I have just discovered this message board and have read all of the comments about missing our spouses and our lives the way they were. I cried all the way through. One person said it was like stumbling into a tribe that spoke her language. All I can say is.......AT LAST. This is such a terribly hopeless and lonely road, especially since my husband no long can share anything at all with me. The fact is, this once fun loving, intelligent, handsome, athletic, talented and caring person, doesn't even like me much anymore. I know the person who used to live in that body loved me and that is what I hang on to.........not the blank, empty eyes that can't even focus on anything. I keep pictures of who he was around me so I don't forget his smile. His doctor said to me once not to let myself become so engrossed in this awful thing that has taken over his life now so much so that I forget who he was. I will never forget who he was and the person in front of me that fades away more everyday still has me in his heart even if Alzheimer's has taken away his brain. All that is gone from his brain is still in mine and I will carry our life and our lifes memories in my brain forever.
Anitalynn, welcome to this site you are among friends at last who know exactly what you are against. your post was eloquent and so very true for all of us who share the loss of a spouse. 'all that is gone in his brain is still in mine'- i love that line i think others here will too. I have been caring for my AD spouse over 8+yrs inhome 24/7 with a few hrs respite from a home health aide per week. its been a long journey and if you read the posts you will find many of us walk directly in your shoes too. glad you are here but sorry for the reasons. my best, divvi
Welcome to my website. I am so glad you found us. Yes, we are a tribe that speaks each other's language. Please log onto the home page of the site - www.thealzheimerspouse.com - there is a wealth of information there. I recommend first clicking on "previous blogs" on the left side of the website, and scroll through to find the topics that are most relevant to you. There will be many. Then click on "Understanding the Dementia Experience" - excellent resource.
Hi--so glad you're here, but sorry for the 'why' you are here. You truly are among friends and you will learn more in a very short time than you ever thought you'd be able to absorb. Blessings.
Dear Anitalynn: My sweet love is gone now, but while I was his caregiver, I did become immersed in AD and still am. I have a good life now, but I will never forget who he was. We do share a private language. You will feel better here. Most of us believe that we do live in our loved ones heart, even tho they may not show it.
Hello anitalynn. Welcome to our tribe. You are right, it is a lonely road we walk....however, coming here eases the burden for a while. This place has enlightened and informed me; made me laugh, made me cry. I'm glad you found us.
anitalynn, the post about what we miss about our AD spouses made me cry too. Where else but this web site could we share so much of our lives since AD invaded our homes. Welcome. I hope you find comfort here.
Anitalynn, I'll add my welcome too. Our group keeps growing and there is always room for more! There are several great discussions going on, plus some that are just for fun, and then you can start a new one whenever you feel the need. We'll be here for you!