Joyce43,
My DH talks about death a lot and has for the past six months or so. His famous saying is "It's not worth it." He says he would rather be dead. This usually follows an incident like you described where he just can't do something he has always done without any thought or effort. It's really hard to say what their brain cells are doing other than of course dying. It's almost like a light bulb goes on in his head and the reality of his disease hits him. Then he goes back to the fog and the sleep and the memory issues that go on and on.

My DH has gained some weight also, probably lack of exercise, and actually eating three meals a day (although I try to keep his diet healthy). My DH has had a lot of problems with walking, and unsteadiness on his feet. He has major problems getting up from a sitting position. As a matter of fact, today we had a lift chair delivered. It's also a recliner and only has two buttons that he needs to learn to control. It is really nice to get him out of the chair, in an almost standing position and then he can get to the walker and move around. All this without any assistance from me. This is WONDERFUL for me because I was holding his arm and helping him rock to get in a standing position. My nephew also put plywood boards cut to size to fit under our sectional cushions. That really helps too. Also my DH is in physical thereapy twice weekly to help with his gait and help him strengthen his leg muscles.

I know all this may get even worse, but for now....this is where we are and sounds like maybe a pattern that others follow in a similar way. God Bless!

Perhaps two or three years ago my wife M said to me "It looks like I'm not going to make it" when we were discussing longevity of some relatives. A year or so later, she wasn't feeling well and said quite seriously "Take your gun and shoot me!" For safety, I do keep my guns locked up and out of sight. Her death wishes disappeared after she entered stage 6. Now confusion limits her talk to little more than "ok, yes, no." I didn't think she would survive 2007. I am fearful about 2008.

She also has gained weight from lack of exercise. She has trouble standing up and walking. I hold her hand firmly when we are in public to prevent falls and wandering away. Its so sad, she was once smart, slender, athletic and very active.

My dh has made the odd comment about dying, from time to time. Not that he exactly wants to but the fact that he probally won't be around that long, or "what's the use". I can't say that I blame them

I also bought a lift chair for him so I would have it when I needed it. Found a used one for $200. that looks like new. He really isn't ready for it yet, so I put it in his BR for later. He has to "rock" himself to get up from his recliner and has had to for 6 months but I don't believe it is any harder for him now than then. He takes a good bit of time getting in and out of the car. Last year I thought a crossover would be easier for him but now I don't think so. He says he does better with our full-size Buick than with his Chevy Coronada 4 wd. I bought him one of those tools that looks similar to a screwdriver to use in the latch of the door and supposed to make it easier, but he doesn't use it.

When the Hospice aide was helping with my Mom, she showed us the proper way to help someone out of a chair and
is does make a remarkable difference and not hard on your back. I have never tried it with dh and he is heavier. She said to kind of squat down in front of them and have them hug you around the neck and shoulders and then lock your wrists
around them at the waist and pull them up using your whole body instead of just your back. I don't know if this will help anyone or not.

Andrea used to sit in bed and cry. On good days when she would be aware, she'd cry that she wanted to die from this disease. On bad days when she didn't know what was wrong with her, she'd cry that she didn't want to die.

This disease is absolutely appalling. But, like everything else, the crying and speaking of death was a stage.