Whether it's at home or in a restaurant, after the food comes, he'll say that he isn't hungry and all he wants is water or iced tea. If we're out, I'll just tell him that what he doesn't eat, we'll take home. Then he sits there and eats everything on his plate. Go figure.
This has happened to me for the past 6 month or so. I usually just ignore him if we are out and about. If we are at home I try to urge him to eat. He is loosing weight and the doctor stresses to me to give him Ensure etc. He does not like them. If he has it in his mind not to eat I can do all the urging you want but he will just not eat. Iced tea is his thing also. I am going to say he is in middle 6 stage.
With my husband not wanting to eat a meal now is a control issue. The last time it came up I just said, OK, tell me when you are hungry and I'll make you a plate. He sat down and ate right then and there.
I think he has reached the losing weight stage, but it isn't obvious as yet. I know at some point I'll be going through the not hungry stage. I posted about the control issue idea because I almost immediately got that thought about control issues in my head from Carolyn's post, and it was so close to what my husband had done that I had to comment on it.
My doctor told me, if he says he's not hungry, just as him to take one bite, or feed him one bite. It just might open up the appitite for him. that amazingly does often work. Then he'll even say that he didn't realize he was hungry. I think that says it all, for some reason, he doesn't know he's hungry. He's lost about 30 lbs from his heaviest weight, and I'm sure he's still losing, but no problem, the weight is not gone, it moved over to me....(grin). ;) Anyway, I make a point now of making stuff i know he'll eat just because he likes it, and everything is kind of mushy, with gravy or sauce of some kind, makes it easier to go down. Swallowing has also become an issue. I'd say he's at stage 5 and has been for some time.
Mine usually eats well on his own if left alone and he takes a while to get it done. there are days though,if he doesnt start eating in 15min i usually just sit and start the process with the fork -a few bites and then he 'gets it':)some days he just seems more confused about the whole process and when cued he can do it himself again. divvi
This morning it took two hours for him to declare himself full after breakfast. He went upstairs at 10:30, went to the bathroom, and came back down, to the kitchen to wait for lunch! I finally gave him lunch at 11:30, and then took him on a drive up to Trader Joe's. The leaves between RI and the Boston area are at peak, so it was gorgeous. And he seemed really interested in Wait Wait Don't Tell me, laughing at it appropriately, etc. Didn't doze in the car going or coming. We came home and I said, okay now it's nap time. It was 3 pm. He went upstairs, got as far as the bedroom and apparently turned around and came back down, and went to the kitchen again by four, to wait for dinner! (I was trying to nap then, of course) I refuse (and he knows it) to start cooking before five. Finally got him through dinner and up to bed.
It was like a toddler that has just about outgrown naptime but you keep putting them back down anyway. He's taking this trazadone, which has made him much more alert (hence interested in the radio). For him it doesn't make him sleepy, quite the opposite.
BUT: he's got his Braun razor. And he loves it. He learned right away to turn it on and off, used it this morning carefully, then brought it down with him to dinner! I think it's going to be like Divvi's husband's top!
My husband has been doing the "not hungry" gig for about 3 yrs...actually it was one of the first things that made me realize something was wrong. Usually I'll put a small amount on his plate and a big amount on mine. I say, it's okay if you're not hungry, just eat what you want. Once he gets going, he eats everything and then I slowly add "bites" from my plate. Works for us.
My DH is not underweight. If I don't fix his meal, he doesn't eat. If I fix a nice meal for him and he says he's not hungry, I just say "sorry" and take it away. I cover it with Saran wrap and put it in the frige. If he says he's hungry later, I just warm it up in the microwave. Problem solved. I guess I had too many children to fuss with a picky eater. Hope I'm not sounding cruel.
Mawzy, I think all of this eating stuff depends on where your husband is on the eating progression, which might not be anything like the talking progression or the walking progression or even the getting to the bathroom by himself progression.
Right now my husband doesn't need me to fuss over his eating, but he complained that a hamburger was "tough" yesterday, so he might need a bit more "fuss" pretty soon. He not wanting to eat the last time he tried it was a control issue. I dealt with it the way you do, although he actually sat down and ate right then and there when it didn't work.
Shoegirl's husband is at a different point. He doesn't recognize he is hungry. My husband has problems understanding what to do when he is cold which isn't all that different because it means I need to use different strategies than I used to use. He really does need help just as Shoegirl's husband needs help with his issue.
And then we have others who have basically stopped eating but who aren't really ready to stop. Still a different issue because it is a different point on the progression.
can you put the ensure in ice cream? that sounds good,but would they still get the right amount of nutrients,like deluting baby formula too much? my dh loves ice cream. he is having some trouble with some foods now. i have to watch and cut them up for him etc. he will say he is not hungry of thirsty sometimes,when he really is. he says the opposite of what he really wants or means alot of times,it does take some decifering an patience,for sure. he will push his chair way back from the table,instead of up close. it is so hard for him to do the least things now. i have such fear for not the so distant future, it is coming so fast. jav
My H also pushes his chair back from the table and lots of time gets food on the floor. My Mom used to do that too. He was always one to sit up close to the table and never drop food. You can put ensure in with ice cream.
jav, it's better to "dilute" the ensure with ice cream and have your husband eat it, than for him to refuse to eat it at all... AD patients often love sweets, so people have tried things like putting a dollop of jelly or cooked fruit (cooking enhances the sweetness) on top of meat, things that you and I might not like but are scrumptious to the ADLO.
We were talking about ways to get calories into our spouses a while back. One of the threads was "Doctor's appointment" ... I've brought it to the top for you.