I am 52 and my DH is 71. I admire the caregivers that are approximately the same age as their LO's because I don't think I could be a caregiver if I was the same age as my DH. I know I would if I had to but I am glad that I don't have to
I'm 64 and DW is 62 and dx in early 2006 with symptoms first noticed in Fall, 2001. We both have birthdays coming up this Fall. We've been married for 44 years.
I am 73 as of last Friday. My son says the 70's are the new 50's. Always thought he was a smart fella. DH is soon 78. Like others, this has been going on for years.
Mary, Yes it is Kelly. There was another Caregiver that posted sometime ago who was in her 30's also, however, she never posted here so I didn't count her.
When I am really feeling sorry for myself, I think of Kelly being so young & with 3 little children. I then realize I am lucky.
I am 64 and my DH is 77. When we got married 26 years ago I had no idea that "for better or for worse" could mean AD. He was officially diagnosed late last summer but probably had the disease for a couple years leading up to diagnosis.
One of the things we are trying to get across to Congress and anyone else who will listen, is that Alzheimer's Disease is NOT OLD TIMER'S DISEASE. When I read these stats, I think of that point. Also, There are many people on this site alone that have not posted their ages. I know there are more than 158 members on this website. Joan, share, if you will, how many members you show registered..
When we've looked at it before, it appears there are a LOT of people in which the wife is much younger (at least 10 years) than the AZ spouse (doesn't seem to hold for women w/ AD.) And a lot of these appear to be second marriages for the husband, so the wives have problems dealing with stepkids. My personal wonder is if the husbands were showing signs of AZ which led to the divorce from the first wife.
Sandi, I am sorry that I didn't see your response before now but...the reason I said that is because of my health issues. They have been progressively getting worse since I was 40 years old and 30 more years of advancement would be 30 years harder to deal with. But like I said I would do it if I had too I would probably need a lot more help.
I've wondered also if caregiving is any easier if you're younger, healthier and stronger. I'm 73 and so many of you are in your 50's. But then, you've lost so much so young.
I think there is 2 sides of the coin on whether it is easier if you are younger vs older. I know with myself, even though I try not to, I resent that dementia struck my husband in his 50's. As with most of the general public I thought if it did happen he would be at least over 65. His grandmother was in her 70's & his mother was in her late 60's. When I am out, I see older couples in the 70's & 80's and kind of feel cheated that I lost that togetherness, basically at around 53 years old. I know there are many people who have lost their spouse younger in life due to another terminal illness, but I know this sounds selfish, but they could still communicate almost till the end. Then I think if I was older as Dazed mentioned, I might not have good health or have the strength. I guess no matter what age, everyone can agree it is a devastating illness. That robs Spouses, Children, Grandchildren, Friends & even sometimes Parents (my husband's dad is 83) of their loved one. A no win situation.
I think physically caregiving may be easier--I'm 50, husband is 59--but emotionally its so devastating. I know I can't enjoy the things I thought we would when he would have retired at 65. I see older people out, talking to each other and I am so very jealous. There is no actual conversations just constant helping and explaining to him. We were never able to travel due to finances and time constraints with his job and the kids. Kids are now grown but now he is not cognitively able to travel and enjoy it.
I think no matter what your age it's difficult for everyone.
I know it is harder when you are older caring for your spouses. I am 81 and DH is 86 and is in stage 6. I am the only person to take care of him, Take care of all financial matters that I never did have to think about, and do the climbing on ladders to replace bulbs, and a host of other chores. I ,too have my own health problems, bad back, arthrictic neck, tear in the right rotater cuff and problems sleeping. I may have problems moving some days but still have to take care of DH, who does nothing but sit in his recliner and want's to know "what's to eat". Hey, I am feeling sorry for myself today. May the Good Lord help me with an attitude adjustment so I can keep taking care of things. Maybe that other Bama will show up to help with the chores. She is already getting the blame when my halo slips and I yell.
Oh, Bama, my arms are lifting you up! My DH is also 86- but I'm 69 and I know how hard it is to do everything too! At least my DH is good about "wanting to help me" - sometimes good, sometimes not - depending on what it is. I had to get the doctor to tell him NO MORE LADDERS! So, now I have to get on the ladder! LOL
Bama, you always seem to have a smile on your face. If things are getting to you, it's definitely time for us to have a whine and cheese party. Is it too early in the day to start drinking? Bring that other Bama along. We love you both.
I am also 50 my husband is 54 - you are so right -we are still able to travel but Ihave to make all the arrangements and make sure he is by my side all the time - conversation is difficult - financially I worry - but he just doesn't get it - the worst part for me is he always needs to be near me - it makes me feel bad but at times I need to be alone - and he gets upset if I tell him I need space
I've never posted on this thread, but I am 49 (will be 50 in Jan) and DH is 64. Second marriage for both of us; 22 years coming up in Feb 2010. Love of my life.