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Note on this subject that I discussed with my spouse friends this afternoon – In yesterday’s blog, I lamented that there were almost no resources on this subject, and those that I found were woefully lacking in substance. One of my friends pointed out to me that the so called “experts”, got their information from interviewing...…………………..people like US!  So actually, those of us who are living this experience are really the experts!

Yesterday we discussed the issue from the perspective that the caregiver no longer felt an emotional connection to his/her spouse, and therefore, did not feel sexual desire for them.

Today we look at the other side of the coin. Many caregivers still want the closeness and intimacy sex brings to the relationship, but the AD afflicted spouse has no interest. What to do in that situation?

I COULD try and convince you that maybe it is really the intimacy, the closeness, that we crave, and not sex, but no, many of us want the sex.

Unfortunately, if your AD spouse isn’t interested, you’re not going to get it. But you CAN have affection, closeness, and intimacy through cuddling, lying in each other’s arms, back rubbing. Any kind of touching - when and if the AD spouse is willing, and often they also crave the closeness, but do not have the ability to express it. Reach over and take their hand ; hug them ; lie close together  Do whatever they will allow to make an intimate connection. You may be surprised at just how emotionally satisfying “touching” can be.

I wish you all a pleasant weekend – I will continue to check in on the messages and post them as quickly as I read them. See you all on Monday with another Blog topic.

Feedback to joan@thealzheimerspouse.com

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