I new here to the forum and have had a few times today that I could actually read some of the previous post. In several, some of you mention your spouse's still drive, When Dh was diagnosed I was told to stop him from driving ASP. Thank goodness he has been pretty good with that change. Which I thought would be harder on him than it's been, ( I think there may have been a few issues that he hasn't told me about) anyway, is it ok to let them still drive? I was told that because to the diagnosis it now became a liability to let him. Example- a bartender and a bar owner let a patron get drunk then let him drive away from the bar, they are liable cause they knew the patron was drunk. So that would make me and our insurance liable cause we know he has Alzheimer's and was told that I could lose everything if he was in a accident and the other party found out he had been diagnosed and I let him drive anyway. So how do you all get around it? Just wondering. Of course I wouldn't if I thought he would be a risk to himself or others but it has been so hard running him everywhere, I truly don't get much done. It would be nice if he could run himself to the hardware store etc. Your thoughts? Thanks! Rk
Be very happy that your husband isn't giving you a problem about not driving. Three doctors said that my husband shouldn't drive. Once in awhile he will say that they didn't say it to him but he doesn't give me any problem. I'm very thankful for that. Some husbands really give their spouses a hard time about it. Ask Joang.
There is a topic here about driving. You are indeed lucky although its a trade-off. Safety vs a new kind of inconvenience. Driving Mr/Mrs. DH?DW. I think its wonderful if a dr. can convince a patient to quit driving BEFORE their 'reasoners are broken' and they can't realize or understand the huge risks they pose to their families and everyone else.
Yes Carolyn, I actually just found a post about the subject, But that post didn't dwell on the liability of it. That's really what I am wondering about. I am so Thankful he hasn't fought me on it. He does mention it once in awhile, but hasn't driven off, yet anyway. It's just sometimes he wants or needs something from right around the corner. I have to stop what I am doing and run and get it. I was just wondering how they get around the legal aspects of it. Rk
Rk, My husband hasn't driven since June of last year. He had been driving to the golf course which I thought was okay, until he got lost for 1 1/2 hrs. 5 miles from home. Then I only let him drive when I was in car, however, after the day he ran a red light because there wasn't anything coming & had no clue which lane he should be in, his driving stopped that day. I didn't want to take a chance that he would hurt someone else or himself. If he was in an accident the police would have taken him to jail, there was no way he could have explained what happen, I am sure they would have thought he was drunk. Plus the liability is another story. He balked at first, couldn't understand why if he had a valid license why he couldn't drive. I miss him driving....it is not my favorite thing to do, however, there is no way he will drive again.
Rk-you could be sneaky. Use a phone that isn't yours and call your insurance company just to ask an innocent question about driving with a diagnosis of dementia.
My husband's doctor told him that there was a serious liability issue--with a diagnosis of dementia if there was a lawsuit you would lose. The doctor suggested getting a driving evaluation as some protection. So my husband went to an occupational therapist at a rehab hospital who does driving evaluations. Insurance doesn't pay--it costs $500. It was about 3 hours of testing first on a computer and then out on the road. She wrote a report saying he was still a safe driver and gave him a couple of suggestions. The report says that he should be retested in a year. I don't know if that would stand up in court, but it looks pretty good to me.
Rk, don't take a chance....would you be able to handle it if there was an accident and innocent people were injured or killed. I know it is a pain in the @ss to have to run errands, but the alternative is too scary. Consider yourself very lucky that you have already gotten over the "no-driving" hurdle. I am sure your insurance company would ask to see your husband's medical records if an accident happened....at soon as they saw that he had diminished capacity and was allowed to drive without their knowledge, I would almost bet they would not want to pay that claim. I don't think anyone "gets around it", the affecteds who are still driving are taking a big chance. I would be interested if anyone who has an LO still driving has gotten approval from their insurance company.
There is a discussion topic here called - "The Driving Issue- How do you handle it?" I think at this count, it is SIX pages long, which will give you an idea of just how hot a topic it is. You can find it by writing it in the "search" section above, but basically, it is a HUGE liability to have someone with AD driving. Everyone here knows that is the one issue that almost caused me to have a complete nervous breakdown, because my husband went totally ballistic on me over it. For just a small sampling of "the driving issue", go to the home page - www.thealzheimerspouse.com- click on "previous blogs", and read #223, 231,245, and 288. If the doctor hadn't finally put Sid on an anti-depressant, I would have ended up in the hospital with a stroke.
And some people have no problems at all - their spouses give up driving without a fight.
I am not taking a chance, I was just wondering how everyone else is getting around the liability issue? As I said in my first post, we were told to stop and he has, but others here say their spouses are still driving, I am just wondering how? I can't tell you how nice it would be, and would never let him if I thought he was a danger but it would sure be nice if he could, he stopped because we were told it's a liability. Thats why I am asking how they are getting around the liability issue? Rk
We were told the same thing at diagnosis...if my husband were to be driving, no matter who was technically at fault in case of an accident, we would be liable ;actually, not we, but me! For allowing him to drive after diagnosis, and putting other people in jeopardy. I was told our insurance would not pay off, because if I were to tell them of his diagnosis, they would cancel him. In no way was I going to allow him to drive and put us in financial risk, besides all the other risks involved. I also was fortunate that he did not fight me too much on the issue. He was in early moderate stage at the time, and seemed to be able to grasp the risks involved, though I certainly had to remind him a lot (no, I know you're a good driver ...something of a fib at that point...we just don't dare take the risk financially. It some ways it made giving up driving easier, because the focus could be off his driving, getting lost, etc and on to the other guy's bad driving causing an accident and we would be liable. So,yes. Rk-we were told the same thing.
My DH was diagnosed in 2004 and was not told to stop driving. One year later, the neurologist advised him to stop driving or to at least get a private driver evaluation (cost not covered by health insurance). My husband was very angry and refused to go for the evaluation three times. I told him in 2006 that I would no longer be his passenger when he drove. That meant that I did most of the driving, but we still had 2 cars.
Early this year, I asked the neurologist to provide a statement for me to give to DMV. When DMV received that, they suspended (not revoked) my husband's license due to medical condition. I had been very concerned about the safety and liability issues, so that was a great relief. Turns out that doctors don't automatically direct people to contact DMV. I wish I had asked for the statement in 2005! My husband is in late stage 5 now and forgets that he doesn't have a license at times. He hasn't driven since surrendering his license.
RK. They're getting away with it because they're not getting caught. For whatever reason--denial, unwillingness to confront and stand their ground, fear of how their LO will react--they chose to take a huge chance that there will be no accident, no legal action, no one hurt or killed.
I have found that a lot of Doctors won't put themselves on the line about this, but will refer the person to the Rehab places which do the testing for those wanting to resume driving after a major illness or injury. Then the Dr. will complete the medical report that is a portion of the testing process. On my LO's "dementia" and some of it's symptoms were repeated frequently. These are BIG RED FLAGS to the Secretary of State's Office. Because his report wasn't in the acceptable range, they didn't even let him do the rest of the testing. He has a State ID.
I also had to research this and found: In the State of Michigan, if a motorized conveyance is road capable (speed and distance), the operator must be licensed. This includes those popular little scooters and the large mobility chairs and scooters.
Frankly, I'm glad my LO is no longer driving for another reason. He'll never be on a "Silver Alert" for heading to the hardware and getting lost. I just have to worry about how far he might walk; if he might get on a bus or 'hitch' a ride. He's done the last before.
RK - My H has not driven for a year or more. His Neuro wanted him off the road, off all power tools, tractors, lawn mowers, etc. I had already taken him off night driving because lights blinded and confused him. She told him he had to stop driving and told me she would advise the authorities if I wanted her to, but I told her I would take care of it. He heard her tell him. He argued with her that he was a better driver than a lot of other people. She told him she didn't doubt that but she was worried about other drivers doing something wrong and his response time lacking might cause death or a serious accident. He accepted that. last year one time he mowed part of the lawn with our riding mower, which I wasn't happy about but let him do it and he hasn't been back on it sense. We bought a golf cart a couple years ago for him to have some mobility on our 22 acres and he has really enjoyed that. He can visit 3 or 4 neighbors in our rural area within 2000', without going near the road. Now he only goes from the garage to the garden about 100' and seldom does that.
Basicallly, anyone with a drivers license can drive as long as they don't get caught. You see or hear of people driving, drunk, road rage or whatever. When they get caught they are fined, jailed on their record, etc. We as spouses are morally expected to control what our demented spouse or (children) can do, for the health and safety of themselves and others. Also, lawsuits can bankrupt a family. It is a hard decision to make. I know of a few elderly dementia people driving in my area, who shouldn't be on the road. I also know of a few drunks who shouldn't be on the road.
We still know that we can't trust him 100% to not drive so we keep 1 set of car keys (hidden) in each vehicle, including the golf cart.
Joang, can you move this whole thread to the one "driving issues"?
Another thought....I would worry about the driving evaluations. I am sure on certain days...which could be the day my husband was tested that he would do fine on a driving test, pass with no problems. Then there would be days when he should never drive, be in an accident or stopped my the police for driving in the middle of the lanes, because he wasn't sure which one he should use. How do you know whether it is a good day to drive or not. I am sure at the time my husband didn't think he ever did anything unsafe.
It's too long now to move - I just added driving to the title of the topic, so people would know what is about. Now if you do a "search" on driving, both discussions will come up.
OK, the liability issue. In California there was a ruling that as soon as there was a diagnoses that the patient had to stop driving immediately, which I believe has been changed. In Pennsylvania our neurologist reported my husband to the DMV at the point when he needed to stop driving. In other states the doctors will report or will refuse to report depending on what the law is. Every state has different laws.
Most people don't get diagnosed before stage 4 or 5, and at some point in stage 4 or 5 they DO need to stop driving. But occasionally someone gets diagnosed in stage 2 or 3, and there is no reason for them to stop driving since they are more than competent to do so. At stage 3 my husband was still working at a difficult and complex job. At stage 4 he travelled from the East Coast of the US to Australia and back ALONE. We didn't know he had dementia when those things were happening but he still did do those things. As early diagnosis begins to take effect, and there is a real movement to diagnose earlier and earlier, there are going to be more people who have been diagnosed who are living relatively normal lives. Until the middle of Stage 5, most patients can live independently with no problems.
Basically for Rk, if his doctor told him to stop driving, and he has done so without fighting it, you are ahead of the game. If you read the other thread you will see that I had a single very violent episode with my mostly non-violent husband over driving. Other people had a much harder time. If he has already stopped driving, DO NOT allow him to start again.
Rk, may I emphasize what others have already said: people are "getting away with" letting their ADLOs drive because the ADLO hasn't been in a serious accident yet. I realize it's inconvenient to stop them driving, I realize the ADLO may go bonkers, but those are excuses for not accepting responsibility for what absolutely needs to be done.
You will lose any lawsuit the second it comes out the driver has AD.
My husband's neuro told us she had to notify the DMV when she diagnosed him. He had just taken his driver's test to renew his license two weeks earlier, and aced it. Either she forgot, or the DMV felt that he could continue to drive since he'd done so well on the test. That was three years ago, and he still holds a valid license.
I knew, however, that if something unexpected happened on the road, if there were a crisis, he might not make the right choice or might not respond quickly enough. That had happened a couple of times long before he was diagnosed, and I couldn't understand it -- he'd always been an excellent driver.
Now I knew that, whether or not his routine driving was fine, he could not handle an emergency, and I knew why.
I didn't care whether DMV forced him to stop or not. I stopped him from driving the second I knew what was wrong with him. Fortunately, my husband has been an angel about it. Sure, there are times when I would SO love to have him run an errand, but it isn't going to happen. I could never live with myself if he were hurt, or if he hurt someone else, no matter who ended up being held liable.
I lucked out. When doc notified the DMV, required in CA, my DH still had enough reasoning power to say, "If I got in an accident, my fault or not, & they got my med records, we could be wiped out." That's true, everywhere, It was hard on me, as others have found out, doing everything, including the driving, but the possible alternative is much worse. The driving test given to see if they still qualify as a good driver, as mentioned here, do not really assess their cognitive abilities. My DH could still drive, but we both had noticed his driving habits changing. At the DMV he was not given a driving test, but was taken alone into a room and I always felt they gave him a cognitive test--maybe something like an MMSE, and he failed. It's not the driving per se, it' making split second decisions and changes in vision that have nothing to do w/eyeglasses.
Some warning signs of unsafe driving problems are: confusing the gas and brake pedal; failing to notice stop signs or signals; loss of confidence while driving; riding the brake; others honking their horns; hitting curbs; scrapes on the car, mailbox or garage; driving too slow; confusion at exits; using a co-pilot; getting lost in familiar places. Other telltale signs of driving safety do not have to happen on the road. If someone is having trouble reading, cooking, getting dressed, using the TV remote or the phone, unable to find things they always found before, trying to repair things in an inappropriate way—and certainly if there has been any decline in any mental tests doctors administer--all these things transfer to the inability of safely operating the car. It usually becomes obvious to the driver and to his family. It is not surprising that many try to hide it and don’t think it is all that serious. But, sadly for everyone, it is.
Like Starling pointed out, some people are being diagnosed so early that their driving skills may still not be affected e.g. at the MCI stage or earlier. My DH, since he has EFad, was diagnosed much earlier than the average person and when he was still able to drive safely, travel alone etc. His doctor and neurologist also thought he was safe based on his cognitive testing, reflexes etc. I also felt very safe with his driving at that point in time. He also went to his insurance agent and told him about the dx. The agent said there would not be a problem insurance coverage while he was only mildly affected. However, things have changed and my DH drives much less. He usually drives just to the store and back. I would say he is in stage 3 now.
I told DH's PCP, he wrote a letter to the DMV. When he received the letter from the DMV telling him he had to have his driving skills tested, he ranted and raved for 2-3 days then said he would surrender the licence. Which he did. I'm so grateful. No fuss, no muss. I sold his pickup and it's over with. He doesn't mention it at all except to tell you that he's a better driver than half the people on the road but he was descriminated against because of his age. 82.
"It's not the driving per se, it's making split second decisions and changes in vision that have nothing to do w/eyeglasses."
EXACTLY.
The first symptom my husband displayed that I can recall -- although I didn't understand what it was at the time -- was a change in vision. On the highway, he started coming up from behind on cars too quickly. When he was much too close for comfort, he would suddenly jam on the brakes, and comment that the other car had suddenly slowed, which it had not.
If he had glanced away at the wrong time, we would have been in a nasty wreck. But no driver's test is going to detect this symptom, which is fairly common in AD patients.
RK, there is no getting around the liability associated with alzheimers, period. no matter what the circumstances. even if a person is "fairly new to diagosed" like Sunshyne says we have NO way of knowing when or where things concerning cognitive reasoning will change of be affected. think of yourself as a juror on a death case that the AD driver was only in 'early stage: dementia-poof! i seriously doubt any reasonable person on the jury would not hold the AD driver liable for damages because there was ALWAYS a possibility his reasoning factors were not the same as when a cognitive 'testing' WAS performed whatever the date. my husband was a dang good atty i saw him make mincemeat out of nothing all the time, he says lawyers salivate over a slamdunk case- and it wouldnt even take a very good one to make a case out of an AD victim involved in any accident. so getting around liability issues is a spoof. you are always liable if you are behind the wheel, AD or not, it just makes it easy to make a case against someone who has a mental disease. the ones still driving have not informed there insurance companies yet they have been diagnosed, or they maybe driving without insurance all together which is a double jeopardy. FYI- when you renew licensing thru the mail you are 'certifying' to the state DMV that there have been no changes in your mental or physical health that impairs your driving skills. so that in itself could warrant judicial actions to boot if you are in an accident with renewed license and your insurance company has not been advised. its very serious, any way you look at it. the risks are simply not worth it,-divvi
My insurance agent informed me that if you DO NOT REPORT the AD diagnosis to the insurance company, and they find out, most likely when the AD driver is in an accident, YOU can be charged with insurance fraud, and YOUR insurance could be pulled.
The whole situation is one ugly mess, no matter what.
One of the first things I noticed about H driving was also following too close to the car ahead, coming up to a car too fast and having to hit the brake, then night confusion, then turning left on a green light while the arrow was still red. That was the last time he drove in town. Soon afterward quit altogether.
The Spring before he was hospitalized his driving changed. Have you every moved as close to the center of the vehicle as your seatbelt will let you because, he's suddenly coming REAL close to the mailboxes at the side of the road? Or held your breath as he comes down a jhill, changes to the turn lane, touches the brake for a second or 2 and makes a squeally turn in your van? Or watched him wait nearly too long to make a left turn in front of a vehicle coming toward you, because he can't gauge the speed/distance ratio? But, there's "nothing wrong with" his driving.
I was told our van had to be away from the house before he could come home. It was. We've attempted the testing to restore his license because he wanted to get it back and the Dr. wouldn't flat out tell him "No." But he completed the medical evaluation for the testing with enough "dementia" and "dementia related" comments to choke a horse, and hubby never got to take any of the regular testing because his medical eval wasn't acceptable.
If your LO gives up driving voluntarily or with little fuss---REJOICE!!! And if any family members try sticking their noses into the situation or decision---send them on a long walk on a short pier, with cement shoes.
It is totally irresponsible to not get them off the road. I didn't say it was easy. My doctor said his own father had AD. Said he was driving all over the road and creating chaos. He said he asked his dad for his driver's license. Took it from him and cut it up in little pieces. Of course, everyone was mad but he is a physicial sworn to protect lives which he said he did.
BTW, he said his father forgot all about the incident with in a couple of hours and there was nothing to forgive.
My DH is still driving his license has been revoked the dr has told him not to drive. The family has tried to talk to him about it but he goes into a rage and says he doesn't care if "they"take everything he has away he's driving anyway. He refuses to let me drive. We go into town ( small town) one day a week it's about 2 miles and on Sunday to church about 10 miles. Anybody have any real suggestions how to handle this?
Depending on the state you live in, your husband's name can be turned in to the state DMV for "review". It is like reporting a bad driver to the state. Your hb's license has been revoked so that is useless. Our doctor gave me the number for our state: Michigan but I never had to do it. I just got behind the wheel and hb never argued. From what I have read in other posts here, it can be a real problem. I don't know what it will take for you but how does he get car insurance without a valid license? Driving seems to be something the alz victim can do for a long time. Driving seems to be their last stronghold for independence.
shirley is correct if his license has been revoked the insurance company may well have a way out of paying a claim if he has a wreck. you have to notify the insurance of the issue at hand and probably speak to them about insurance and how to handle this. without a valid license you cant obtain coverage. this is valid for all companies. we all had to handle this driving issue which yes is very touchy and can get super nasty. but you as his power of attorney and one who is to make the decisions for him now he is diagnosed cant allow him to continue. we all know here how difficult this is, but they are not rational and cant be allowed to call the shots on such important health risks. remember others on the road who are innocent are at risk with him behind the wheel. if you dont take the keys your whole estate could be at risk with a potential lawsuit. and you would lose anything the lawyers can find. more importantly drivers who rely on us to keep our ill spouses off the road are at potential risk or death. who wants to live with that on their mind? ask the dr for medications to give if he gets aggressive, and take the keys. there is no way out of it. mine was also so very obstinant about giving up driving i had to really consider threat of divorce before he finally gave in. change the car, or the locks, and carry only set of keys where he cant find them. it can be done and must. divvi
ro, i am bringing up some very painful discussions on driving and how to go about it. some of us cant even stand to see the title of the discussion and cringe. i bet joan is one of them! divvi
Divvi is so correct. I hyperventilate and practically go into convulsions when this subject is brought up. Divvi brought to the top the discussion labeled - "The Driving Issue- How do you handle it?" Also, you can go to the home page - look on the left side and click "previous blogs". Click 2008, and look through May- October blogs. Many are about his rages and the driving issue. I can't begin to tell you the Hell I went through with the driving. The only thing that finally calmed him down was Risperdal, Celexa, and the fact that his Alzheimer buddies were refusing to associate with him anymore because he wouldn't stop ranting and raving about the driving.
It's been 3 years, and he has stopped raging about it, but it's always there, right below the surface.
One of the ways others have gotten their mate to not drive is to refuse to get in the car with them driving. I solved the problem with my dh by explaining the liability to us (we could lose our home, our retirement income and savings, if he had an accident and had been dx with AD.
Have not had driving issues since an accident occurred two years ago where she did not "see" oncoming driver. Had to appear in court and endure a fine and was ticketed for negligence. HUGE eye opener. I think there may be some gender differences in having the desire to continue to drive. My DW accepts the situation as it is. . Wishes, she could drive, but does not ever press the matter. I do let her drive the cart when I golf. .She will tell people that she has a golf cart license !! I tell her that as soon as she can stay on the cart paths we are doing all right. .
DH's neurologist wrote a letter to the DMV advising them of his dementia diagnosis and recommended suspending his license. They did and DH hasn't driven since. I sold his car and I do all the driving now. He (I) let his license expire while it was suspended. The risk is too great if you know that they have a diagnosis of dementia and they get into an accident. As others have said, the insurance company will not cover the accident and you will be responsible. I even had a police officer tell me that not only Rich but I too would be held responsible and have a possible jail sentence if he injured or killed someone. Thank god he gave up driving without a fight.
When this issue came up for us, I called our insurance company and posed the hypothetical question: Is there greater liability if a person with a known Alz Dx is involved in an accident? Well, I tried to be hypothetical. As soon as I asked, the rep asked me if I was talking about Jeff. I can't really lie, so I confessed. I think I really intended to start the process anyway.
What I was told is that WHEN his license came up for renewal (which would occur the upcoming Spring,) he would require a medical reference declaring his fitness to drive in order to be eligible to continue being insured. I knew he would get no such seal of approval. We exchanged his license for a state i.d. Word from the insurance company was that we WOULD be covered for anything that occurred up until the renewal period though. Still, I did not risk it. He pretty much stopped driving then.
My 61 y/o wife still drives. I test her weekly. . . . have been for 4 years now.
She only goes to church (1/4 mile?) and lunch at the Senior Center (2 miles?) The routes are completely straight (only one turn to get to the Senior Center) If she does not show up for lunch I get a call. Because of lonelyness she always calls me when she gets home from lunch (at age 53 I still work) So I know if things are working out. . .
She does NOT wander or WANT to drive any distance or to any other destinations. She used to stop at the 99 cent store on the way home from lunch but now she has shown no interest in doing that. She fears getting lost(!)
Every week SHE drives to the store so we can shop and I ride along. I tell her which store we want to go to and see if she can get there, while following stop signs, red lights etc. She DOES get confused sometimes with navigation when going to the stores (but most times she can find them easily) but she is still safe to drive.
Her diagnosis is still "MCI" (the MD has never changed it) so technically she does not have 'Alzheimers" . . . (in reality she is probably middle stage) As long as things seem safe and she has never tried to exceed her limits I have let it go.
Her license DOES expire next year. In CA she MIGHT get an automatic renwal by mail BUT if she has to take a test she would likely fail (loss of vocabulary and reading comprehension) and I figure then that would end it.
Selfishly, it IS a help TO ME that she can go to church and lunch by herself. I an not looking forward to arranging transporation. :-(
our insurance agents do get commissions on our policy while in force. and some will tell you yes they are covered and most of the time that would be true, but then again i would be cautious about taking that to heart since they arent the investigators on a claim-ESPECIALLY if your LAST policy renewal went thru without their knowledge of the AD diagnosis. if the AD diagnosis happens during a renewal period then more than likely they would be covered for a claim during that period. but remember that claims adjusters are also looking for information they can find out to have grounds for denying claims.its a business, just like our health insurance coverages do sometimes.
What will happen if an accident forces your wife to take a detour? You feel your wife is middle stage-that can deteriorate in a heartbeat. I understand that it helps that thus far she can drive and that relieves you of some of the stress. I also worry about the "what ifs and whens".
The route is surface streets with two lanes in each direction. In 40 years of living in this town they have never been completely closed (except construction which could be planned for)
Yes deterioration is expected I try to track which parts of her brain are involved at any time. (short term gone, Calendar broken - but clock time working perfectly, vocabulary disappearing, reading deteriorating, longer term gone - we stopped being 'married' 2 months ago . . .) But as long as her psychomotor driving skills continue (steering, brake, etc) AND she doesnt try to stretch her limits, it DOES help her self esteem . . . "Focus on what they can still do, rather than what they cant."
Yes absolutely! A LOT of 'what ifs'. But I cant dwell on them - I gotta do it just one day at a time . . .
My husband still drives. Even though his short term memory is bad, can't totally find his way back, he still is a good driver. His reactions to traffic situations is right on. An argument here is 'what if one time he doesn't?" or similar. Well, that can be true for any of us. Every six months the neuro ask about his driving and we discuss it. She still gives the OK as long as I am with him.
We deal with the driving issues more now as DH is in his super helpful mode which is running errands.....if only he could!!! I. Hzav to go over and over axto eplainz why he is not allowed to drive..and this is driving me nuts.
I became the primary driver about 6 wks. ago. He didn't like it,but didn't rant and rage. We had always said when the dr says it is time,so be it. His displeasure comes out in the car in the form of lots of "backseat" driving. I just ignore it and drive. Friday we had a visit from my daughter and family from out of state and their eldest just got her permit. I asked if mom was letting her drive any, to which she replied "not much". Hb. said " don't feel bad, mamaw took my driving away,too"! I remember when he had to take the keys from his mom with alz. she never forgot that. So for those of you just newly dealing with this, just hang in there and keep the keys!!
About 3 years ago, DH came to the Y. He told me he could not remember if he had walked or driven. We walked around the parking lot and found his car. That was the last time he drove. I think he was relieved, I know I was. He never had an accident, but I think he must had had problems finding his way around. He has never asked to drive since. When I told him he had to stop driving, I also told him I would take him everywhere he needs to go. I am so tired of all the driving but I am glad he can't cause any problems by being out there confused.