Why does it need to be so hard to close a credit card account? Today, my husband received 2 credit cards from Bank of America. Different account numbers, expiration dates & credit limits. I guess when we purchased our new car, they automatically approve you for a card. These cards have not been activated. I called today to close the accounts, of course I couldn't do that because they are in my husband's name. They would need to speak to him, well that is not going to happen. I tried to explain he has dementia, didn't matter they would not close the account without his approval. So now I must send a POA with a letter requesting the accounts be closed. I HATE THIS DISEASE!!!!!
sounds like a plan to me. I had called the bank and told them to close one of his accts. The bank called the house and wanted to talk to him. I explained he has dementia--nothing doing. He had to talk to them. So, I called him to the phone. He was so confused. Ended up telling them he always has his secretary handle his personal affairs for him. Is that funny or is it just me? I took the phone. They cancelled the acount and that was that. No fuss. no mess. He always referred to me as his secretary. Sometimes you just have to laugh. How funny is that?
Kadee, really and truly, write to them as if it's coming from him, and sign for him. Chop up the cards into tiny pieces and put them in the envelope. Get indignant that they issued cards without his request or authorization, that'll keep them from pursuing it any further. These people will drive you insane otherwise.
Mawzy, your husband was GREAT!!! my gosh yes, that was funny. <grin>
After my appt. with the Elder Law attorney, I needed to make some calls. One I knew would be a problem without G's okay. He was mellow with it, so called then said..talk with my wife. I asked if this would work ,and the gal said.." When he handed you the phone, I took it as an Okay!" And we went on to business. Everything should be so easy!
My WW ran up some god-awful credit card balances in the early part of her disease - she was still smart enough to hide the statements from me. When I discovered what had happened I started calling the credit card companies to find out the balances. They were very reluctant and stated that this against their privacy policies. I then would get very mad (but not postal) and told them that I was the one paying the bill and that they wouldn't see a dime if they didn't tell me - they always did.
I've heard that high credit card balances run up by dementia patients are not unusual.
Early in AD, my wife refered to me as her "secretary" when I did her financial paperwork. I would bring her filled out tax forms, etc for her signature and she would smile and call me her secretary. I laughed too. Nowdays, she is unaware of any kind of paperwork and I do all of it for both of us.
I keep all of her ID and credit cards locked up. As they expire, I destroy them if they are not needed.
Divvi, is that why I went out day before yesterday and bought a NICE Fall purse for the first time in years? And never one that expensive.....but I LOVE it! <grin>
Good for you Mary! you deserve every purchase! and oh yes, depression subsides when its extra pricey...like we are getting away with something..hahaah..believe me, i am also the online THERAPY QUEEN as well as POOP QUEEN...i need a red hat now..hahah...like red hat queen..HA!
When I am old, I'm going to wear purple with a red hat....Did you know the woman who wrote that was only 37 at the time. She never wrote anything quite like that again, but I read an interview of her once and she said that old bag had followed her around for 20 years. That's pretty funny.
mawzy, I thought only my husband did that, called me his secretary. I have never been anybody's secretary.... but I take care of all the paper work, so I guess that makes me the secretary. I also make the coffee. (lol). My DH has no active credit cards in his wallet. PS, he also doesn't have his driver's license in his wallet.
They're not called secretaries any more. The PC term is "Administrative Assistant." I had that title for the last 10 years I worked. The AA has more responsibilities but they don't have to bring coffee any more (unless they want to and are hoping for a raise:).
PC=politically correct, ok? I always have to ask what the different terms mean. I don't think I'm keeping current. One of my grandkids told me I need to have a cell phone, a palm pilot and a bunch of other stuff so I could stay in the modern age. I think I'm getting a cell phone for Christmas. That would be nice.
...yeah, provided you can figure out how to work the durn thing.
I've been thinking about getting a Jitterbug, but read somewhere that the service is lousy -- they put false charges on the bill, etc. Anybody have any experience with them?
Oh, they'll show me how to work it. Everyone went together and bought me a large flat screen monitor for my computer a couple of Christmas' ago. It's wonderful! They hooked it all up and everything. One of my grand-daughters in law is a Physical Therapist. She didn't like the way my work station was set up so she had me sit down and she measured me, my chair, the table height, etc. to make sure I was ergonomically correct. How do you like that word???? Everything is fine except now if I sit too long I get a sharp pain on the left side of my spine up by my neck. I never had that before. Go figure....
By the way, I live in the Pacific NOrthwest. It's God's country. Probably the prettiest place in the United States.:)
The pain you are describing is from repetitive stress injury, and it is most likely due to holding your arm up and away from your body, to control the mouse. It might also be due in part to slouching over a little and tilting your head back, to look at the screen.
Take a little breather regularly, rest your neck and shoulders and do gentle exercises for them. Try adjusting the height of the desk where you have the mouse, and/or the height of the monitor. Maybe try a trackball mouse -- you don't have to move the mouse, you just roll the ball, and so you're less likely to hold your arm in an extended position.
Mawzy-I just got a new computer chair also. I played around with the adjustments for quite a while until I was comfortable. I am short and found I preferred the seat and arm rests high. The new chair does not help with my spelling, though
Mawzy - You need a lapatop computer. My old Mac died and I replaced it with a lMac Laptop and son in law hooked it up as wireless or electric. I don't set at the desk anymore, I carry my laptop from my recliner to bed and use it on my lap. Saves a lot of backaches. I hook it up to recharge the battery once a day and to make copies on the printer.
Found some more advice re the repetitive stress injuries. Among the suggestions:
Make sure that the upper arm and elbow are as close to the body and as relaxed as possible for mouse use - avoid overreaching.
Placing the mouse in your immediate reach zone offers natural comfort and maximum hand-eye coordination. Consider getting a mouse platform, such as one that attaches to the chair. (I didn't know they had those ... I think I'd be much happier with the mouse nearly in front of me.)
Hold the mouse lightly, don't grip it hard or squeeze it. Place the pointing device where you don't have to reach up or over very far to use it. The closer you can place it to your body the better.
Don't pound the keys. Use a light touch.
Keep your arms & hands warm. Cold muscles & tendons are at much greater risk for overuse injuries, and many offices are over-air-conditioned.
Use control keys on the keyboard, rather than the mouse, when you can (the arrow keys to move the cursor inside a document, for example)
Position the keyboard so that it, too, is close to you.
lmohr, the problem with the laptop is that you can't position it so that it's in the best place for your arms/shoulders AND your head. The keyboard/mouse should be pretty much in your lap, the top of the screen even with your forehead. You'd have to be folded like a pretzel to use a laptop that way.
If you don't do a whole bunch of computer use, and you move from recliner to bed, then you may be changing position often enough to avoid the worst of the stress.
Of course, just using a Mac avoids a lot of stress anyway, compared to trying to use a PC. <grin>
Yeah, I get your point. I don't use it that much at a time. Mainly checking this site and once in a while looking something up on the Internet, and all in all it works great for me. I don't use a mouse.
yeah, if you're not comfortable with a mouse, the touchpad these days on both macs and pcs is really easy to use, and it saves that gripping that you do with a mouse.
btw, if you're new to a mac from a pc, and used to using the right button on the mouse, you can do that - there are settings in the system settings that let you tap two fingers on the touchpad and that opens up the right button choices.
I had a similar problem w/Bank of America and a card my hsbd got unbeknownst to me along w/a postal mail box, charged WAAAY to much and had nothing to show for it: distance learning that he couldn't do, home businesses, etc., etc. I'm paying off the card, but I had to write them a letter (I signed his name) to close it. Elder law attny has suggested I put all assets in my name or my trust. Gamble the kids will look after him if I go first, but I'm confident they will. Hsbd did agree he shouldn't have a cr cd. Now I'm in the process of stopping junk mail because he responds to it--sometimes just w/humorous comments. Mails only if it has return postage. He LOVES junk mail. Posted how we got his driver's license taken care of at another discussion. The stress of having to do everything (he doesn't even cook anymore:() is wearing me down; sometimes I want to walk through the woods and lie down in the creek, BUT I don't have it nearly so bad as many of you--yet--because he can still take care of his own hygiene, feed himself and do a bit of yard work. LifeLine was another problem for us: constant calls, and chatting w/hsbd because they knew he had dementia and hoped he'd give a bank account # or something. He finally got tired of the chatty sales guy too; so I called them and told them to stop or it was harrassment. Stopped.
Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens. Psalm 68:19
I'm fully convinced the middle stage is as bad as any of them. In the early stages you are grieving for your life. In the end stages you are dealing with someone who is dying, and that has got to hurt.
But in the middle stage every day is another crisis. Another thing he no longer can do. Waiting for the next shoe to drop because this disease doesn't just have two shoes, it has 100 feet and every day it loses another shoe. You get comfortable with the way things are today and maybe were yesterday but you know that tomorrow could be totally different. The new normal isn't going to last.
Interesting. I have been thinking about this a lot lately. About which stage is the worst, if you divide them up into first, middle and end. You just gave me an idea for a blog.
Mac was Dx'd last September and I thought he would have shown more signs by now. His main problem is the short term memory and now and then confusing what happened or didn't happen. We will be making the dreaded trip to Ohio this month to see his sister in ALF. When she was in the seniors apartment she would ask people if they wanted money. This from a woman who would take money from anyone even though she didn't need it. Anyway, Mac said she was doing the same thing in ALF. I told him I didn't know that and he said I told him. NOT. I asked him how could I tell him if I didn't know it. End of conversation. The only way he knows anything about his sister is if I tell him about any emails I have received and there is quite a lot I haven't told him because he just gets himself worked up.
I am waiting to see what happens when we get up there but suffice to say I am not looking forward to the 12 hour drive or the time spent up there.
Starling, you are absolutely correct....or at least that is my take on this situation. The beginning stage for us was the best....he was blissfully unaware of how bad things were going to get, he was just happy he could retire, he didn't have to pay bills any more, no stress and I quit work to stay home and "play" with him...heck he thought he was one lucky dude. Then, the other shoe dropped. The middle stage where he refused to bathe, walked around with many shirts and pairs of pants on, got angry and drove me crazy...peeing all over the house, putting his fist thru walls in frustration and on and on. It was at this point that I had to find a place for him to live. Not an easy move to make, but it saved my life.
When he was in the last stage the care became easier. He was bedridden and no longer communicated. I could care for him at home with minimal help. It was very much like taking care of a very large infant. I was glad to bring him home....to me it was easier than going to sit at a AD facility all day and when there helping feed, change and take care of him. Plus, I saved a whopping $7000/month. I could buy lots of in home help for that amount of money. I was lucky to have people from his facility who worked for me when I brought him home. They came a couple of times a week to bathe him, stayed with him when I was on vacation and were there whenever I needed them. It was a win-win for all concerned.
I can't believe I am still dealing with Bank of America on closing an account that was never activated. I sent them a letter, enclosed a copy of the POA, told them I had cut up the cards & ask for confirmation that these 2 accounts had been closed. I received a letter on Tuesday, they will not close the accounts without an original copy of the POA with the notary stamp. I can't believe it is so hard to close an account that has never been used or activated. I sent them an original copy, however, I would bet anything that they will say they need another copy to close both accounts.
We closed three accounts. one is still sending us counter checks even though they assure me the account is closed. We had the bank send a form letter which we signed. We also sent an e-mail over the internet site. I then placed a call to follow up. It took almost 2 months to get all three closed. 1 was in his name and 2 in my name. Whey don't like to close these accounts. They are hoping that you will use the cards or checks before the account closes.
Just wait a few days....the banks themselves are closing! But seriously, like WaMu going down, someone will buy those banks and send you NEW credit cards for you to try to get closed!
Kadee, wait a few days, then send a letter from your husband, signed by your husband. Forge the signature if you need to. The behavior of banks can be totally idiotic.
Sunshyne, then you didn't see the coverage where they specifically said that when the WAMU banks opened up this morning everything had been settled so the customers would not experience any problems. Really, you are OK.
I find the whole idea that WaMu is going down because of mortgages so strange. They didn't write B and C paper. They were an A paper bank. But even the A paper conduits fall apart after 5 or 6 years.
Am I the only person in America who knows what is going on in the mortgage bonds? Could that really be? I haven't had my head inside a mortgage bond file in 7 or 8 years.
Starling, you are a sweetheart, thanks for the reassurance. I had already done a LOT of googling this morning to make sure I wasn't in trouble. But man, what that newspaper article did to my blood pressure! It was not at ALL well-written, I couldn't tell what had happened at all.
Didn't need any coffee today.
(There are three or four different WaMu's ... I'd checked them out on www.bankrate.com a few weeks ago. One of them was in top-notch condition -- Washington Mutual fsb -- and one was extremely shaky, I think it was called Washington Mutual Bank Nevada, and they had a lot of bad mortgages and risky loans to small businesses. No way to tell where my money was, all four are under the overall umbrella.)
No, I don't think they are the entire problem. But I think they are part of the whole mortgage mess that is hidden.
Look there are the obvious things. It turns out that the WaMu that I was aware of a few years ago recently went into some really weird B, C and D mortgages, and they are falling apart on them. I don't know if they are holding a whole bunch of mortgage bonds, but I bet they are. I don't know what the actual condition of those bonds are, but I've seen this pattern before.
It really is possible that although the financial community do know that the bonds aren't worth what they "should" be worth, that they don't know why it happened.
Sunshyne, you will note I said customers, not investors! No, I can't imagine having $1 million dollars, much less INVESTING $7 billion in one kitty! Warren Buffett bailed out Goldman Sachs by himself! I can't imagine having that much money!
I second what Sunshyne says about sending a letter and forging signature. In fact, our BANKER who is fully aware of problem, has copy of POA, etc. told me when you are dealing with relatively small amounts of money and/or bank tellers, drive through windows, etc. that it is much easier to forge signatures than to deal with jumping through the POA hoops. He of course chuckled and winked when he said it, but it's true!!!! And the times that I've been dealing with account representatives on the phone and they start giving me a hard time because something is in my DH name, not mine, I explain situation---playing that sympathy card sometimes does work--- and suggest that they do what I need done or I'll go over their head to their manager, and it gets done 99% of the time. I've also been known to threaten telephone solicitors with reporting them to the Attorney General's office (which has a strong reputation in Texas for prosecuting cold callers who shouldn't be) and that always works. Finally, the "secretary" or "personal assistant" works too, but not as well if they know you are retired or calling from home phone. So, I'll place some of those kind of calls from my office, identify myself as calling "on behalf" of DH, and particularly when they call back and its an office, it works! Bottom line, sometimes you have to be really mean, maybe forceful is a better word.......