Lizbeth thought it would be a good idea to gather a list of strategies that promote the health, well being, and happiness of the CAREGIVER .
You gave us caregiver tips on taking care of your spouse in the thread "Things I wish someone had told me back in stage 2-3" , which became the basis of the new "caregiver tip" section on the home page.
Now we are asking for tips and strategies on HOW TO TAKE CARE OF YOU - THE CAREGIVER SPOUSE. It would be helpful for future use, if you would number them.
Here I go with #1. EXERCISE - great stress reliever. If you can't do anything strenuous, take a WALK. If you can't walk, try a stationary bike. If that's too difficult or expensive, get one of those little pedal things(http://astore.amazon.com/wwwthealzheim-20/search/103-3766747-6085409?node=3&keywords=stationary+bike&preview=) that sit on the floor. Let me tell you, they provide a much better workout than you can imagine.
#2 TIME FOR YOURSELF - Take a little bit of time just for you each day. Whether to pray, read, watch the mountains. I love my garden and can usually get 10 or 15 minutes picking peas or digging something.
FLgirl, I am with you on the music. I started taking piano lessons 3 years ago on my lunch hour. (Never too late to learn!) It has been the best thing. It is a great emotional release and really engages my mind. Plus,I love my piano teacher. She always praises me, and is so encouraging.
# 5 Yoga, Relaxation tapes or Mediation. These have healthful physiological, psychological and biochemical benefits. My sense of balance is not what it used to be and I get pretty tense and stiff so I just started a yoga class. Already my muscles are feeling more relaxed. :)
# 6- dance and laughter ! I take part in an international folkdance class with a wonderful group of women. There is a lot of laughter, the music is wonderful and it is great exercise. It is the highlight of my week.
#7 - SOCIALIZE - So often the caregiver gets so consumed in the daily care of their loved one that too often, one becomes isolated from the people and activities they use to enjoy. Alzheimer’s has taken many of your spouses abilities…. it hasn’t claimed yours. Keep living, spend time with family and friends.
#7 - Make sure you get to your doctors regularly for your check-ups too.
#8 - Do things that make you feel beautiful/handsome and useful - you may only get a bit of time on an irregular basis but doing something for you will help to keep you more balanced.
#10 - ALLOW HELP - Caring for your spouse is a full time job, one needs to have breaks in order to stay healthy themselves. I use to think I would be a failure if I admitted I couldn't do this alone. A wise person said to me, "dear- EVEN God took one day off" Ask family and friends to relieve you. Later bring in aids or nurses to assist you. It is never too early to bring in help, if you are feeling overwhelmed, NOW is the time to start.
#8 - Socialize--that's a big one with me. Church, play cards, e-mail, cards and letters, phone calls. Invite someone in for brunch/lunch/dinner or dessert. Makes no difference. Just make sure to stay in touch!
A little pet is also very relaxing (most of the time :) and it's good to have something extra to love on.
#9 Be with others. I know that sounds like socialize, but it's actually more broad. I'm talking about people you don't necesarily know. If you have no one to have over for cards and such, go sit in a park and watch others. Go somewhere where other people are around. It helps you keep control, and helps you see you are not alone in the world.
#11 Pay attention. Notice that someone has come to talk to you. Notice that you've allowed yourself a simple pleasure. Try keeping a gratitude list - we all have things to be grateful for. Log that you made or got a phone call.
Just lately I've found that my random choices of activities aren't cutting it. Also, ideas for activities occasionally strike, only to be lost through distraction. And then I read Debbie Macomber's new book, 'Twenty Wishes'. Boy did it strike a chord with me. I will still do the spontaneous things, but I'm also making a list of wishes. They can be old wishes which were set aside, but you'd still like to do. Or they can be new things you'd like to try. In the book wishes ranged from "going to Paris with someone you love" to "dancing barefoot in the rain". As the characters developed their lists and started making them come true, they (widows) began moving out of the stall they'd been locked in as they recovered from the loss of their spouses. They were over the worst of the grief but not moving into their independent futures. As a caregiver, I need to take care of me now, but I also need to look to the future, and my wishes can give me ways to test what might be a part of that future--or not. At least ideas won't get lost, and I won't have to search sometimes for "what do I wanna do now?"
I looked up Twenty Wishes on Amazon, and it sounded so good and so relevant to this discussion about caring for ourselves that I put it up on the home page - www.thealzheimerspouse.com- as one of the recommended books of the week. Anyone interested, go to my home page, click on the icon, and it can be purchased through my Amazon account. I am buying it. Can't wait to read it.
#13 Treat yourself to a massage, manicure, pedicure or just a shampoo and set - It not only gets you out of the house, it means that someone is concentrating on bringing you pleasure and listening to you at the same time. Plus, if you get the massage, you relax your whole body; with a pedicure, having your feet massaged and taken care of will also make you feel better all over; sometimes just having your head or hands massaged is enough to give you relaxation. It's a treat that you should allow yourself at least once a month.