JOAN’S BLOG – WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 17, 2007 – THE IMPORTANCE OF REACHING OUT TO THE SPOUSES OF THE NEWLY DIAGNOSED

Our Support Group meeting was yesterday morning. I was surprised to see at least 5 new faces, all of them spousal caregivers. When we split into our “patient” and “caregiver” groups, I sat silently, letting the new members express their feelings. I recognized all of their emotions – Disbelief – Is it really Alzheimer’s Disease?; Fear – What kind of Hell am I in for?; Confusion – What do I do? How do I handle this?; Desperation – Someone please help me; guide me.

Didn’t we all feel these emotions when we first heard the diagnosis?  Don’t we still feel them at various times? The difference between those of us who have already been pushed onto the Alzheimer’s train, and those who are just embarking is that we understand the importance of support. I know I could not have made it this far without the assistance I have received and continue to receive from support group members, social workers, and all of you on the Message Boards.

The best way to demonstrate how important and appreciated the encouragement we have received has been to us, is to reach out and give it back to the new AD travelers. I could not forget how lost and hopeless I felt about what AD was doing to my marriage, until two “groupies” took me under their wing , validated my feelings, and let me pour my heart out.

I walked over to the new members (both men and women), introduced myself, exchanged phone numbers, and told them about this website. One particularly desperate-looking woman said to me, “I need to talk. Can we get together for lunch?” Absolutely. It was my opportunity to pass on the life-saving assistance that was given to me.

I am heartened to see that all of you reach out and welcome the new members who write on the board, offering the same support and shoulders to cry on that you have been giving to each other. Your thoughtfulness and caring are gifts; gifts that will be returned to you and passed on to others again and again.

Feedback to joan@thealzheimerspouse.com

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