What are the general feelings about handicapped tags. Mary is certainly handicapped by her dementia in that she can't go to and from the car without me to guide and direct her; but, her mobility is fine. Part of me feels that hadicapped tags should be reserved for those in wheelchairs or walkers who physically can not walk any distance, but obviously this is not the standard used by many other people. It would be convenient to have handicapped tags, particularly when the only spaces open at the day care are the handicapped ones.
The tags are issued for disabled persons who can't walk far safely and without significant assistance (person or appliances). I have one because of my neuromuscular disease and my hubby has one because he gets winded easily and is unstead on his feet (last relkates to his VaD). Originally, I felt as you did and would leave the spaces for those who "needed them more." Over time I observed that there were nearly always empty spaces. Even at the store at Christmas time and other high traffic times. I had to start using them more when my daughter was 2 1/2 because I'd take her out with me on Sat. mornings so hubby could sleep--worked 3rd shift. I couldn't walk safely holding her hand so would guide her with my hand ontop of her head. However, I didn't feel all that secure doing it that way for any grand distances. Years later now, I need the close parking because it's so much harder to walk. Hubby uses his as I said above, but as his dementia progresses I can see where that little hanger is going to mean more and more as whoever takes him somewhere has to keep track of him and get him to the vehicle. Most state require a medical statement of need to get a tag. If your wife's Dr. agrees, go for it. This is another small way to make your life easier
We got a tag for my husb when it became harder & harder for him to get to/from stores...we do try to park in non-handicapped spaces that are close, but sometimes, it's just not an option. Many many disabilities are not 'visable'...i am always "on guard" to let others know just that if anyone would want to challenge me about it. I help my husb into & out of the car, help him with his seatbelt, etc. Perhaps he doesn't 'look' disabled, but looks can be deceiving. I also try to keep this in mind when I see someone I don't think "looks disabled"...I am in favor of using the tags when/if you need them.
I keep his handicap tag in the car and always use it when he is going in with me. A lot of time he doesn't go in with me and I used to park with general parking until last month when he decided he needed to go to the bathroom and as I was checking out, looked up, and he was in the store.
He can only walk about 200' before having to sit a few minutes to relieve his back (spinal stenosis). I limit my time in the store to under 15 minutes.If he could walk more than he can I would not leave him in the car. This will have to be revisited as his dementia in this situation gets worse. He knows where the bathrooms are located at the places I stop. I have "friendly bathrooms" located all over town.
I have a tag for me. Originally I got it because I was using a walker and then a cane. I use neither at this time, but there are times when I get to the car when I'm not sure I'm steady enough to actually get into the driver's seat.
My husband probably would qualify for one because of his pacemaker. Physically he is in better shape than most people, but these days I'm using the handicapped spots almost as much for him as for me. He gets confused if we park too far from the store. The deeper we get into this disease, the more HE is going to need the hanger. I'm seriously considering getting a second one for him.
The hangers are not just for people who are in wheelchairs. They are intended for people who need to be close to stores, places of work, and places of worship, etc. because of medical reasons. Dementia qualifies, but so do a bunch of medical conditions that no one can see just by looking at someone. I mean, who can see that my left leg has gone totally numb and is headed to the extreme pain stage? There literally is nothing to see. How do you know that someone has a heart condition and the only reason he can get to the supermarket is that there is a handicapped space close enough that if he uses the store's bench as well, he can actually buy what he needs to live?
If your wife is at the can't walk unless she is guided stage, a handicapped parking space makes sense. Get one.
We got our tags just recently too. i keep it in the car and use it when my DH is with me in the child lock back seat. i have the wheelchair in back too for dr appt its just easier to wheel him in or if i go shopping. he can shutdown if hes tired or overwhelmed and its hard or impossible to pull him along if he gets this way to get back to the car. our dr readily agrees if they have issues with difficulty walking for more than a few paces, or like mine sometimes wont get out of the car - then you can get one for when your wife is with you. its wonderful not to have to exhaust DH just getting into places with all the walking. divvi
I brought up this topic months ago, and on advice from here, called the neurologist who was happy to fill out the form that allowed us to get handicap tags. I use them for my husband when he's with me. It's wonderful!!!!!
Mobility isn't the only issue -- safety needs to be considered, too. You and your wife may be endangered if she suddenly stops responding to your efforts to guide her.
See if the doctor will recommend the tag for her. If he does, then you can use it on a case-by-case basis, whenever you think it's necessary.
I agree with carosi, the handicapped spaces are rarely full. Why shouldn't you use them?
ps i jumped out to get some stamps at the post office and was parked in HCap with DH in tow in the back seat. the person approached me quite hostile and said 'you are definately not handicapped!" i was in shock, and then after regaining composure said, if you'd like to meet my husband he is in the backseat and suffers from alzheimers and refuses to get out of the car to come buy stamps to mail his bills. any questions???????? it was quite shocking i guess there are some folks who want to make waves...divvi
As with Mary, my wife's doctor was happy to fill out the form for a handicapped tag. She has some difficulty walking. If she is having a relatively "good" day, we park in a regular spot, but some days it makes most sense to park in the handicapped space. This gives us flexibility in parking. Even if your wife has no trouble walking, she needs to be guided, so a handicapped tag makes sense.
Sorry divvi but people can be so cruel just because they can. Chalk it up to the seagulls have pooped on their heads one to many times and they are mad at the world. I don't need the tag all the time but when my Asthama is acting up I even have to stop in the middle of the road and try to get my breath but other days I am fine don't use the tag and park in normal spots. They should walk a few steps in our shoes and maybe they would have some compassion and not jump to judge and accuse. Soapbox time is over.
Thanks. I didn't mean to cast aspersions on anyone here. I think my wife is at the stage where the tag may be appropriate since I can't drop her off at the curb and expect her to be there when I park and, yes, she may become less compliant over the next year or so.
I still feel that you folks with physical mobility problems need them more, so I'll try to use it only when we really need it. ( Or when all the other spaces at day care are full and I'm only walking her inside.) This is along the lines of what Natsmom was saying.
divvi--It takes all kinds. Once I drove down to a little neighborhood grocery for a couple things. I actually got the Hspot by the door. Came out, maybe 15 mins. later, got in and realized there was a paper under the wiper. I couldn't reach the piece of paper--another shopper got it for me. On it I was read a riot act for parking in the H spot. Keep in mind there were also Hplates on the truck and at that time I wore braces and walked funny. Admittedly, pickups aren't usually associated with Handicapped anything, but that poor person must have been blind not to see the plates and hanger. You have to qualify for them. Sure hope they weren't driving.
my husband has had the tag for a few years due to his knees. I used to get extremely embarrassed when he was still driving and would park in one of the handicap reserved spots when the kids and I were with him. I couldn' t stand it. He hasn't been driving for a year, and since I am the one behind the wheel I still feel embarrassed parking there. BUT, as time goes on, and I see my DH further deteriorating physically, I now try harder to put my own feelings aside and realize he does need the convenience of parking nearer the door. I still look to see if there is a NON handicap spot that is equally close and will use that one when possible.
Before I got my hanger I had a friend with one. She told me she used it when she needed it, and didn't use it when she didn't. As time went on, she got more and more disabled and actually ended up in a wheel chair for a while.
When I got mine, I was using a walker. I decided I'd do what she did. I used it when I needed it. These days, I'm using it more because my husband actually is the person who needs it. But there are times when I get to the car and I'm not sure I'm going to be able to pick up the strong leg so I can get into the car safely. And like I said, there is nothing you can see.
I have not experienced anything like what carosi has experienced. This area is filled with seniors with hangers most of whom don't have anything visible wrong with them until you see them coming back to the car and barely making it. I guess I must look pretty bad some of the time too.