My husband was always a "busy" man, not a couch potato. Now he is too confused and too many other symptoms to do much of anything but still intelligent enough to want something to do. His eyesight is poor and he has very little fine motor skills in his hands but he needs something. The doctor suggested that I have him fold clothes or dust even if he didn't do it correctly but that is part of the problem. He can't do it correctly and he knows it so therefore if he can't do it right he won't do it at all. Anyone got ANY ideas.
Lynn too was a very active man. Friends use to say he was like a spider on a hot rock. Always moving! Now, like your husband he has so many difficulties. One activity I found that Lynn seems to really enjoy is rolling coins. He does it all wrong, but he likes sorting them and putting them in piles. After he is done I thank him for a job well done. Then when he goes to bed, I unroll them all for the next day. Not sure if this would work for your husband? Best of luck
Would he like to listen to books? I found this post from another caregiver:
"When my husband, a lawyer, lost the ability to read books and comprehend, we discovered the "Books for the Blind and Handicapped" program. It's a free program from the government. The books in their catalog are numerous and they provide a free player. This site is for NC, but I think all states have the program. He could comprehend when he was listening."
http://statelibrary.dcr.state.nc.us/lbph/lbph.htm
Then, from a thread that I liked a lot (so many activities suggested for AD patients are for late-stage and seem too childish):
"Alzheimer's is a progressive disease. A person with Alzheimer's most often goes further back in time the more the disease progress. If your dad is in the space of time where work was his focus, go with that. What did he do for a living and what can you safely modify about his work that he can feel successful with? If you can bring his work to him, you most probably will relieve some of his anxiety. I have worked with Alzheimer's for many years in an activity capacity, and one thing that works is to go into their world, because that is their reality My FIL, Old Navy, tends to drift off to the time he was in the Navy back near the end of WWII. He used to work in the engine room, and will tell me that he can't leave his station without the Captain's permission. Most of his job was making sure certain valves were opened and closed at precisely the right time, so we are in the process of creating a board with things that need to be turned or twisted. Don't know if that will work, but I'm having a heck of a good time, getting things together for DH to attach to the board! Other times, I tell him I'm a new recruit and need to learn my way around the engine room. So he will actually walk with me down the 'passageways' pointing out the various equipment in the engine room... and even show me how it works (it's all in his head, but in his mind, that is what he sees). By the time we've done a recon of the passageways, he's ready to settle down to keep watch on the boilers."
"If he says 'he has to go to work'..... what was his profession? is it possible to get him something to 'work at'? such as: a banker: play money a grocery person: play meats and vegies an accountant: paper, calculator, receipts"
"What came to mind was perhaps getting some books on the navy and his job so that you can go over the books with him and he can 'instruct' you as part of his job. I love the idea about constructing something that he can turn things on and off. Great idea!
"Does he like to garden? If it's too difficult for him to work outside, perhaps he can grow potted plants indoors."
There is a "Handyman Box" that comes in small and large that several on this forum have mentioned in the past. Also there is the 'Plumbers Pal' that might work. Not a lot of items geared specifically for men, but most are 'unisex'.
PLEASE NOTE: use the link to find the "handyman box" but do your purchasing through Joan's link!
And, of course, there's the oft-cited list of 101 Things to Do With a Person With Alzheimer's Disease, which may give you some ideas. Mostly, what I've heard is that the activities that are the most successful are the ones you do together. The problem is that lack of initiative that AD patients develop -- they have to be guided and reinforced to keep active.
1. Clip coupons 2. Sort poker chips 3. Count tickets 4. Rake leaves 5. Use the carpet sweeper 6. Read out loud 7. Bake cookies 8. Look up names in the phone book 9. Read the daily paper out loud 10. Ask someone with a child to visit 11. Listen to Polka music 12. Plant seeds indoors or out 13. Look at family photographs 14. Toss a ball 15. Color pictures 16. Make homemade lemonade 17. Wipe off the table 18. Weed the flower bed 19. Make cream cheese mints 20. Have a spelling bee 21. Read from the Reader's Digest 22. Fold clothes 23. Have a friend visit with a calm pet 24. Cut pictures out of greeting cards 25. Wash silverware 26. Bake homemade bread 27. Sort objects by shape or color 28. Sing old songs 29. "Tell me more" when they talk about a memory 30. Put silverware away 31. Make a Valentine collage 32. Play favorite songs and sing 33. Take a ride 34. Make a cherry pie 35. Read aloud from Ideals magazine 36. Play dreidels 37. Make a basket of socks 38. Take a walk 39. Reminisce about 1st day of school 40. String Cheerios to hang outside for birds 41. Make a fresh fruit salad 42. Sweep the patio 43. Color paper shamrocks green 44. Fold towels 45. Have afternoon tea 46. Remember great inventions 47. Play Pictionary 48. Paint a sheet 49. Cut out paper dolls 50. Identify states and capitals 51. Make a family tree poster 52. Color a picture of our flag 53. Cook hot dogs outside 54. Grow magic rocks 55. Water house plants 56. Reminisce about the first kiss 57. Play horse shoes 58. Dance 59. Sing favorite hymns 60. Make homemade ice cream 61. Force bulbs for winter blooming 62. Make Christmas cards 63. Sort playing cards by their color 64. Write a letter to a family member 65. Dress in your favorite football team's color 66. Pop popcorn 67. Name the presidents 68. Give a manicure 69. Make paper butterflies 70. Plant a tree 71. Make a May basket 72. Make homemade applesauce 73. Finish famous sayings 74. Feed the ducks 75. Mold with play dough 76. Look at pictures in National Geographic 77. Put a puzzle together 78. Sand wood 79. Rub in hand lotion 80. Decorate paper placemats 81. Arrange fresh flowers 82. Remember famous people 83. Straighten out underwear drawer 84. Finish Nursery Rhymes 85. Make peanut butter sandwiches 86. Wipe off patio furniture 87. Cut up used paper for scratch paper 88. Take care of fish tank 89. Trace and cut out leaves 90. Ask simple trivia questions 91. Finish Bible quotes 92. Paint with string 93. Cut out pictures from magazines 94. Read classic short stories 95. Put coins in a jar 96. Sew sewing cards 97. Put bird feed out for the birds 98. Clean out a pumpkin 99. Reminisce about a favorite summer 100. Roll yarn into a ball 101. Make a birthday cake
sorry it burns my buns to hear someone say the activity their spouse may enjoy is too 'childish'..duh! we are dealing with a mental disease where daily activities dimenish at an alarming rate- when you get to stage 5 or even ealier for that fact, they ARE childlike in mind- some are even saying 2yr olds in alot of similarities in areas prior to that. i think this stigma is in your mind and not the person who is enjoying the activity. i would say my DH got tons of enjoyment doing 18mo old puzzles and reading toddler books he could see and not get bogged down with complicated reading when he was still early mid stage. if we are talking about just diagnosed then most of the above suggestions would still apply hopefully, but dont count on it. they maybe much more advanced mentally than you realize-my DH never goes anywhere without taking his spinning lite toy, it comforting to him and most everyone asks him where he got it and want one too. i have absolutely no qualms about anything he can find comfort in-divvi
Mary, i get them by the half dozens at any party store. they have them for every theme now. 5dol is cost. no matter what i buy him he loves these most. he lays it on his chest when napping, i guess its the vibratio of the spinning. its amazing how much comfort and enjoyment he gets out of these. he has dozens different ones. EVERYONE including his dr asked for one. hahah..his neuro said i need one of those to sit at my desk with on my lunch break..HA!! i do go thru a pack of batterys 3AAA weekly keeping them running=but what a small cost he really likes them at bed when its darker. :) divvi
Darling divvi, I didn't mean to offend with the "childish" remark. I was specifically answering ehamilton's post, and her husband just doesn't sound as if his cognitive function has declined to the point he would accept some of the activities that are recommended -- they are clearly for more advanced stages. My own husband -- who is a solid stage 5 -- would be devastated if I suggested some of these to him. I have to find real chores for him to do -- he knows the difference.
And on one of the threads on "the other site" where people suggested some of these, one of the EOAD patients really blew her top about caregivers assuming that she would enjoy something she considered to be childish and degrading. She could tell when her husband was trying to give her "busy work" just to keep her out of his hair, and she didn't like it one bit. I copied that into my file, just to remind myself that different AD patients have different capabilities, and saw it when I was looking for things that might help ehamilton.
I think it may be a lot harder to find enjoyable activities for patients in the earlier stages ... too disabled to do their usual activities, but still too "with it" to enjoy toddlers' games and puzzles.
I definately agree if an AD patient is capable of 'blowing her/his top' about any activity then yes they are probably still able to perform alot of these more age appropriate activities listed. i myself tried DH on many of them early on and he could do some others not. i would think it certainly depends on what portion of the brain is affected early on as to what their capabilities are going to be within the AD stages listed.we all know they can bounce from one capabilities in one stage and into the next and this random ability may cause some unnoticeable confusion- in my case, I found it was exhausting and exerting too much pressure on DH to try to continue to 'function' in what i thought was still his 'capable' level. it was a sad day indeed to find he enjoyed doing more childrens projects instead of another more age appropriate ones. the question is how do you tell when these activities become exasperating and stressful for them to perform ? it was just my thought that there may come a time sooner than later that you realize they just arent capable of performing 'adult' type projects anymore. sorting coins/socks/all this still requires certain functions= there is no debate that while they can perform most of any of those listed, its good for self esteem and feelings of adequacy if those personality traits are still with them . all i am saying there may come a time that even these more adult and less demeaning activites are no longer prudent and can cause the opposite effects like fustration and anxiety. i kept insisting he continue to function according to my standards and the reality was he was not able, thus outbursts to cover the fustration and trying to hide the fact he could not do what he did even the day before. it took a while to figure it out. on the other hand, WHEN this happens and the projects are just too overwhelming, sometimes reverting back to child-like instincts can still offer some levels of activities and brain stimulation. i guess what i want to say is what is 'demeaning and childish' to one person is happiness and smiles to another not so fortunate. divvi
PS and Sunshyne, absolutely no offense taken!- i understand where you are coming from exactly, i just hate the connotation of the 'words''-childish-demeaning...:)just venting and letting the 'lava flow'.. divvi
So far, I've been fortunate in that my husband gives me pretty clear signals about what is or is not frustrating him. If he hands something to me to do, I do it without question, even if he did it himself a few minutes earlier. Unlocking the door is something we go back and forth on these days ... some times he can do it, others I end up with the keys.
Also, I have always been one to play with toys (you should have seen what I kept on my desk at work), so I think it will be easier for me as time goes on to suggest ... "age appropriate" ... toys and games without offending him, because (if his brain is still functioning that well) he'll assume I'm the one interested in them. Which I may well be. <grin>
I enjoyed reading all the ideas. Some sound like they might work, others don't. Even our grandchildren have outgown the small child things, but as with a lot of "normal" older people, I'm sure that my husband still thinks of them as younger than they really are so I am thinking buy a few children's things that I think he might enjoy and let him think that they are for the grandchildren but I will decide that I want to play with them and see if he will join me. It's worth a shot don't you think.
Son in law bought a new interactive crescent wrench for DH as a gift but he ignored it and I am sure he would all of the toys. He just does not relate to "doing something". Just wants to sleep all the time. I don't know if he is past the stage or would never have been in it.
Divvi I too agree. No one here has ever upset me, but well meaning friends have. Lynn use to love to do word searches, so when these became too difficult I bought large print children ones. I was often told it was demeaning to buy him children’s items. I did take offence. I was not trying to humiliate or degrade him, I was trying to find an activity his poor AD mind could still do. By the way he LOVED them :)
I think what helps Lynn more than anything I could buy, is having the children live with us. He often "helps" with homework or gets involved in a game of go fish. He is never corrected, we just go with the flow. The same with the coins, pennies are with dimes, but who cares? He thinks he is doing something important and he enjoys it.
Sunshyne's list reminds me of a book I had when my kids were little ' What to do when there's nothing to do'! One time I got out 4 wash cloths and a hand towel for my DH to fold and it was hilarious. He had no idea what to do - put them on top of his head and around his neck! At least I had entertainment! My very favorite activity was reading aloud. It brought us together for an hour or so each day and I still cherish those memories after my husband has died.
I've just been researching books that are available on AD, and ordered two. They just arrived so I haven't had a chance to do more than skim them.
"Strengthen Your Mind -- Activities for People with Early Memory Loss" by Kristin Einberger & Janelle Sellick (there are two books -- I got the first one) is mostly worksheets that your ADLO can work on by himself, or the two of you can do together and use as a "take off point" for good discussions. You'd want access to a copier so you can duplicate the worksheets, to do the exercises over and over.
"Alzheimer's Activities Vol 1" by B.J. FitzRay has a gazillion ideas. I'm having trouble putting it down long enough to post... It's broken into categories. Just to give you an example, there's a section on science (I just tripped across it, honest) and it includes: - Attend a school science fair. (I've judged those, they're absolutely fascinating!!! It's amazing what even the grade school kids come up with. Guess what my husband will be doing next spring.) - Discover televised science programs (it gives a list of possibilities) - Experiment with magnets (gives tips) - Invite a child to share his or her school science project with you - Make bubble fluid and blow bubbles (gives recipes and tips) - Rediscover "Magic Crystals" (info and tips) - Watch a movie about a famous scientist (lists some)
Time for a commercial: you can buy books from amazon.com through the link on the Spouse home page.
Found another list or two, not sure how much overlap there is, but here they are:
ACTIVITIES - THE CORNERSTONE OF CARE FOR ALZHEIMER’S PATIENTS
Physical Activities Walks Exercise class Stretching Drum beating Toss beach balls, beanbags Exercise hoops Parachute activity Bowling Swimming Dancing Chair basketball Arts and Crafts N4ake theme decorations Watercolor, crayons, pastels Decoupage Paper-mache Magic markers Art with Children Card making Nature art Sponge painting Collage
Mental Stimulation (No rules, use discretion) Modified bingo Concentration Dominoes Trivia Games Word listing games Photo identification Large puzzles Checkers Flash cards
Discussion Groups (Assist with objects to see and touch) Current events Films Travel Story telling Horoscopes Dear Abby
Reminiscence (Use objects to show/touch smell to assist with memory) Family albums, old photographs Familiar music Old movies Antiques Historical information Cooking
Homemaking chores Sweeping Folding laundry Washing table Making bed Washing/drying dishes Setting table (one step at a time) Music Listening Singing Rhythm instruments Strumming an Autoharp Relaxation records Relaxation Walking Gardening Animal-assisted therapy Guided imagery Reassurance and touch
Outings (Generally to quiet places, no crowds, planned ahead, extra staffing) Coffee shop Flower shop Nature walk Concert. Picnic Pet shop Museums Fashion show Petting zoo
Drama (When appropriate) Characterizations Expression of emotion Poetry, plays, story telling
Special Programs Intergenerational programming (visits from young) Guest musicians, shows, actors, and mimes Family parties or open house Theme holidays and events
****************************************************************************** Sensory Awareness Isolate the senses and plan an activity.
Taste foods that are sweet, sour, salty, chewy, smooth, and hard. Discuss good versus bad flavors and favorite foods.
Touch by massage. Discuss the hands, the size and number of fingers, and tough different fabrics and textures. Make bread, blow bubbles, work with clay, and tend plants. Grooming involves tough. e.g., hair and nail care, hand lotions, and massage.
Smell perfume, spices, chocolate, lemon, fruits, and coffee.
Having clients identify themselves in photos, identifying objects such as flowers, and trying on Hats and clothing stimulates sight.
Hear different sounds — animals, musical instruments -- loud / soft, high / low, fast / slow, pleasant / unpleasant.
Courtesy of the Alzheimer's Day Center, San Francisco Institute on Aging, Mount Zion Hospital and Medical
These all sound like great things to give a high school student ideas on how to deal with your spouse while you take a couple of hours off during a day. They all require a second person. What we need at least SOME of the time is the equivalent of the bouncy chair we used to put toddlers in while they watched Captain Kangaroo! Something to help them to learn to play by themselves!
I'm guessing DH is in stage 5+. He really enjoys napping, watching TV if I find a program or movie for him to watch. He loves to hold and pet our lilttle black kitten. A friend gave him a lazer light and he likes to play with Kitty with that. He loves to eat ice cream w/chocolate syrup and cookies. And he enjoys playing cards once a week. He does not like to go out to lunch with friends, doesn't like to walk around our neighborhood. If someone stops by, he likes that but if I want to invite friends over he doesn't want to do that. He buys the Sunday paper every Sunday butr only looks at the comics. Doesn't even read the Parade section any more.
I don't know what else to suggest to him. He always just smiles and says "Oh, you go ahead." even if it's a 2 person task.
I have been entertaining myself playing solitare on the computer so thought today I would see if I could interest my dh with it. He has never even ever used a computer or paid any attention to one. I set him at the table with my laptop in front of him and he looked at the about 15 seconds and started talking about something else, so end of that.
He started talking about playing solitare with cards several years ago, so I got out the cards and gave them to him. He sorted them by suits and then put them back in the box. End of that.
sometimes we think we just need to get them interested in anything to keep them from vegetating..well, now i dont try to entertain as much as before, and let him find what he wants to do..mainly looking and talking to the 'guys' in the hall mirror! at some point they just have attention deficit bigtime so we have to just let it be. divvi
My DH is still pretty high functioning, but I don't know what I would do without the laptop! He plays golf on it and all kinds of card games. That's what he does from after lunch to about 4 p.m. Then the TV goes on for NCIS, then the news. After dinner he takes the dog for a walk; then gets ready for bed - but again watches TV, more NCIS or House! Finally goes to sleep around 10 p.m. Sleeps all night! Yea!!!
For those still able the Wii offers all sorts of interactive activities. My daughter has introduced it to SNFs and rehab centers all over the country with fantastic results. Even has little old ladies trying out the boxing. I tried the yoga and tennis and really worked up a sweat