JOAN’S BLOG – TUES/WED, JANUARY 13/14, 2009 – OUR SON’S VISIT

Good afternoon everyone. I am back to website work after a whirlwind visit from my son and daughter-in-law. They arrived Friday night from San Francisco, and left Tuesday afternoon.

There is quite a bit of a let down as I sit writing this. I am rather sad and depressed that we will not see them again for at least another 8 months, but they have their life in San Francisco, and we have ours here in Florida. So it is.

As expected, my son’s reaction to his father’s Alzheimer’s Disease was preceded by his astute observation of his parents, and minimal post observation verbalization. His final assessment was that Dad is definitely not as he was, but did not seem as confused as he did when we visited them in California last year; his Mom, although absolutely not making things up, probably over reacts to situations as she always has. (More about THAT later.)

But what hit me hard was when he said how sad it was to see our relationship now compared to how it was when he was growing up. Our frayed bond is what has tortured me from the beginning of this disease and will continue to do so until the bitter end. That it is obvious to our son, reinforces the fact that it is real and painful, not only to me, but to those who knew us “BEFORE”.

Back to Joel’s assessment that I suffer from “over-reaction” syndrome.  In some cases, I will admit I was an over protective mother, and probably did over react to situations that would not have caused a blip on the radar screen of a mother of six children. But in this case, Joel had an “incident free” visit. Although he saw confusion and forgetfulness, he did not see crying, screaming, anger, or irrational arguing. He got an earful from his father about the “driving issue”, but other than that, Sid was absolutely on his best behavior.

So here I am trying to gear myself up to get back to “normal” after the visit.  The “to do” list and the responsibilities are endless. At the moment, I am not ready to face any of it. I am going to make the “list”, put it aside, and try to sleep off “post visit” sadness.

Feedback to joan@thealzheimerspouse.com

The material included on this website contains general information intended as information only. This site is not intended to provide personal, professional, medical, or psychological advice, and should not be relied upon to govern behavior in any certain or particular circumstances. The opinions in the blogs are solely those of the owner of the website. The opinions on the message boards are not necessarily endorsed by the owner of this website, and are the opinions of those persons writing the messages. All material on this web site is for demonstration and informational purposes only.

The Alzheimer Spouse LLC 2009 All Rights Reserved