I'm on a cleaning spree which always sets me off. I'm purging momentos that once meant so much and now collect dust. Some I can't throw out-like the last gift from Bill. It was inappropriate and for the wrong occasion-but he was still trying. I wonder what our lives were worth in the grand scheme of the universe. We do have three wonderful kids. I still can't find purpose. I'm always busy and out and about. No-I'm not on mood changers because I don't want to go that route. Maybe I'm just feeling the approaching storm-but at least we will just be getting the feeder bands. Guys-this plain isn't fun anymore.
bluedaze, Must be the barometric pressure though I live thousands of miles away. Don't know what day you wrote but yesterday was a bad one for me also. I had thought after all of these years I did not have any more tears to shed, but as I reflected that he was starting on his 7th year at the NH, the tears started to flow. Like you, I still can't find a purpose for any of this. I try to keep busy and somewhat productive but you wrapped it up neatly in your last sentence. Wish I had a solution. Sandy
well, duh, if your wrote 10 min. ago that would be today. Sorry too early in the morning maybe? Anyway , the sun is shining brightly, the temp is 40 degrees and today is a new day. With that I am going out to conquer whatever comes my way. And hoping your tomorrow will be brighter also. Sandy
Maybe we need something else to occupy some of our time. I decided that I had too many dust collectors. I have a box filled for our bazaar this fall. Be happy. Ike's not coming to Florida. At least, that's one thing to be happy about. I'm happy today because his daughter is coming to spend the day and I'm outta here. First time in two months. I know, I work five hours a day three times a week but today is all for me.The sun's shining here on the west coast of Fl. How is it on your side? Treat yourself to something nice today.
Friday is DH's 55th birthday. We are both taking the day off from work. He is really excited to be able to have a three-day weekend at home with me; I am already anticipating problems and am getting stressed. It's sure funny how something that should be good can make you blue...like you, bluedaze, cleaning out your corners.
They call this disease an emotional roller-coaster for lots of reasons. Having a "blue/off" day is one of them.
Who says we always have to have a purpose? Sometimes it is nice to float for a day or two or three. Beyond that, it is time to find some goal that you want to achieve - cleaning out the clutter is a good one.
There have been many times on this journey that I have been very glad that I still work - it really does give me a reason to get up in the morning (of course the hungry dogs and cats walking on me help too).
So - how about a class in something you have always been interested in but never taken the time to do? I still want to learn how to tat - maybe one of these days I will be in the right place and time and get to learn it.
Bluedaze, I am sorry you are having a down day. I wish I had a magic wand that could take away your pain, all of our pain.
I remember when my grampa went into a nursing home, he had his chair and his tv as his prized possessions. I remember thinking, is this what it was all for? Is this the reward for working hard, living right, being the best that you can be? A chair and a TV?? It hit me really hard, and I have never forgotten how defeated I felt at that moment.
"Defeated" is a good way to describe how I feel today. Knowing that nothing I do will be the right thing. And that there is nothing I can do to make anything right. I guess I'll dig some more potatoes tonight.
Good heavens! Is it the moon or what? Yesterday was my day. It was very stressful. I knew what I was doing was needed but I sure wan't having a whole lot of fun. Then got a rotten call from my brother which ended with me acting badly. This morning the sun is out. The breeze is blowing. My new little black kitten sat on the window sill and watched the leaves blowing on a tree just outside the window. He kept putting his sweet little paw up to catch the leaves. Then he took a hike--ran down the hall into the bedroom under the bed. I called him out and here he came covered with dust bunnies. They were hanging on the tips of his ears and he wasn't black any more. He was gray. At first I felt bad becuse I haven't dusted in a couple of weeks and then I felt really happy because if I'd been diligent about dusting, i would never have seen that funny little guy. Then he got the sneezes from sniffing all that dust. DH and both really laughed hard at him. We got him all cleaned up, petted him to make him purr and, life is good.
ps--got my handy swiffer out and dusted under the bed. I have hardwood floors and they may have to go after 45 years. I believe God brought that kitty into our lives to make us laugh. Ya' think??
I'm sorry whatever day you wrote was bad and sincerely hope today is a better one.
I think you made a great decision, Mawzy. They are so much company and enjoyment. Our little kitty of 7 weeks is now 13 months old. She used to be cuddly and loving, sitting in your lap, etc. and after she got to be a year old she turned into a "kitten teenager". Independent and not as loving. grrrrr. I guess it is her disposition but enjoy yours while she is little. I have thought about getting another kitten but not sure how she would be accepted.
bluedaze, Ike's "friends" have arrived here on the Gulf coast. Since late afternoon it's been windy and raining. I expect it'll be more of the same tomorrow. At least, not a hurricane for us. Hope you're feeling in better.