Just in case, divvi, what kind of medication was prescribed for your DH when he did get "out of sorts and aggressive"? It sounds like your husband has the same personality as mine. I can't imagine him ever being like that and I'm still trying to accept the fact that his mind is being altered.
Dazed, of course the black box on all the drugs nowdays keeps us at bay when it comes to having to think of actually giving it for behavioural issues. but that said, my DH neuro gave zyprexa right away when he pulled his fist back a couple of times. yipes!! talk about surprised! of course it was bathtime then and trying to remove his clothing and get into the shower was one of his most disturbing tasks. regardless of the mild mannered man i married he was a boxer in college and of course i knew what could happen. so dr agreed if he goes into a facility there would be many drugs given to subdue and he knew it was in best interests to keep him at home so we opted for the zyprexa. it zonked him out mostly and he slept ALOT-only up to eat and vitals, etc. i complained about being zonked and dr changed to seroquel and surprising it made him More aggressive so we went back to zyprexa and lowered to a super min dose-it did the trick and kept him easy to handle for about 4mos. then we went into namenda when it came out and seemed to be easier to manage so we cancelled the zyprexa. both of these drugs have side effects that can raise blood sugar levels which it did in my DH and he went 'pre-'diebetic for about a yr and we controlled with diet and had to prick fingers daily. it was not a good time ( he LOVES sugars and was very sullen on this diet)-luckily after a yr his sugars came back down and we are ok now but its good to know alot of these meds cause not so good side effects. many take seroquel here and have very good results. your dr will know which is good to try with your husbands background. dont be afraid to medicate if aggression or hostility occurs. my best, divvi
dazed-I drove myself crazy separating the disease from the monster living in my house. It would have killed me. No happy ending here. Bill is in a great dementia facility where he is safe and well cared for. After an almost 50 year good marriage I am trying to learn how to start over.
I am 63; this is my second marriage. We have been married 29 years and he has been sick fully 1/3 of our marriage. He is in the very last stages of AZ. And due to a stroke, he doesn't talk. He rarely responds to my talking to him, he can barely walk, and he rarely knows who I am. He hasn't known my name for at least a year.
The man I used to love is gone. This man, who is in a care home, has my deepest sympathy and I care about him. But the man I loved is gone.
Maybe that's a cruel way to look at it, but it the only way I can deal with this. He is at the point that it really doesn't make any difference whether or not I'm there. I have cut down the number of times during the week that I go to see him, but that's for me.
There is nothing that takes away any sexual feelings faster than having to clean up your spouse - that's when I started separating the man he used to be and who he is now.