Not signed in (Sign In)

Vanilla 1.1.2 is a product of Lussumo. More Information: Documentation, Community Support.

    •  
      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeSep 6th 2018
     
    If I remember correctly, you go to account, edit profile and put the star there. Just remember when you go to sign in to put the star there too or it won't let you log in. If you know how, make a heart instead.
    • CommentAuthorbhv*
    • CommentTimeSep 6th 2018
     
    Thanks Charlotte. It let me do that and left me signed in.
  1.  
    It's odd how--no matter how bad they are, and no matter how you know the end is coming, and no matter how there is no quality to your life or theirs either, and you can't stand one more minute...and yet...and yet...when they die it is like the world stopped spinning for a minute and then re-started...rotating on a different axis. The world becomes so different--and so do you.
    • CommentAuthorCO2*
    • CommentTimeSep 8th 2018
     
    Elizabeth always says it so well. We do become different people. I am in the process of learning who,I am now. It is as if my life started all over again.
    • CommentAuthorDRA
    • CommentTimeSep 10th 2018
     
    I really don't know who I am right now. It has been since June 27th and some days I think I can do this and move on and other days I feel as lost as I did when it happened, I feel like I am so weak. Everyone tells me I knew you could handle this so I must be a pretty good actor. If trying not to think of him is doing good, then I guess I am. But if I let myself remember him, imagine him standing in the room, I lose it. I can't go to the cemetery and that is mostly because I know he really isn't there. It has been Dave and Sandy since I was 16 years old and now I'm 69 and don't really know. I am just so sad. I know that our journey with Alzheimer was relatively short (diagnosed 2 years ago), but had some issues and after reading how long the suffering goes on for most people, they tell me I was lucky.
    •  
      CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeSep 10th 2018
     
    None of us are lucky whether it be 2 years or 20 years - it is all horrible and heartbreaking. I hate hearing 'you are strong', 'you can handle this', etc. Grieving is a process that takes more than a few weeks. For some it can be years.
    •  
      CommentAuthormary75*
    • CommentTimeSep 10th 2018 edited
     
    Sandy, it's early days yet, and what you're feeling is normal. I think you're still probably in shock, and as that wears off, you'll find yourself dealing with a new realty. It takes time — lots and lots of time — and it goes at its own pace. Eventually you will come to terms with it. Try to be patient and kind to yourself in the mean time.
    • CommentAuthorDRA
    • CommentTimeSep 11th 2018
     
    Thanks for your responses. I guess I always thought of myself as someone who could handle things. But losing my mom and dad did not prepare me for losing Dave. I will try to remember that it does take time and I look forward to the day I can remember the good times and the love we shared.
    • CommentAuthorlindyloo*
    • CommentTimeSep 11th 2018
     
    Those times do come, DRA, the positive memories. But we have to get through the waves of grief that can toss around some. Tsunamis can knock down even the strong. Will carry you in my thoughts and prayers.
    • CommentAuthorbhv*
    • CommentTimeSep 16th 2018
     
    I thought I had been grieving for so long that this would be a relief. But that grief during the alzheimer journey was for something completely different.
    There is certainly a component of relief. I am beginning to enjoy my property again. September was always my favorite month. Now I go outside when I want to do yard work, not as an escape from someone trying to attack me. No one comes sneaking up behind me. I am beginning to drop the hypervigilance.
    Going through the pictures. Researching his military medals and summarizing his career for his sister. Remembering camping trips with him and his boys. Remembering watching him fly and watching him teach the young ones. Seeing how they came from all.around the country to say farewell to their instructor, mentor, friend. It all looks different from here. DURING ...you lose little bits at a time . Now, seeing the before and after superimposed, if you will, is a completely different thing. I feel so ROBBED. He was so ROBBED.
  2.  
    bhv* - it sounds as if his sons were kind and decent. They will surely want the military mementos as well.
    • CommentAuthorbhv*
    • CommentTimeSep 16th 2018
     
    His sons were kind and decent. They soaked up every story. I sent them home with many mementos.

    I just came in from working in the ravine in my new desert tactical boots! WOW. Now that's what I've been looking for. They are as comfy as sneakers but support my whole foot and ankles when I am on the hillside. I love them!
  3.  
    Gosh, I haven't posted for ages, but continue to appreciate your advice. Is anyone still fighting the big corporations for benefits? Does this ever end?

    Ann
    •  
      CommentAuthormary75*
    • CommentTimeOct 1st 2018 edited
     
    Ann, it's good to hear from you again. How are you doing? Please let us know.
  4.  
    Hi Mary!

    I miss all of you! I wish I could say that everything is going well, but in some ways....it is more difficult! How does that make sense?