Today's Blog (11/29) is about how things seem to go smoothly (as smooth as they can when dealing with AD) for awhile, and then all of a sudden, something new and disturbing crops up. I just wasn't expecting this latest escalation in forgetfulness.
This is Alzheimer's. It is full of supprises. Ralph does not know my name, but the other day he saw a friend he had not seen in a few months. He walked up to him and said "hello Stan". Figure that one out!!!
It is tough, but it may not be the same tomorrow and he may remember another news story. It throws you - you want to just scream at this disease. The first time Ralph did not know we were married sent me into a tailspin. This happened over a year ago and then it passed and he was aware of our marriage. For the last several months I am just the one who cooks or whatever I do. It is like it is getting us prepared for what will eventually happen. No answers here, but I do understand how you feel. Hold on to the good times and enjoy what you can each day.
No memory of anything here Joang. He doesn't even look at me as a care giver anymore. He has no idea who I am or where he is. It is hard when they forget your name and that you're married but that has been the case for so long that I'm use to it.
Same here, Joyce...he has been at this Stage 7 place for four years now....no communication, no recognition...nothing. After so long it is just what is normal.
Joan, I get so tired of being raised up with hope only to be brought back to the stark reality of AD, that I don't want one day (or one minute) of "maybe this is getting better." I would prefer a slow and steady decline that I can cope with and avoid the let down. DickS
I take whatever good I can get and try to forget the usual responses. Example: my husband usually can't respond verbally and I wonder how he relates to me. I don't think he knows the concept of marriage any more . However, the past two visits to the NH he has initiated touching my face and caressing my check; he hasn't done this in years. So I treasure the moment.
Joan, I know exactly what you mean. The last few days Dick has been asking me questions about how we met, how I managed as as single mother, He says he doesn't remember my kids as being little, yet I met him when my kids were 3 and 6, and we went on many trips together, These memories used to be so precious to him. On his own he has begun going through all our photo albums, so he can see his life. He went to church with me last week, and thought we were in the church where he grew up, He hasn't been there in nearly 60 years. He kept asking our friends at church, "didn't I know you at....church". They were so glad to see him out, they are better than me, and said yes, or it doesn't matter which church we met at, we're your friends... Church people are wonderful. Yesterday he suddenly started crying because he knows now that he can't remember stuff. I can't imagine how hard it is for them, and this is the worst. When he himself can see the decline. On top of it all, his ears get clogged with wax, and he can't hear, so everything has to be really loud, and I couldn't get an appt with the ENT until Monday. Shame on me, I thought I could use an at home remedy, but it didn't work. I finally got him to shower yesterday, and change his PJ's, first time since Thanksgiving. But that's minor. The worse is the loss of his companionship. I just feel so alson, despite the support I get from teh kids, it's ME her, handling everything. Sorry to go on, and on, but this disease is just so cruel.
My Joe hasn't used his dentures in a month. He wouldn't let me help him to clean them and put them in his mouth, he kept telling me that they were not his dentures and he had to go to the dentist to get new ones. I also had to shave him almost every day, because he could not do it. Well one morning this week he got out of bed, went to the bathroom, cleaned his dentures and put them in, he then shaved and came out ready for breakfast. Figure that one out. It was only a one time event. I have to shave him again, and he will not wear his dentures. This disease is just enough to drive one nuts.
I enjoy the moments that Bill wants to hold me. I know he doesn't know who I am but I can still enjoy his arms around me. Bill and I lost a son years ago and as hard as that was, I felt lucky to have Bill to lean on and his shoulder to cry on. I had someone who was going through the same thing as me and knew exactly how I felt. That person is now gone and there is no one that can replace him. Not the kids or relatives or friends, He's just gone and I really miss him and want him back.
Joyce Yes I can relate to that even though Den is not as far as Bill. Last year we lost two his brothers and sisinlaw within two months and I feel like although he felt some and was there, He wasn't there to comfort for me as he always was.Not wanting to sound selfish but he has always keep me going . But even though it is not the same, I can only thank GOD for my children being close to me in all. As I said in answering you in other blog, You are such a trooper, GOD BLESS YOU and continue giving you the strength to go on. Thanks for sharing, PAT