaction, especially in those with sensitive skin, on an infant's skin, or on sensitive areas such as the genitals.
It can be found under a variety of names, including: Dowicil 75; Dowicil 100; Dowco 184; Dowicide Q; 1-(3-Chloroallyl)-3,5,7-triaza-1-azoniaadamantane chloride; N-(3-chloroallyl) hexaminium chloride; hexamethylenetetramine chloroallyl chloride; 3,5,7-triaza-1-azoniaadamantane; 1-(3-chloroallyl)-chloride.
Also, while we're at it, if you drink diet soda that uses Nutrasweet, Nutrasweet over time degrades into 2 toxic chemicals, one of which is formaldehyde. There have been all kinds of reports to the FDA of people who got severe headaches from Nutrasweet. Also I remember hearing on the radio about a study that indicated that Nutrasweet can cause brain lesions.
My husband has been doing his own showering, running water or whatever for the last few months and I am happy to let him do it but last night upon close inspection while helping him dress I noticed areas of dirt on his back, feet and here and there other places so I soaped up a washcloth and scrubbed his back good and tonight I told him I was going to treat him to a good scrub. He is thrilled for me to say that. (I know I am lucky) He has a very hairy body and I told him washing his arms and legs was almost like washing his hair. His response was "tell me about it". So, those of you who are letting them shower themselves might want to do an inspection occasionally. I think once a month will be suffecient here and let them continue doing there own thing. I know there are some of you who are lucky to get them in the shower at all and I wouldn't push. They are already too dependent on us.
lois, LOL. poor DH. that much hair can be hot and irritating. can you shave some off without issues? i shave under my DH arms, its much easier! who doesnt enjoy a good back scrub? good for you, you are lucky he will let you can help him out! divvi
Imohr, good point about checking on the cleanliness. I have to be on hand when DH comes out of the shower or he will always come out without washing his hair. I just say "Oh, isn't there any Head & Shoulders in there?" and he will triumphantly find it and (usually) go back in to wash his hair. Once a week I can usually get him to share a bubble bath with me. This always used to be a festive occasion (back in the days when it was hard to find time to do it). I try to keep it festive so he will continue to be willing to do it. Then we wash each other's back. About shaving: do all men find this comforting? DH will sometimes get up in the middle of the night, shave, and then come back to bed. (I breath a silent prayer of relief when he comes back to bed instead of deciding to stay up.) Now he has taken to shaving his arms (and telling people about it) and since he's been wearing shorts this summer he often talks about wanting to shave his legs. I don't think he's actually done it yet. He is blond and isn't very hairy so the hair on his arms and legs hardly shows, so I don't know why it's bothering him all of a sudden. He's also gone back to lathering with a bowl of soap and a wooden-handled brush as he used to do many years ago before the cans of shaving cream became affordable here.
Jeanetteinholland. its not unusual for them to become obsessive about things especially on their bodies. i know alot of us have issues with spouses 'picking' at things and causing infections and bleedings or just picking at nothing. quite bizarre. but its obsessive-compulsive disorder from somewhere in the brain mechanisms stirring the pot. the hair issues may be one of yours now:) probably not an issue shaving arms but legs i dont think thats a good idea. the stubble will drive him more bananas. men dont associate stubbles on legs like beards i think esp with AD. if hes up at nite shaving, the shaving is an issue to alot of men and stubble is quite uncomfortable too, esp if the they have a heavy beard or at it for many yrs. mine feels very unkept without a daily shave and he looks/feels much relieved when its done right -and he runs his hand over it and i havent 'missed' some. very particular about the shave yessiree...:) you might leave a can of shaving creme and show him its there and what its for again. maybe hes forgot how to use it so hes gone back to soap? the little things that become a nuisance can become overwhelming over time- divvi
oh yeah when you turn around and think things are quite normal- something will strike their fancy and then the fun and games begin.:) good luck with the hair issues. i can say wanting to shave your legs, on a guy that sounds a bit bizarre unless hes an athelete like a swimmer:) haha. mine did the picking on sores until they bled. then the haircombing. he combed his hair incessantly during 2yrs and he had a hair transplant! lots came out during that time.. haha. lets see then there was the not taking his shoes off for another long period. couldnt pry them off even to get into bed. i had to setup a towel everynite so he could put his 'shoes' over the towel and not on bedding. boy i am glad that phase has gone. divvi
vickie by the time this journey is done i will be in such brain fog myself i wont remember much of it.. but i can relive alot here for sure! thanks, divvi
Finally got dh in the bathtub with me yesterday. I had to be devious and mean to accomplish it: I let him cycle home (a half hour trip) without reminding him to take off his jacket or sweater-vest, although it was a warm day. So he was all hot and sweaty and started taking his clothes off when we got home. I suggested a nice bath to cool off and he said OK! It was lovely and friendly.
But I noticed all kinds of angry red spots on his legs and asked him what was the matter. He said he had shaved the hair off his legs and that had caused the irritation! Very strange. I don't think he will do it again.
This is kinda relivent. Do you remember some time back when we talked about how they don't use up the bar of soap before throwing it away and getting another one? This happened with us for a time and then kind of stopped. Lately, DH is always telling me that we are almost out of bath soap. I noticed the the last four bars from the shower are put on the sink when it is only half used and a new one opened.
I take two of the half bars and "weld" them together and have a full bar that I use. This works great and the soap gets used up.
What is the problem with AD and bathing?? My DW always kept herself clean and well groomed. Now she doesn't ever think to take a shower unless I tell her that she said that she was going to shower (not true) and then she will take a shower and if I don't put her dirty cloths and underwear into the cloths hamper, she will put them back on. We also have a large walk in shower and she will take a shower with me if asked to. She washes and sets her hair almost everyday.
We use Nivia liquid body soap that also is a good shampoo. One product that does it all. I squirt a large (!) amount on the big wet sponge and it lathers beautifully and smells really good. To get him started, I help him wet his hair, and them put a squirt on his head..and he does the rest. That sponge filled with soap and water lasts throughout the shower. We have a shower bench in the shower for safety, and bars that help him raise up from the stool. All that being said, it is next to impossible to get him to agree to take a shower. After he's finished, he agrees he feels so much better. I wonder why all AD patients hate to take showers??? It's always a challenge in our home.
Personally I hate to take showers because I have trouble adjusting the water "just right". I hate cold water. If I had a shower head that would keep the perfect temperature I would like it. Anyone know of one like that. That may be one of the problems with those who don't want to shower.
This is weird. The last year of my Mom's life I noticed the light and white wash cloths she was using looked dirty all the time, like she was washing dirt of her body and not ringing the cloths. Now, I am noticing the same thing with my husband. They will not bleach clean. They shower every day and even if they don't wash good they are wet and wipe dry and don't do anything to get dirty. Has anyone else noticed this? I am starting to discard washcloths.
Good thoughts as usual. My wife has recently quit using soap. Just gets in the shower and gets wet. Since this is new, it is just one more thing that I've got to figure out what to do about it.
Well, I've started showering my husband with me so that I can get his hair shampooed and his body clean, and then dry us both, and dress him, then me before we leave the bedroom in the morning. He was beginning to get stubborn in the bathtub for afternoon baths, so I'm trying this instead. So far it is working. I hope it will continue. Who knows, with this disease!
Lois, I have a shower stall and I reach in and turn on the water before getting in, and stick my hand in after a half-minute to check the temperature before going in. It works for me!
dean--try a liquid body wash. A good squirt on the rag will lather up really well. She may be having trouble handling the bar soap. Hopefully, this will help for a while, but you may eventually have to help her wash down.
My DH's in-home helper showers and shampoos him. Basically, he stands there, turns or picks up his feet when asked. A few months ago he asked me tohelp him take an extra shower., I agreed to try. He got in the shower after adjusting the water, then sprayed himself down. Then he stood there. I stood on a towel in front of the shower stall, leaning against the wall as I lathered up his rag. Holding on to the gb bar with one hand, I tokd him to take the rag. He took it, and looked at me like: "Now what?" I told him to rub it all over his chest and arms, etc. We managed a fair, not perfect job. <lol>
My main problem with showering is getting him in there, he will take his clothes off most of the time without a fess, however, his underwear is another story, sometimes no problem, then other times it takes some time pleading/begging & whatever I can think of. After he gets in the shower no problems other than I noticed my husband wasn't using the bar soap, so we tried the Shower Gel/Wash, which he used for a little while on his own. Now he will only wash his arms, I help with the rest, by standing outside the shower stall. He will not dry himself, so I do that also.
OMG, this is so true. My DH will just wear the same underwear for a week. I really have to insist that it come off, and if he is in the shower (only get him in once a week, but heck, that 's an accomplishment, I have to quick grab what he took off, or he'll put it back on again. Socks too. and that's a problem. I haveto lie and tell him we have a date, or a dr's appt to get him to shower. I just don't understand, a man who has always been so fussy about himself and how he looks and now he just has no interest. i put clothes out for him to wear, but mostly he hangs out in whatever he wore to bed.
It has to be the AD. My husband is the same. He's very concerned about how he looks. Always asking if he looks o.k. BUT, if I didn't get involved he'd wear the same clothes every day, including the same sox and underwear. He's fussy about shaving but sure doesn't care about showering or washing his body. Seems like he only worries about what can be seen on the outside. He was never like that before.
We have one of those thermostatic faucets in the shower; we've had it for years and it is great. One point: it is set at a standard temperature but it's pretty simple to turn it higher or lower. Siem always used to turn it a little higher than I liked. Now I notice he's turning it down cooler. Also likes a cooler bath than I like.
Same problem here with not wanting to shower and with the dirty underwear and socks. He sleeps in his underpants so the only way to get them in the wash is on the rare occasions when he's in the shower. He'll fold them carefully and leave them on the edge of the sink to put back on when he gets out of the shower. So I sneak in and replace them with a clean pair. I remember the first time I noticed that dh was not changing socks any more. For years there would be seven pair of socks in the wash on Sat and seven underpants. One day (this was very early on) I noticed there was only one pair of socks. I could hardly believe it; then visions of "dirty old man" started dancing through my head and I practically panicked and called him to the laundry room and showed him the one pair of dirty socks. "Oh, well just let me help you" he said (this was before all empathy had fled his brain) and he went to his sock drawer and took out three pair of socks and handed them to me, saying "Here, maybe you could wash these." As if he had found a solution for MY problem of not having enough socks to wash. Well I told all my friends and we had a laugh and they admired me for my ability to laugh at the situation. But the laugh was on me. Later I realized that the socks that he was giving me out of his drawer were not clean, but dirty. When he goes to bed he takes off his socks, folds them carefully and puts them back in his sock drawer. Luckily he folds them together into a flat package like his mother used to, and I fold them differently when they come out of the wash. So now I simply go to his drawer on washday and take all the flat packages along to the washing machine!
showering used to be one of the pet peeves i had bigtime. no way to get him undressed and into the shower a couple of yrs ago. now moving into stage 7 and off all meds hes as docile as can be considering how he used to be . i can take his shirt but the pants and depends you have to wrestle off at times still-but once thats over he gets into the shower much easier if i have him get into the dry shower stall and sit on the shower chair WITHOUT any water until he is sitting. then i use a plastic waste can to allow the water to warm up wihout touching him while hes still sitting.. the spraying water seems to annoy the AD person alot- with this method i am getting 3-5 showers a week without issues. happy camper! divvi
What is it about bathing, and changing underwear. I washed clothes the other day and had one pair of his shorts and 7 t-shirts, 1 pr of socks and 7 hankies. I pointed that out to him and said we have to have 7 of each thing and he could help me out with that. I found 4 of his polo shirts wadded up and in the drawer with clean clothes. I just dumped the drawers and refolded and restacked everything. He thought that was really nice of me. Sigh.
But, I'm getting better at handling all of these little crises. Kind of challenging, isn't it.
Would it not be wonderful if there was a pill they could take that would allow them to take showers, change underwear/clothes, brush teeth, wash hair, wipe butt, go to bed without a fight, So everything is not such a challenge, caregiver would be a lot easier. I still can't figure out why my husband can tie his shoes, but doesn't remember to wipe his fanny. Call me stupid, but, I would much rather tie his shoes for him.
New twist on the dirty socks. Now there were no dirty socks in the laundry bin and also no dirty socks in his sock drawer??? I couldn't find them anywhere. Looking back, I realized he's been wearing the same pair for days. But he doesn't wear them to bed, so where were they? To find them I had to manage to be in the bedroom when he got undressed last night and saw him fold each sock carefully into a tiny wad and stick it way up in the toe of his shoe. Of course I removed them for the washing machine. This morning he complained that "they" had been stealing his socks out of his shoes.
My husband manages to have a shower without getting his face or hair wet. That's quite a feat in a small shower stall! Now I stand outside but keep peeking in and reminding him to wash his face and hair. Until recently he showered without prompting every night. Now I'm lucky if I can get him in there every third day. He doesn't do anything to work up a sweat so it's no big deal.