Just the past one to two months I've taken the plunge to calling in a caregiver agency. DH didn't like that idea on its face, but has, for the most part conceded that he needs someone here with him when I cannot be here.
Today I bought DH some depends......... and I only told him its for times when he is afraid he might have accidents, so he can feel more confident. Recently, DH has been having some rare accidents, and several "near" accidents, from lessening sphincter tone. He has been increasingly anxious about it, and at times is childlike trying to deny or hide his accidents. He doesn't mind the idea of using depends. Thank God. Matter of fact, 3 years ago (and he has NO recollection of this), just before he was diagnosed with AD he had some bowel issues and started wearing some depends that were among leftover Hospice items from when my Mom was alive. Bowel control issues were just another of a myriad of things following surgery/anesthesia, that directly lead to his eventual testing and diagnosis of AD.
It's the emotional catch-22, isn't it? I am very, very relieved that DH thus far consents to sitters and depends. But at the same time, these milestones were reached because of a very sad set of declines.
Yes unfortunately, i am also where you are too with sitters and depends everyday. i think its the lesser of the two evils?:) i dont think i'd have a sitter without the depends! ha. its a blessing your DH consents to the depends easily-you will find comfort knowing he feels less anxious about the near misses now. if it happens it happens-sadly its par for the course with AD and the declines we have to endure are relentless -divvi
Seroquel has worked wonders for Lynn. But, it hasn't helped getting him to use the depends. So far his accidents are not too bad, nothing like poor divvi has to deal with! I can only assume when he gets worse, his mind will too and the fight will be less. *sigh... yes it is all so sad :(
well those are two of my issues that I've been having some success with. But the two that have been wearing real hard on me........especially in the last month are:
demands to go home, because he doesn'[t belong here
wanting to see his mother, demanding to go to "Mom's"
I know we are all having these issues, but it has been making me so incredibly angry and impatient lately that I don't even like myself.
I don't know this is the place, but the strange happenings have arrived. I have not brought up having someone in...he isn't ready to deal with that, and the incontinence issue is not here as yet...and he is back into denial. He has balance problems..and that is ALL that is wrong with him. Whoa..I wasn't ready to go back this far. He has had a couple of blowups, but "They never happened". He would never swear or yell at me !!!Has anyone else experienced this? It is a bit like back to La La land. No point in pushing the actual situation, but I can't help but wonder if it is a phony reaction or truly not remembered.
We are entering a very stressful time with old dear friends coming for a short visit..two couples for a couple of days then we leave for a cruise. Too much at one time? Probably. Who knows...can't change any of it now.
Diana, you my friend need some respite! :) Now that I have actually had a few hours to myself I now know when I need a time out. For example, when his repetitive I want mom makes me frustrated, instead of the normal sadness it usually brings, I know it is time for a break. It is a heartbreaking disease, on them and on us. Make sure you take some time for you, refresh your soul so you can face another day. Thinking of you~Nikki
Thanks Nikki, I am getting that few hours on Wednesdays to go to my class, but it is actually a rush to get there and back. I like the class, and appreciate the time to go to it. But yeah, I would like some pure leisure time. I have some hours available, but haven't been able to schedule it in. I will though.
Kathy, Your schedule seems overwhelming to me. I just feel that cuz I know when DH has his episodes of being difficult I just fear having people around, or having any schedule or appointments to make. It is like I barely have enough energy to deal with DH's demands. He too denies that anything is wrong, and he can't remember two seconds after upsetting me, or upsetting a whole situation. I find myself believing sometimes that he knows exactly what he's doing to upset me and can conveniently "pretend" not to remember he said/did/implied anything wrong.
Yesterday DH gave the caregiver a bit of a stressful time. He got somewhat delusional, and very anxious. It was most unexpected, although I know the reality to "Expect the Unexpected." So far he has only had caregivers on Wednesday, yesterday being the third time. Same caregiver all three times, but yesterday was definitely a change.
I had left a message with the agency asking for someone for six hours today. No call back, and I've discovered now that when I leave a message I have to pres "1" or the message isn't sent. DANG!!! DH goes nuts, even alone for a short time. He gets anxious. I'm bummed to say the least, but perhaps if I call again lady luck will touch me and they'll have someone available for six hours. I gotta get a real break. Not just 4 hours to attend a 3 hour class. I'd like the time to do either "nothing, or anything I want."