Nancy, such wonderful news! It's such an encouragement to know there can be "life after"! May you both be happy and enjoy your times together. Congratulations to both!
Congratulations, Lil Sis, from both of us. Joyce hasn't kicked me out yet, so I guess we'll still be getting married in November! We'll be returning to TX in Dec. for our 'snow-bird' stay. So happy to hear your good news. Life can be good after, can't it? Wouldn't it be nice if the four of us could meet to celebrate our new lives!
Nancy, I'm SO! happy for you and the lucky guy who's won your heart. And welcome to the "happy AFTER" club! I'm still hoping to be able to get together with you all for some of that great Lockhart barbecue one of these days.
Gourdchipper, I thought about you right away when all of this began to happen. You showed me that there was -indeed - a life ever after. You're on for that Barbeque!! OUR TREAT!!! We're 25 minutes from Wimberley, too! Come on down! nancy B*
nancy, i am so happy for you. Dick passed away on May 16, and i can't imagine anyone else, but i am thrilled for you, and to know for some of us, there is life after AD. I had forgotten that this thread existed, so i have not been coming much since Dick passed, but I've been feeling like I've missed the support. Just happened to be reading joan's blog today, and noticed the thread highlighted. i'll be coming much more often now. My life is satisfying. Between the kids and my friends I'm kept pretty busy, but sometimes I just cry for no reason. I guess everyone's gone thru that, but it's hard to deal with, and when other people are there, I know it's disconcerting for them. I try to do my crying alone. But of course it's ony not even 2 months, and i know it takes time. expecially after 40 years. Thanks for being there.
((Chris)) so good to see you posting! ♥ I am glad to hear you are doing well and keeping busy. I can only imagine how difficult it must be for you..... ((big hugs))
Chris, it DOES take time. For me, about 7-8 months. I understand the tears that would come from nowhere. It's going to get better..I promise. Hugs, NancyB*
As Chris r mentioned, I had forgotten about this thread until today. Garv died on May 31, and I have been busy patching walls (head holes from numerous falls) and generally getting the house back together . I feel so much better without nasty reminders of damage done to heart and home. Now, as with so many others, I'm trying to find a purpose to make life livable again. It truly is lovely to read of those who have found love again..makes smiles all around.
Hello everyone, it’s been 3.5 months since my dear Susie passed and I never thought that I would ever be happy again. However, sort of by accident, I started communicating with a widow of a friend of mine who passed away five years ago. To make a long story short; I was on a trip by myself in my motorhome with two of my dogs to Bryce NP, Zion NP, the Lake Powel area and Grand Canyon NP from May 18th to June 4th. In some locations I had wifi connections and because of an email joke that a mutual friend forwarded to me and I thought it was from my friend’s widow; I emailed her and we began corresponding via email, texting and cell phone. We started dating the day I returned home from my trip and we have fallen in love.
Has this happened to any of you? I thought I was doing okay after the long stint of care taking and then my husband's death 6 months ago, but lately I've found I'm pretty irritable, more than I'd like to be. Wish I could take things more in my stride. Maybe it's because I'm going to sell the house and find the job of cleaning out the accumulation of 60 years of stuff (some of it his kids and ex-wife's) to be daunting. Or maybe I'm still exhausted from the last 10 years. At any rate, I haven't turned out to be a sweet little old lady, but one more confrontational. Heck, I've got to admit I've always been; I guess I'd hoped that by this age and after the heroic stint battling to care of someone with Alzheimer's that I would have mellowed.
mary75, i agree with bluedaze. selling the home you have lived in and part of the 'we' is very hard and going thru belongings is added stress. take it little by little friend. the caregiving takes a lifetime to get over, and then we probably will never get really over it.
Well hello everyone! I'm recouperating from finally having my Gastric By-Pass Surgery and finally have the time to catch up here. Wow, so much news, lol. My heart breaks for the tragedies and rejoices with all the good news of the "Happy After Life" stories. I'm down 30 pounds as of this morning. Reading these posts, I feel as though I have come home again. I thought that I needed to break away but now think that I simply needed a break. So good to reconnect. Arms around you all, Susan*
You have to hang in there, mary75....it is tough, but once that is over, you can get on with a new life of your choosing. The past is not forgotten, but life is not meant to be lived in the past.
Joyce and I are wrapping up a great vacation traveling through the UP of Michigan for 8 days and spending 10 days in Chicago. I for one am glad to have missed the heat in Dallas while enjoying the cooler temps and beauty of the UP with Joyce.
Wedding plans are on schedule, and we also look forward to Thanksgiving in MI, then going to the hopefully cooled-down TX.
Mary, 1 1/2 yrs later I will find myself all teary over a song, a memory or a momento. We lost my Dad almost 9 yrs ago and my Mom still has her moments when the grief feels new again. Nora is so right, be gentle with yourself. Arms around, S
Thank you everyone for your encouraging words. I've been away for several days and am just now catching up. What you've said makes a lot of sense. So "little by little" is the motto. Lately, I've been getting a strong message that Eric is proud of me. He always said so, but it didn't sink in. When I was up the Coast at a Writers' Festival, I heard from a couple of his old writing colleagues that he was and that he would be to see me carrying on as well as I seem to be (but which looks so feeble to me). And, Bluedaze*, I will be more gentle with myself, because there is no doubt I am still exhausted.
mary75--Several of my husband's friends have told me similar things and it was very gratifying to hear. We know our spouses love/loved us, but the long battle with AD can tend to obscure that. It's so good to be reminded by others.
Today would have been our 44th wedding anniversary. I did not want to recognize the day as others mentioned that they did like it when family and friends acknowledged it. For me, nothing happy about it. I avoided looking at our wedding album and kept myself busy so that I didn't have to deal with it. Our children called to see how I was doing.It is just too painful for me yet. I still dwell on the end of our journey and how little joy there was. The good happy memories are there somewhere, but I feel they are lost to me, can't recall them---does that make any sense?
I have vacationed with my daughter and son in law for many wonderful trips. Usually we wind up in Savannah as a half way point to our destination. We were thinking of Charleston this year. As we were planning we realized we all love Amelia Island so that will be out stop over this year. We will stay in our timeshare at our Williamsburg destination. Good things still happen. Not as we planned-but as we make do.
I never read this thread but for some reason today I am. It is not what I expected. There is love, sorrow, pain, happiness, new love, and promises of a better tomorrow. I don't have my star yet but have watch so many of you attain yours. All of you are my hero. I often think of you as I battle this war. I am so glad so many of you are finding life after loss of a friend or loved one. I will continue to read this thread and hope the best for all of you. Congrats to all of you that have found new love..... Be easy on yourself and let time heal to you that are still so sad....... And thanks to all of you for coming back "after" and helping the rest of us that are still on this journey understand more for tomorrow....... Love and prayers of comfort to all of you.....
The 25th would have been Diane's 49th birthday, and the 26th would have been our 50th wedding anniversary. My husband died two months and 18 days before. I was fortunate to have good wishes from so many of our family here, and e-mails to help me through it. Also I had a girl friend come over and share some wine and cheese with me. I remembered the good times, cried some, and lauged some. I feel much better now.
I am so glad to see so many of our family here create new lives, and to those who have found new loves, I'm so happy for you! I'm attending the wedding of one of our "family" this weekend, and I couldn't be happier for her and her new love!
I keep telling myself that today is the first day of the rest of my life. I intend to make the most of it. And I lived through my husband's AD, and I still want to experience more joys and fun. I've learned so much from our family here. We take the roller coaster ride of memories of our spice, and the highs of joy of life and do the best we can.
Wedding is less than two months away now.........Joyce has picked out a wedding dress, we have the rings, and we met with the priest, so now all that's left is the license. The wedding will include only children and grandchildren. The kids insisted on a reception so we agreed they could have one the day after, and invite anyone they wanted.
Shortly I will be going on a trip with my daughter and SIL. We usually go together yearly. This trip will mirror the last trip my husband and I went on. That trip was a disaster and one of the biggest mistakes of my life. I think we will even be staying at the same resort. I am starting to panic. I will either lose it completely or enjoy the sights I couldn't before. At that stage my FTD husband was so unpredictable that his doctor actually phoned me along the way to see how I was doing. I could use some prayers.
Oh, bluedaze, prayers are going up for you. I hope you will be able to enjoy this trip and not panic, but just enjoy all the things you could not before. Breathe, breathe - and here's lots of hugs (((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))).