My LO's psychiatrist told him yesterday that she does not think he should drive. She said that he is on so much medication for his heart, depression - which is well managed and now AD and he recently had a TIA. She said all the things I wanted him to hear - the possibility of hurting one of us, killing someone else and that the lawyers would take us to the cleaners. She told him that as we get older we have to do a variety of measures to take care of our mental, physical and financial wellbeing. He shed some tears, but agreed with her - until next month. He says he will see what she says then - she has been seeing him for over ten years and isn't going to change. I know she won't do anything official unless she talks to me. I used to work with her when I was in Mental Health. I felt like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders.
Now, I need some suggestions about how to insure that he is able to have some freedom out of the house. He isn't interested in doing exercising and doesn't have any friends - so that is out. We do live on a bus line. What has worked to get your LO out. My husband is very high functioning, doesn't get lost - mood change and forgetting what was said or done are his issues.
Thank all of you for the support you have given me. I know that there will be another monster soon that will pop up, but for now I am a happy camper. His cardiologist and neuro didn't see a problem with the TIA - we did have ultrasounds and everything looked ok but.......... So I am glad that at least one of his physicians has some common sense.
Having a history of TIA would be of concern to me. they get super disoriented and could get lost. maybe getting him into a club of sorts where he can go for the 'day' to hang out and visit and mingle? daycare works for many too-maybe just dont call it that but volunteer work. i think someplace he could go for a few hrs a week to get out but would stay put in one particular place and you could have some sort of vigilance over him. not just out wandering without knowing where he is. they are always looking for volunteers in hospitals, and community centers. i know my mom doesnt have AD but has had TIA and we worry about her going and not letting us know too. but she stays active in bingo/bunko/dominoes/redhats/all sorts of activites. you may need to get the bus schedules down and go with him to make sur he knows how to get where hes going too. good luck,divvi
Oh, wow, dagma3, you hit on the exact subject that is going on here. What to do all day??????? We're looking into volunteer work - our Alzheimer's Association is always looking for volunteers to do paperwork type stuff - the woman called today for Sid. Unfortunately, the one day next week that they needed him, he has a doctor's appointment out of town.
He's too high functioning for Day Care. He is EXACTLY like what you said about your husband - "doesn't get lost - mood change and forgetting what was said or done are his issues." We had talked about getting him involved in advocacy programs for early onset patients - I'm checking it out.
Last June the adult day care center in our town opened. For the next couple of months my wife was the only one there. She and the staff person would drink coffee and work jig-saw puzzles. Now there are more people there. Today when I picked her up she was in no hurry to leave. I take her there Mon, Wed, and Fri mornings. A couple of days a month she stays well into the afternoon. Fortunately, most of the time she is happy doing whatever I want her to do.
Thanks for your suggestions. So far volunteer anything hasn't interested him, but maybe if I go first and ask him to join me, he might get involved that way. He is very friendly and outgoing - unless he gets crossed. I have tried to get him into a men's group - he likes the men but is a loner. I am going to start a list to check out what might work for him.
How about volunteering at an animal shelter? They are so short staffed. They just don't have the time to see to the critters. Perhaps he'd enjoy that. It would give him plenty of independence. Think about it.
I like the idea of him volunteering if he is high functioning.
My husband is also a loner. At the moment he is taking long walks every day. His situation is strange since he is all over the map as far as stages go, but he has no problem coming home on his own every day. Because of all his other medical problems the long walks alone are probably not the best thing for him to be doing, but frankly his cardiologist would be happy he is doing it.
A local neighborhood volunteer group has started taking him out to lunch every other week. A few of them have additional plans for weekly group events that will include him. He has been enjoying the socializing. Not only could your husband participate in something like that as the person who needs socializing, he could be one of the volunteers right now.
And I like the idea of volunteering at an animal shelter as well. So I'll second that one.
I mentioned it before on a different thread, but one that that helps my husband is his walk to the nearby elementary school where he listens to children read orally to him. He feels like he's contributing and helping the kids, the kids always love having someone pay attention to them and it seems to be a win-win kind of thing. It's a short walk so he can do it himself while I'm at my school all day.
A word of caution on LO's taking walks. There was a front page article in our local paper today about a 69 year old man who went out for a walk last May and hasn't been seen since, in spite of intensive searching. It was in a rural area, so he probably got lost in the woods. He had just had a fight with his family over not being able to drive, so they let him go to calm down. He had Alzheimer's, but they didn't give the stage. The family hopes he (his remains) will be found when hunting season starts.
marsh, I know. I think I mention the walks a lot because they really worry me. But frankly there are two reasons why I let him go. It would be dangerous for me to try to stop him. And it really is something his cardiologist would approve of.
I'm aware that the most likely thing to happen to him that is bad, is not that he would not know how to come home. The most likely bad thing is that he will have a heart attack or stroke while he is out there and alone. He has that kind of medical history.
The immediate area is suburban. The extended area is rural. Depending on which direction he goes there are fields and other wild places that he could get into trouble in. I know, but practically speaking, there is little or nothing I can do about it.
Starling....Is it possible to get a ID bracelet for him to wear so if he gets lost it would be easy for the police to find him. My husband can't walk over 50' so I have did nothing in that regard. If he could walk, first I would have to figure a way to get him to agree to wear it (son in law could do that).
Imhor, he is carrying a wallet. It has his name, address and phone number, his doctor's name, address and phone number and his drugs and how much. In fact his name and address is in there in more than one place. He always carries it. I'd expect that the police or EMTs would look for a wallet and open it in an emergency.
I'm considering some changes to the emergency document he carries. But haven't gotten to it yet.
I thought about the ID bracelet, but I doubt I could get him to wear it.
Yes, I know. The trouble is if he would fall in a remote place it might take days to find him, and that is the big problem. The bracelet our Police Dept. has, has a device in it that they can track them down like a GPS thing. They demonstrated it for a club I am in. If you have someone with influence to convince him about wearing it would be good. In my case I think son in law would have more influence.
My granddaughter was a part-time respite worker for the teenager in WV who had one of those mental diseases some children have and while the family were on vacation in WV he became lost and it took a lot of people a few days to find him. They then heard about the bracelet and now has one. I think it would be great if one could be put on any AD patient capable of walking especially in airports or large theme parks etc. A friend of mine said she lost her husband in WallMart one day - and that was scary. I used to do that too, and it is scary. I used to spend half my WallMart time looking for husband. He just would not pay attention and I imagine that was the dementia.
Would he carry and use that "I have fallen and I can't get up" button? I don't know if it works away from a house...it just popped into my brain...I love my chaperone cell phone, so I CAN track mine down.
What Imohr is talking about is most likely Project Lifesaver - go to the home page of this website - www.thealzheimerspouse.com and look on the left side. Click on the Project Lifesaver section. There is a website and video there that explains it all.
The program is run through your local sheriff's office, and is used for dementia patients and autistic children.
Verizon and Sprint offer them. You get a chaperone cell phone for your spouse and a "parent' phone for you. You can "Locate" the other phone with an address and a map as long as the phone is on. I am notified by a "call" if he goes three blocks from the house, and can find him. It's great! I have only had to use it once, but every time we go somewhere, it goes off, so I know it's still working!