After reading this and other caregivers forums, I’ve finally decided to join in! Brief history: Hubby is 85 and I am 68. Been married 35 yrs – best years of my life. His son is a neurologist (age 60) lives in AZ ; my adopted son (age 43, lives in Ft. Laud. FL), is Type I diabetes and is awaiting transplants of kidney and pancreas. In the fall of 2003, I began to notice little things about DH that made me wonder about ALZ. In Feb. we drove from KY to Panama City FL for a few days with his son/wife who were visiting there. I mentioned my concerns to his son, who observed him over the next few days, then we all had a talk about it. Hubby realized something was wrong with him. Drove on to Ft. Lauderdale to see my son; terrible trip. Lost his wallet 3 times but found it; was irritable all the way, and not good while there. Returned home, made Dr. appointment; tests were given, and Mild Cognitive Impairment was diagnosed. Started immediately on Aricept. He immediately began having nightmares, hallucinations and couldn’t sleep. Contacted the Aricept people and they suggested giving the Aricept only in the mornings. Did that and the nightmares stopped. For the next 2-3 years, things were about the same; then he started slipping slowly. Repeating questions, losing things, could not concentrate on his hobbies, etc. ALZ was diagnosed and Namenda was added in Feb. 2006. Was a little better, but began to go downhill again after a year. Last fall I cut his Aricept back to 5 mg in the mornings only. This past summer was awful in that he was so lethargic, would shuffle when walking, fell 3 times; then he and our Shih Tzu were out walking and were attacked by a huge german shepherd! Spent all summer trying to nurse DH and Millie back to some semblance of health. This set him back also, of course. Then in August, I cut his namenda to 10 mgs. In the mornings only.. He has been so much better since then! I retired 3 years ago to be with him and try to have some time together before what I KNEW would be in the immediate future. He takes care of himself, bathes, fixes his breakfast, lunch, helps me with dinner (he’s my sous chef!) Loves to chop things. I do pick out his clothes if we are going out – seems to be color-blind now. Thank God for the computer! He spends hours playing a wonderful golf game on it that talks to him, etc. and also poker, free cell, hearts, solitaire, and also does crossword puzzles. He had a car accident in 2006 and hasn’t driven since – he has been okay with that. He says he knows his reaction time is too slow to drive. We did renew his drivers license this past year – more for ID than anything. He never drives. Only other thing we don’t do anymore is travel – anywhere overnight. He just cannot handle that at all – and neither can I, so we don’t do it. And he quit drinking his glass of wine before dinner – it was putting him to sleep so early, then would wake up at midnight and up and down all night. Since not drinking the wine, he goes to bed round 9-10; sleeps pretty much through the night and is better during the day. I can leave him for a couple of hours during the day if it’s a good day – otherwise, he panics if he can’t find me. Cutting back on the Namenda and Aricept has worked wonders for him – no more weak spells, no shuffling while walking, more energy, etc. Still get the same question within 5 minutes, but I can handle that – I just answer again!
Sorry to be so long winded. I feel so fortunate when I read the other posts here. So many of you are going through hell and my heart goes out to you. I know my time will come and I’m so happy to have found this site! Bless you all on this journey.
Wow, you've certainly got enough on your plate. It's very sad, how many of our members have other family members with serious illnesses. I don't suppose you have any idea how long your son may have to wait for a donor?
You're going to have to enter your stats in our threads for the ages of spouses and caregivers ... Kadee is quite firm that she only includes info from the posts on those threads in her analyses. I tried entering Karie's age, and she wouldn't even accept that. <grin>
"What are the Age Groups" (that one's for AD spouses)
"Ages of the Caregivers"
We have quite a few May/December couples (including me.)
Also, if you'd like to weigh in on where you live, that's a fun thread... "Where are you From?"
Welcome Vickie, I am so sorry you have the need to join us, however, I am sure you will find everyone willing to give suggestions from their experiences. My husband is 57 years old, even though his memory problems started about 6 years ago, declining each year. After many test he was diagnosed with FTD this summer. I am also sorry your son is having such medical problems. I know waiting is very hard, my brother had a liver transplant last year. Again Welcome.
Welcome Vickie and what a journey it is but as Sunshyne says were are a family and becoming close really does help. We don't criticize but are always here to listen when you need to vent or share or help someone else along the way.
Thanks to you all for welcoming me. I've been reading your posts for quite awhile so I know how helpful you all are. Hopefully, I will be able to help someone too!
Well, geeze, Mom, it's not like I've been googling the entire world-wide web to uncover carefully guarded secrets ... just a wee bit of "searching" on Spouse. Tiny, itty bit. Soooooo small. And I stopped when you laid down the law. :-)
Your tables are quite fascinating, Kadee, and I (like everyone else) very much appreciate your making the effort for us. I just figure if they've already disclosed their ages on other threads, they must not be terribly sensitive about the subject, so what's the harm including all known stats in a generic table like yours, which doesn't directly name people in each category? It's actually even more discrete to locate the ages in other threads, so the detailed info is not all gathered in one place.
Sunshyne, I am hoping that since I update & send to the top for new members, that any member who has not replied will. Also, it is an easy way for me to keep track. On the down side....I always hate when I update, thats mean another person is living with this terrible disease. :>(
So, I shall continue pointing the threads out to newbies, and sending them to the top when you don't have a chance. (I do think you ought to make an exception and include Karie in your table, though ... so terribly young. My heart just breaks for her.)
Another welcome, Vickie. I also read a long time before posting. Somehow it helps, though, to start taking part in the discussions and tell our own story. So sorry about your son. Hope he can get a transplant soon. It's hard to keep your chin up when you're dealing with other things in addition to AD. Just taking part here will help. Everyone understands.
Welcome Vickie- it helps bunches to be able to put into writing our fears and questions with regards to caregiving and AD. there is always someone who comes to the rescue and comforts and supports us when we need it. glad you are joining, divvi
Thank you all. My DH seems to be doing so well since cutting back on the Namenda, I'm sure I don't have it as rough as most of you. A couple of things: When traveling (which I don't do much of anymore), never had to worry about telling anyone about his ALZ. He always told EVERYONE. Waiters, motel personnel, etc. It's almost funny, but he tells everyone - even people we know who already know! I think it's his way of letting them know if he says/does something unusual, they will know why.
My son has been taken OFF the transplant list for now. Kind of strange - when he was Mayo getting tested, his kidney function rose to 25% - which took him off the list. Doctors don't know why except that he is doing everything they tell him to do. Now he is waiting to be tested at Emory in Atlanta, but since his function is now at 23%, they will have to wait until it bottoms to around 18%. So---another roller coaster, but a good thing with his kidney function raising.
We have no family here in this area, so I'm pretty much on my own, but so far so good. I can deal with right now - and as to the future??? No one knows that.
Vickie, how often does your son have to have his function taken? Once a day, twice a day? Does he have to have dialysis? My prayers include him and your husband!
My husband also used to tell people he had AD. Now, he looks at them and nods when I tell them. <grin>
Mary: Don't know exactly how often - just know he has to see doctors so often! He goes to Cleveland Clinic in Ft. Lauderdale, FL- has wonderful docs. He is n ot on dialysis yet thank goodness - but will have to if function gets too low. Thanks for asking and your prayers.