I've noticed a slow but steady decline in my DH for the last 4-6 weeks. Tonight he couldn't remember what he'd done for a living. Our son reminded him that he'd been a machinest for 38-1/2 years. He was news to him. Our son reminded him of some of the major projects he'd worked on. i.e., an airplane on the ground in Ireland on Thanksgiving Day and he had to go in and make a hand made special part for the plane. The part was then sent to Ireland and the plane was able to fly. It was all very exciting and we all wanted to hear all about this. He didn't recalll the incident at all. What an awful loss--an entire career. I feel so sad for him. Oddly, he doesn't seem to feel sad at all. Perhaps that's a blessing.
awww Mawzy it is so sad isn't it. In this particular case, it is harder on you than him. If there can be a blessing with AD, it is when they no longer know what is happening to them.
My husband worked for a large computer company for 34 years. The job he recalls is working in a drugstore as a teenager. His new internist recently asked him what he he had done for a living. He couldn't remember, but said I was a white collar worker. He couldn't remember how old he was, either. Recently, we were talking about the housing crisis and I mentioned our first home which we bought with a $500 down payment. He asked me where it was. He could not remember it. It makes me so sad that he forgets so much of what we shared. He on the other hand does not seem at all bothered. I guess that is a blessing.
Last night as I was trying to get him to take his sleeping pills and he was becoming irratated and defensive, I just had this absolute overwhelming loss and sadness come over me that I could hardly contain. After over 11 years of this, for the first time, something came to me. My DH wouldn't let you treat me like this. I thought my heart would break and the tears just were uncontrolable. I wanted so badly for him to be him at that moment and just love me like he used to. I know this is feeling sorry for myself but at this point, I don't care. I am so sad and empty and so very much wanting what we had. He too doesn't remember anything let alone where he worked or what he did and he was quite successful and such a proud man. He doesn't remember our life at all........not when or where we met.......not when we got married.......not our children........nothing!!!! How can he? He can't even remember how to get out of the bed or put a spoon to his mouth or sit on the toilet or shower himself or comb his hair........nothing. He doesn't remember how to do normal human things and no longer remembers how to live in this world. Oh God, I miss him so.
Anitalynn, I feel so sad for you and others in like circumstances. It has to be the most awful, hurting, aching feeling. I pray we'll all come through these times in "one piece."
Anitalynn, I know your husband isn't able to show you, but somewhere deep inside, he does know you and he does love you, and he does know that you are taking care of him.
My mother had not recognized anyone, including my father, for a couple of years, and she had difficulty talking intelligibly. I hadn't seen her for a while -- I lived across the country from my parents, and they lived in a tiny town that was very hard to get to. My father asked me to come stay with her for a couple of weeks while he was in the hospital. She was in a nursing home, but he had never been apart from her from a single day in all the years they'd been married, and he couldn't bear the thought of no one being with her except the NH staff.
When I walked up to my mother, her eyes lit up and she called me by her pet name for me, and spent the rest of the afternoon talking -- perhaps not very articulately but I could still tell what she meant -- about fond memories from when I was growing up.
Her ability to recognize me or talk with me appeared to be gone the next day ... but obviously, it had to still be there somewhere.
From Sunshyne's posting, it looks as if the old memories come and go. I'm hoping his memories about his work will come back. Our one son from Missouri is coming out for a visit the first week in November. I hope DH can remember some really good stuff. That would be nice. However, if he doesn't, that's ok, too. This disease is what it is. It's awful! But,....enough said. Thanks for writing.
My husband does not seem to remember our love and what we meant to each other either. It seems that the more I do the more he expects but I never get a hug or a smile or any kind of thank you. When I try to talk to him about what is going on in our lives and how I am trying to help him but that I miss our old life he shuts me out by turning his back or leaving the room. However, the other night I spoke with my sister on the phone and she was going through her own personal troubles. I felt so bad that I could not help her, I couldn't leave my husband to even go be with her and give her emotional support. After hanging up the phone, I lay down in bed and started to cry for her. My husband turned to me and put his arms around me and patted my back for the first time in months. It was like he couldn't support me when I was feeling sorry for myself or for us but he could comfort me when I was feeling sorry for someone else
Someone at my support group asked if my wife remembered my name. I thought she did, but I have asked her several times since then and she can't say my name. We have a very affectionate relationship and she constantly tells me that she loves me, but she doesn't remember my name.
baltobob - My husb doesn't remember my name either, altho he too tells me constantly that he love me...and, when I am gone & come back (fill-in caregiver here), he "lights up" and I get a HUGE hug most of the time...so I do know that he "remembers" me, or that he @ least remembers that he enjoys what I do for him & am for him...I try to remember this & I am encouraged to GO more & more because of the reward that awaits me when I return. I miss my husband too, Anitalynn...I feel exactly like you do!! I just "miss" our old life...We are not to the extent you are just yet, but we are so close it is hard to read what you are dealing with....look for the "little things", no matter how small, and try to enjoy these when you see them & can. Take care of you...
Bob I had the same thing happen to me this past week. I was SO sure Lynn had no trouble with my name. But, my sister was here for a visit last week. He "knew" her but not her name. His face lit up every time he saw her. It was great!
It got me to thinking about how he always calls me angel face hun or sweety. Rarely my name. Though my other sister said while I am gone he asks hundreds of times "where is Nikki" So, I had to test it, and now wish I hadn't. He could not recall my name and he got very flustered about it too! Broke my damn heart. The next day he DID recall my name.... it is a gift I plan to treasure while it lasts *sigh
Our kids came over on Saturday to paint the living room. He got rather agitated and said he was hungry. So I fixed him a bite to eat and he wanted to take it downstairs. I went down a little later and he was watching kids' cartoons and holding the cat. He wouldn't come upstairs. When son and I went to Lowe's Hrdware, we asked him if he wanted to come along. He refused to come with us. He stayed down there all day long. But, he loves the new paint. Told the kids later what a nice job they'd done and bragged about all their hard work to some friends at church on Sunday. He wasn't interested in picking out new baseboards, crown molding, or door casings. That surprised me a little bit but not too much. He's withdrawing more all the time. Very sad.
The other day someone said something funny. He asked me what that was all about. I tried to explain the humor/joke to him but he got really confused. I tried to find a gracious way to change the subject. He always loved a good joke. This is sad, too.
A couple of weeks ago we went to my DH's neuro and after the mini tests he said he was still in the mild stage of AZ. I am not so sure...we were going for our Flu shots on Wednesday and before we left DH had to write down our address and phone number which I had to tell him! He messed up filling out a form for the flu shot and had to get another.
Yesterday he was writing out a birthday card for his sister and had to use a piece of paper first to write out what he wanted to say. When he was filling in the address on the envelope he made a mistake, got mad and tore up the envelope and the card. Of course after a while he had to walk to the drug store to get another card. When he came back he said he got the same card, which it wasn't! It was nothing like the one he tore up. Are these signs that he is getting worse and if so can it happen within a couple of weeks of seeing the neuro?
BTW, I am not new here I have just changed my name for personal reasons!