Welcome Cricket. I think you have lots of entertaining stories to tell! My dh's diagnosis is officially Alzheimers, but the neurologist suspects along with me that it has a large FTD component. I am lucky in that he has not got into much mischief, except for giving lots of money away to charities and then running away (on his bike and later after I got better at keeping it chained up, on foot). He's more settled now, thanks to the increasing decline and also probably the Risperidone that I got the neuro to prescribe for his anger issues. I am also very lucky that he goes to day care four days a week.
He went from driving everywhere under the sun, took the truck away. From driving the truck he went to riding the atv, took that away, then he got on his bicycle, took that away, then he was on foot. He is now under lock and key until I make the decision we go somewhere, a little peace now.
You seemed to have slipped in unnoticed by me, and for that, I apologize. Welcome to my website. Please tell us about yourselves and spouses when you feel comfortable doing so.
Welcome to my website, which I started in 2007, because I needed a place that dealt with my unique issues as a spouse of an Alzheimer patient. It is now a place of comfort for spouses/partners who are trying to cope with the Alzheimer's/dementia of their husband/wife/partner. The issues we face in dealing with a spouse/partner with this disease are so different from the issues faced by children and grandchildren caregivers. We discuss all of those issues here - loss of intimacy; social contact; conversation; anger; resentment; stress; and pain of living with the stranger that Alzheimer's Disease has put in place of our beloved spouse/partner.
The message boards are only part of this website. Please be sure to log onto the home page - www.thealzheimerspouse.com - and read all of the resources on the left side. I recommend starting with "Newly Diagnosed/New Member" and "Understanding the Dementia Experience". If it applies to you and your spouse, there are 4 sections for EOAD (early onset AD- now called YOUNG onset)members - two of which focus on the young teens whose parents have EOAD There is a great section on informative videos, and another excellent resource - Early Onset Dementia - A Practical Guide. You can go to the top of this page, click on "search", and type in EOAD, making sure the "topic" circle is filled in. All of the EOAD discussions will come up - there are about a dozen of them.
Do not miss the "previous blog" section. It is there you will find a huge array of topics with which you can relate. There is a "search" feature on the home page that allows you to look up different topics that may have been explored in a previous blog. Log onto the home page daily for new blogs; news updates; important information.
When you feel comfortable, please tell us more about you and your spouse.
I really admire your blog and share it often with others. I am not a spouse, but a Family Support Coordinator at an Alzheimer Society chapter in Canada. I am not sure how else to reach you but to sign up for the blog. (feel free to delete me later). The reason I am writing is a family I am working with is dealing with the issue of shoplifting. I see that there is a post titled shoplifting that has been started. I wanted to send the link to this family as they are feeling very alone and isolated with this issue. For some reason however, I seem to only have access to the first page of the blog (it seems that their are 8 pages available). If there is anyway to access the rest of the blog so that I can send it to them and hopefully link them to your site that would be appreciated. Thanks in advance.
My wife Julie was diagnosed in January of 2006, but I realized later that this disease was making inroads well before this date. We are now in the middle to late stage, and I am dreading the thought of "The Nursing Home" It has been very painful to watch my beautiful, vivacious, darling wife "leave me" a little bit at a time. How many deaths will I endure? I have finally realized that I can no longer take care of her at home....even with in-house staffing. The placement day will be here soon. I pose a question to you....do you think that having her visit the facility before-hand is an ABSOLUTE must? What has been your experiences? Please share.
I think this depends on how aware Julie is. I left my dh at a facility for a week of respite without visiting first and even without really telling him. He would have just been upset. But he has reached a stage where he is usually unaware of what is going on and accepts situations as long as he is comfortable and people are friendly.
In general I find that it's better not to confront our LO's with upcoming situations, which will only agitate them and serves no useful purpose if they are no longer able to make meaningful decisions for themselves. What if you visit the facility and says "NO"? I am sure my husband would say no to ANY proposal of change. He would have said no to daycare if I had asked him, but it has saved my life and allowed me to keep him home longer. I learned early on that I have to make the choices and carry through with them. I don't give him the choice. But your wife may be different.
JF hi, welcome to the forum. i hope you find the answers you are seeking about placement. there are a bunch of topics here recently about this very subject. if you scroll down the list you will see many of them about others here who have had to place their spouses. lots of info. i am sorry about your dear wife. many of us are seeing the declines and losses on a daily basis as well. welcome. divvi
Hi & Welcome JF, I am so sorry for your need to join our family, however, I am glad you found us. I placed my husband last March in an ALF, where he attended daycare....he did visit before he started daycare. I noticed you are from Indiana, I live north of Indianapolis. Again, Welcome!
Welcome JF, sorry that you need us, but glad that you have found us. I'm sure you'll find that collectively this group has a vast amount of real world experience that they are willing to share. While I haven't had to make the decision to place my DW I understand that the day to do so is not to far off. My experience has been that telling my DW about an upcomming event is conterproductive. All she does is worry about it and ultimately will forget about it. I've learned to tell her about an activity/event just prior to it. I also don't give her a choice. Again welcome!
Thank you everyone for your welcome and comments. You have reinforced my thoughts exactly. Our families are very supportive of my decisions and have spent enought time (walked in my shoes) to realize just what I am going through. Some, though, have broached the suggestion that I should take Julie on a visit, and my initial respone was "no, h**l, no" I think you said it best, Jeanette, about making the right (tough) choices and not second-guessing yourself. I am committed to doing what's in the best interest of Julie. I pray that the day we take her to the nursing home will be tougher on us than on her. She has always been a very social and outgoing person, and I hope this bodes well for her in her new surroundings.
JF (back home again in Indiana...north of Ft. Wayne)
Hi Im Bill I live SS Nassau co on Long Island my wife of 29 yrs ,Dorothy has been diagnosed with Semantic Dementia 2 yrs ago , would like to hear from People in the long Island area please.
Hi, studabakahawk, I'm not in New York, but your name grabbed my attention. We have a 64 GT that my hubby bought new before we were married. So sorry for your need to be here, but you'll find lots of good company on this site.
Welcome JosieA. I am from north of Pittsburgh. Good to have someone that's in the general area. Hope you find what you are looking for here. A lot of good advice and no one judging you.
Good Evening, Would like to just introduce myself. My name is Craig. My wife had been having significant memory and cognitive issues for 10 years. We were just recently diagnosed with EOAD. She is now 55. Have battled getting a diagnosis other than mood disorder, personality disorder, lymes or even chronic depression. No one ever dared say dementia or Alzheimer's, even though all the classic symptoms were there. I think we were up to 30 different anti-depressants over the course of the years. She had to quit job 4 years ago. Had been having vision problems, but eyes always checked out fine. .Quit driving when involved in auto accident. Didn't see the motorcyclist. .Thank God, he survived, but no driving now for last 2 years. PET scan indicated that the brain atrophy is so diffused that we are beyond medication that would slow anything down. Mayo Clinic felt that perhaps stage 5 is where we are at. Unable to read, write, dial a phone. .all the things we so take for granted. Sold our home we had designed and built 11 years ago. Moved to get closer to relatives who can help out from time to time. Living close to family is not all that it is cracked up to be. Very difficult disease to not only live with, but to be able to expose the vulnerability. I continue to work. .at the insistence of both Doctors and therapists. . Doing my part to take care of me. .and son. I have hired companion care to come in and be at home when I am gone or working. If anyone has read the book, Still Alice, it does a good job of portraying the life my wife once had. . A doctorate, teacher, designer, runner, mother, confidant. . The disease has taken so much away. .She get enjoyment from seeing and talking with friends. .recognition factor is still quite intact though the names escape. . We are both aware that the window is short. .Sometimes it's just a cold and it's a broken hallelujah. . . .
Welcome Craig. Sorry you have had to join us but you are in the right place for support, help, place to vent, cyber hugs, etc. Happy to have another man on the list. My husband is 63 - diagnosed at 59 but like everyone else here - showing signs years before.
Craig, it sounds like you're doing all the right things. I can't imagine how all you younger people on these boards are coping so well. My husband is allmost 86 and nearing stage 7 and it's been so hard, but the EOAD must be so very much more difficult. Welcome to our boards.
Hi & Welcome Craig, I am so sorry for your need to join our family, however, I am glad you found us. You have joined a family that listens & cares deeply what you are experiencing. My husband suffers from FTD...he started losing his memory at age 50, he is now 60. He is in stage 7. Please feel free to ask any question, someone will have the answer.
Hi Craig! Sorry you have to be here but welcome to your virtual support group. This is a good place to come when you need to vent, talk, ask questions, or just read what everyone has to say & we are here 24/7. So come back often, we will be here for you & we understand!
welcome Craig. its a long difficult journey that all of us are on. somehere have given the ultimate sacrifice now and have landed on the other side of this horrific time and their spouses are now at peace. most of us are still tackling the daily issues that come with the disease. hope to see you post under any of the topics or discussions. someone is always listening. divvi
I thought I joined before, but if I did, I forgot all the sign in info. Guess I bookmarked the message board and have read, but haven't written anything yet. My husband is 59 and has FTD. He was diagnosed spring of 2010 with mild cognitive impairment, but diagnosed in December with FTD. Looking back, I can see this started by 2007.
He doesn't work (they fired him from a grocery store (as a bagger) for stealing last September.
He seems to be progressing more rapidly now. He has forgotten names of foods and asks me things again, etc. I'm sure you all know what I'm talking about.
Right now he can stay home alone, but I work split shifts and only 1 mile up the road, so I'm in and out during the day. The main thing is that I'm here to make his lunch & dinner. He lies in bed and reads all day and goes to bed by 5 p.m.
I hope someone tells me how to find this group on FB. I belong to several there, but don't think I found this group yet.
Thanks. I'm glad to be here. I hope to be more active.
I am new here and found this group at the suggestion of our family doctor after I finally broke down and went to see him this week. I found myself getting more and more angry, more frustrated, more stressed, etc. to the point where something had to give. My BP was at stroke level. I am a nurse and thought I could handle this journey by myself. So much for my coping skills! Husband retired and two weeks later was diagnosed with cancer, after surgery and chemo and radiation he had a colostomy. He is also on O2 fulltime, had heart surgery and now has brittle diabetes. I thought a lot of his emotional and mental changes were due to overload of dealing with physical illness. He also had several noticeable(hospitalized) strokes. Then the rages started and he became physically violent. Doctor put him on medication immediately and he is complacent now to the point of irritation! Can't please me I guess. I do feel like I am raising a five year old again. I've been reading the boards and the blogs and have learned so much from all of you. I think what really hit home is "You can't fix it"! I have always 'fixed' things so this is a hard lesson to learn. Our grown sons don't want to see what is happening with Dad and act like I am exaggerating his behavior. Friends (who are till connected) say But he looks so good, and they put it down to age and retirement. I am soooooooo glad to have found you guys, was beginning to wonder if I was the one with mental problems. I will learn to let go and quit being so anal, I found myself being so angry with him that it scared me. It has been six years and looks like a long road ahead but now I know that this is my "new normal". Just gotta keep reminding myself. Thanks for letting me vent.
Welcome and so sorry you have to join us. We are 24/7 and nothing you tell us will surprise us. Feel free to complain, vent, ask questions. We will do our best to help you.
Welcome to my website. You sound EXACTLY like me 5 years ago. I was a speech/language therapist who dealt with language learning disorders, behavior problems,- you name it, I dealt with it. So, I thought I could deal with my AD husband - WRONG!!!!!!
It took almost 5 years before my relatives stopped thinking of me as a pathological lying drama queen. "Don't see anything wrong with him" is one of my blogs. I am also a control freak, and I thought I could control his situation. WRONG!!!!
Please go to the home page - www.thealzheimerspouse.com - and write in whatever topic you are looking for in the search engine under "previous blogs" on the left side. There will be so much to which you can relate.
Welcome to areed, who posted under Joan's Blog - Final Acceptance.
Welcome to my website, which I started in 2007, because I needed a place that dealt with my unique issues as a spouse of an Alzheimer patient. It is now a place of comfort for spouses/partners who are trying to cope with the Alzheimer's/dementia of their husband/wife/partner. The issues we face in dealing with a spouse/partner with this disease are so different from the issues faced by children and grandchildren caregivers. We discuss all of those issues here - loss of intimacy; social contact; conversation; anger; resentment; stress; and pain of living with the stranger that Alzheimer's Disease has put in place of our beloved spouse/partner.
The message boards are only part of this website. Please be sure to log onto the home page - www.thealzheimerspouse.com - and read all of the resources on the left side. I recommend starting with "Newly Diagnosed/New Member" and "Understanding the Dementia Experience". There is also a comprehensive financial section. If it applies to you and your spouse, there are 4 sections for EOAD (early onset AD- now called YOUNG onset- those diagnosed under age 65) members - two of which focus on the young teens whose parents have EOAD There is a great section on informative videos, and another excellent resource - Early Onset Dementia - A Practical Guide. You can go to the top of this page, click on "search", and type in EOAD, making sure the "topic" circle is filled in. All of the EOAD discussions will come up - there are about a dozen of them.
Do not miss the "previous blog" section. It is there you will find a huge array of topics with which you can relate. There is a "search" feature on the home page that allows you to look up different topics that may have been explored in a previous blog. Log onto the home page daily for new blogs; news updates; important information.
When you feel comfortable, please tell us more about you and your spouse.
Jean 21 is right, areed! This is THE ONLY place to be on this terrible journey we are on. So sorry you have to be here but so glad you found us. We are here for you!
Happy you have joined us, Areed. This has been an absolute "sanity saver" for me. We are all in this together to help each other along this terrible journey.
Welcome to my website, which I started in 2007, because I needed a place that dealt with my unique issues as a spouse of an Alzheimer patient. It is now a place of comfort for spouses/partners who are trying to cope with the Alzheimer's/dementia of their husband/wife/partner. The issues we face in dealing with a spouse/partner with this disease are so different from the issues faced by children and grandchildren caregivers. We discuss all of those issues here - loss of intimacy; social contact; conversation; anger; resentment; stress; and pain of living with the stranger that Alzheimer's Disease has put in place of our beloved spouse/partner.
The message boards are only part of this website. Please be sure to log onto the home page - www.thealzheimerspouse.com - and read all of the resources on the left side. I recommend starting with "Newly Diagnosed/New Member" and "Understanding the Dementia Experience".
This definitely applies to you and your spouse - there are 4 sections for EOAD (early onset AD- now called YOUNG onset)members - two of which focus on the young teens whose parents have EOAD There is a great section on informative videos, and another excellent resource - Early Onset Dementia - A Practical Guide. You can go to the top of this page, click on "search", and type in EOAD, making sure the "topic" circle is filled in. All of the EOAD discussions will come up - there are about a dozen of them.
Do not miss the "previous blog" section. It is there you will find a huge array of topics with which you can relate. There is a "search" feature on the home page that allows you to look up different topics that may have been explored in a previous blog. Log onto the home page daily for new blogs; news updates; important information.