JOAN’S BLOG – THURSDAY, October 4, 2007 – OUR MEETING WITH RICHARD TAYLOR, Ph.d.
As my regular readers know, I am a big fan of Richard Taylor, Ph.d, the psychologist who is living with, writing about, and lecturing about Alzheimer’s Disease. I have been in contact with him via e-mail. Much to my surprise and delight, he said he loved reading the information I have presented.
Yesterday, in spite of the illness I am still fighting, including dizziness and exhaustion, I had the opportunity to attend a conference and hear him speak. Since a friend offered to drive the 1 ½ hour distance, Sid and I went. I will save the major content of his lecture for my “AD Spouse Perspective” project, but I wanted to let you know that Sid was absolutely mesmerized by what Richard had to say about his experiences and emotions related to his disease, including his relationship with his wife. Sid said that almost everything Richard said, he related to. He said it was as if Richard was reading his mind. Since Sid has difficulty expressing himself clearly, hearing Richard’s words allowed me to better understand my husband’s point of view.

In line with my Blog on traveling with an AD spouse, Richard related a story of his experience in flying to this conference. (He is able to lecture around the country because of the large amount of caregiving support he receives from his wife, children, and conference organizers). In this case, he was in the security line, and heard his daughter yell, “Dad, STOP IT!” He was shocked because his daughter had never yelled at him, and he was perplexed as to what he was doing that would precipitate such anger in her. When they were sitting on the plane, he asked her what he had done that upset her so much. He was surprised to hear that he had been causing quite a disturbance, complaining loudly, and arguing with airport security because the line was progressing so slowly. In his AD afflicted mind, he was not doing anything out of the ordinary. It was a lesson to me, and all of us, as to how our spouses’ AD plaque entangled minds work. They do not think their behavior is irrational, which would explain why it is impossible to argue with them about it.

We spoke with him afterwards. Both Sid and my friend’s husband told him how much it helped them to hear their own words and feelings spoken. Richard thanked them profusely, and told them how grateful he was to hear that, because it kept him going.
When we left the conference, Sid forgot all of the specifics of what was said, but the elation at having his feelings and experiences validated, did not leave him. From my perspective, I gained a better insight into how my husband’s AD mind works. It was well worth getting out of a sick bed to go.

TOMORROW: YOUR SPOUSE BEHAVES LIKE A CHILD – HOW DO YOU RELATE TO THEM AS AN ADULT?

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