I've seen several people mentioning needing assistance with various chores or aspects of doing the work the spouse used to do. Here is a website that allows you to list things that you need help with so that when someone says "is there anything I can do to help" you can give them this website: www.lotsahelpinghands.com. When they go to the website they can choose how to help from the list you made, that way you'll know they're really doing what they want to do andhave time to do. Plus I just hate asking but this way they aren't put on the spot and I don't have to remember everything I need at a moment's notice.