Well, Amber, that's a good question I have thought about many times and I still have no answer. Some days it would be yes, other days an emphatic no! His son tells me he has never seen his father so happy in all his life so perhaps I was meant to bring him some joy in his late years. I'm just glad to have found this place where I now realize there are a lot of people in our situation so I'm not so sorry for myself.
I am amazed at how young our caregivers are. The "outside world" surely doesn't know. I find it difficult to believe this is all Alzheimer's, FTD or Pick's. This monster is afflicting so many young people. What we used to call senility has taken on a more sinister meaning.
I am 41. I have been asked by many people if I knew then what I know now.. would I still have married Lynn. My answer without a doubt is YES!! We have been together for 23 years I wouldn't trade those wonderful years for anything.
Kadee, do you suppose the reason there are no caregivers listed in the 80's is because they don't use a computer? I think this would be the largest group of caregivers. Seems I heard or read that almost 50% of those 85 and older have AD. The other 50% are maybe caregivers.
Dazed, I was thinking that there were a couple caregivers who were in their 80's, however, they have not replied to my post. I agree with you computer use is probably not available.
I think that this group is skewed by ability to use computers. I also think that most 80 and 90 year old patents are being cared for my children and grandchildren. Certainly that was the truth in my own family. I'm aware of several cousins with dementia who were in their 90s when I found out about them. In one case BOTH of the couple had the disease and their daughters were caring for them. In another case it was the granddaughter who was the main caregiver. Even in our group the LOs in their 80s tend to have younger spouses.
Ok, here goes. I'm 51 1/2. DH just turned 55. Married since June of 1976, so that makes it 32 years. been together 35 years. I have noticed problems for may be 8 years, may be a little longer. Not diagnoised, probably FTD.
i am 53. dh is 52. he has eoad. he is somewhere in stage 6,not incontinent yet.but i do try to watch him closely. he has not forgotten who i am,thank god,but he is going downhill too fast. jav
I turned 51 this summer. AD issues with my DH for at least 4 years (he is 54). My heart goes out to Karie dealing with this at age 35! I agree about the age skew because of computer ability/interest.
Interesting idea that the age might be skewed because of computer ability/interest ... especially when you look at the ages of our AD spouses. We have 19 who are in their 80's...
Kadee, thank you for doing this. It really is interesting. Another one to do would be about children. So many have small children. then others like me have younger adults and/or young grandchildren.
I wonder how others handle the issue of explaining why Grandpa yells a lot and explaining that it is not the child's fault. This is how I deal with it. If grandpa starts acting angry or yelling about stuff, the little kids know to go to the play room. We tell them that grandpa is not angry with them and they have not done anything wrong. We tell them that grandpa just gets angry with life once in a while. This works for us and there are not hurt feelings. It works for older, adult children also.
I yield to Bama's age, but I am catching up fast. Computers may have something to do w/it, I was an executive secy, familiar w/office equipment, but didn't get a computer until DH got sick and I wanted to research--I have since found that a lot of 80's have computers. I was so focused on my experience w/DH that I really did not think about younger families--which I have since met on-line. My children are in their 50's, largest group here and I'm always 'watching' them. So far, thank God, they seem perfectly fine. However, I know my DH had AD for decades, well before his 50's, I just did not notice the signs and no one else in his very large extended family has it. One elderly aunt, possibly, but that was long ago and she was OK in her earlier years. I cringe when I read about you younger ones, I wish I could do more to help, but I can only offer you cyberspace hugs, understanding, admiration and a hand to hold. There are books for children, probably on this site. Maria Shriver wrote 'What's Happening to Grandpa?" and there's another called, "What's Wrong w/Grandma?"
Bettyhere, I know for one I will accept all the cyberspace hugs & understanding you are willing to give. I need you & thank you. I will sendings (((hugs))) right back to you.
My daughter has ordered the book written by Maria Shriver (see Joan's front page) for my grandson, but I don't know how that has worked out yet. I'll report back when I know something. He is 7, but a young 7. He reads very well, but loves picture books anyway.
My understanding is that Maria Shriver has a parent with Alzheimer's and wrote the book because she had experience explaining it to the younger members of her family. And I think her grandmother might have had it as well.
It's her father, Sargent Shriver who has AD and was responsible for successfully expanding the Peace Corps under Kennedy. I've never heard that either G'mother has it. I think her father is still alive. For those of you who may not have looked, go to my web site below & click 'You're in Good Company'. See all the prominent people, especially in show biz, who have it. Since their stock-in-trade is memorization, you have to wonder.
I looked at your website...how wonderful is that??!!!! You are an amazing writer. I really loved the journey of "And God laughed". How brave you are on so many levels. I'll be checking in again to read more.
I shared with an AD widow friend of mine the young age of caregivers and she was as surprised as I am. She is very attractive, not poor and still suffering her loss. On top of that she does not drive-never learned. She still keeps her husband's Lexus in the garage because people like to drive it. I help her as I am able but prefer driving my Honda-I'd be scared to death to drive her car.
This is astounding, folks. Consider the relatively small sampling of our group. I wonder if someone with statistical skills could project some type of estimate of what we see here based on general population. Is the technology so much better advanced that patients in their 50's and some even younger, can be diagnosed? Thank you, Kadee, for keeping track of this.
Joan, can this information be used in some way to inform those who need to know? Maybe they do know but it sure opens my eyes to see this chart. Wow!!