I invite you to log onto the home page of the website - www.thealzheimerspouse.com - and read today's blog about thinking too much about what the future holds for our lives with AD. Please post comments and opinions here.
Joang: A tough one. We all have every right to remember our plans and think about what might have been. Certainly no sin in that, so no reason to feel bad about thinking about it once in a while. Our plan was to work very hard and provide for ourselves in an early retirement after pouring our lives into raising the kids and getting them through college. We did without a lot of things but fortunately, due to job, did do a lot of traveling. Just not enough. I can always find something to feel sorry for myself about. When I get caught in that I try to think of others who have it worse than I for whatever reason. It helps me. You have a gift for writing and selecting some very powerful topics. I appreciate this site a whole bunch. Thenneck
The traumatic experiences of living the deaths of our members loved ones here reminds us each day that all here know the same fate awaits in the wings. its a sober reminder that our real hidden purpose here is to help ourselves and others thru a long painful dying experience. not what i want to hear or write but still the same fact at hand. everytime we log on here to read of the daily experiences others are witnessing, we ourselves are seeing our own futures. maybe not the exact time frames or daily struggles as everyone elses, but in the end it all melts down into a common enemy. for me, the unknowing what lies ahead is harder than knowing. i want to be prepared so learning from others who are ahead of me, seems to soothe me in a strange way. looking back into the past brings up wonderful memories too but also just seems to reproduce the pain of what can no longer be. an end to the 'happier' times of life is very hard to digest. today i am sad and melancholy over the loss of life many of our members are enduring- AD is robbing us on a daily basis and its like being assaulted over the over again. divvi
I am more afraid of the future this week due to the financial crisis. I thought I had enough money for a few years of nursing home care when the time comes. Now I'm not so sure. I have no desire to try to keep him at home as long as possible. Sometimes I wish I could move him right now.
Hildann, I'll tell you what I've told others: go to an elderlaw attorney. Or go to a talk by one - here our Alzheimer's Association sponsors them a couple of times a year; or call them and ask them to recommend someone. You want elderlaw, not estate planner. I'm not sure of the difference in your ages but remember you have to be taken care of, too, eventually, and you can't spend all your money on HIS care. Believe me, it's worth the money.
I know that Joan had a blog on what if you die first. After todays dr appt and having found out I need oxygen, I'm very worried about the future. Then when I got home, I looked at the news and saw the stock market. We don't have a lot of investments, but we were hoping they'd take care of us until we passed away and would be able to leave something to our children/grandchildren. I guess i'm showing a lack of faith tonight, but, I'm really nervous. But, I do know, we will be all right in the long run. Just tonight, I feel nervous.
I've been battling diarrhea - it's better after the gi guy gave me some lonox - but he says he wants me to have a colonoscopy. I had 1 two years ago. So of course in the dark of night I get to thinking, well maybe I have colon cancer or stomach cancer or something.
And you know, for the first time in my life I thought, oh, well, THAT would be a relief! To just get out of all the responsibilities and worries. I've never felt that way before, I've always rejoiced in living. ANd I'm out of the funk this morning. But thinking about it scares me!
briegull, this AD caregiver stress will give one diarrhea! You might just have a colon that is spasming due to stress. Let's hope that is all it is! And you KNOW how I feel about colonoscopies! <grin>
Please don't let yourself worry about "what ifs" right now. That could make your condition worse.
Here is a big hug and know that you are in my heart. Keep us posted as to what the doctor tells you!
briegull, Last year when my husband told me he didn't have any money left & was selling the house, my immediate reaction was diarrhea. I still have it. I had fecal studies done, a colonoscopy, nothing showed up. I researched & researched & found the #1 cause of chronic diarrhea is stress. I had thought we were safe, because we had all this money for retirement. In a blink of the eye, my security was gone. I did have some success with the Bratt diet. Bananas, rice, applesauce, toast & tea. But how long can you live on that?
I should have gone to a gi, but didn't. What is lonox?
briegull, Mary and Kitty make a good point. It seems like we all have a place in our body where we hold our stress...mine is in my digestive system. Sounds like maybe yours is too? Sending you a hug and well-wishes!
Good wishes to you all, we watched as our life savings dwindled as well. It is scary at this age and with the hand we have been delt. I am hanging on to the hope that it will go back up in time. I want to keep my husband home, he is doing so much better on the meds.
Briegull, I do hope it doesn't end up being more than stress related. Odds are pretty good that is what it is. Like kitty I had the whole gamut of testing 2 years ago, they concluded it was from stress as well. Best of luck and hope you feel better soon!
I am better at the moment. I sat my husband in front of a dvd of Cosi Fan Tutti and it kept him happy for the whole afternoon. He's always loved opera, so I'm maxing out the netflix collection! I actually got some work done on the land trust website we've been updating.
You know I've travelled a lot - and had an absolutely iron stomach. So it's frustrating to see stress throwing me off!! Today hearing that music made me sad - I had been in Berlin in 05 when it was performed at the Philharmonic there, in a concert version. Simon Rattle and Kiri te Kanawa. Highly desirable tickets. My German friend, a strong woman who grew up in East Germany, had taken me all over town sightseeing all day. I was grubby and hot. Or at least felt so. She marched up to the ticket booth, said she had a special guest who was only there for the one night, and got us fabulous seats that had been turned in. So we went - but I curled up in my seat at intermission, embarrased to emerge in my travel clothes when everyone around me was in full formal dress!
briegull, what a wonderful experience you had! Not only that one, but others you have related here! I enjoyed your website so much! You have a big load of great trips to keep in your heart!
I hope you are feeling better today. Are you still having the colonoscopy?
Thanks, Mary. haven't heard from the nurse who was supposed to call me back. But I'm feeling much better.
I have my trip pictures as background on my computer; they change every half hour. Right now there's one of my favorites up: a little Roman lady sitting on a low wall, taking a rest while walking her little spitz-type dog in her neighborhood. And behind her, ignored by her of course, is the Roman Colliseum, looming in all its glory.
I'd just come from a couple of hours walking there. Oh, and at one door in the wall there was a little old lady-cat sitting quietly. Poor stray, I thought. Just then a man in uniform came up and unlocked the door. Cat scampered in to her food dish on the floor! (for newbies, relax and go to Italy with me: http://www.briegull.com/Italy06/ )
Briegull, you probably already know about the Metropolitan Opera broadcasts that are periodically shown in theaters all over the country, maybe near you even. Imagine,full screen close up view and state of the art sound. The web sites to get more info is "Fathomevents" and "Metopera" I hope you can go. Some of the best escape I have found. Andres.